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not sure what to call my problem???
tink0509 posted:
my 2 1/2 yr old daughter keeps crying and saying she wants to go home. she thinks my moms house is home. how do i make her understand that this is home? its really depressing hearing her cry like that. and to top it off hubby spanked her today cause she wouldnt stop screaming she wanted to go home and that made her scream for mommy even louder. now hubby yelled at me for wanted to hold her and calm her down and yelled at her to go play. my poor baby went to her room crying for her mommy. i have no idea what to do
lenono97 responded:
Sorry you are having this problem. My DH can be the same way sometimes so I understand. I would probably just ignore the house mix up problem, it's probably a phase. If she continues to talk about it I would probably change the subject and not to make a big deal out of it. I believe it's ok to let a child cry sometimes after they are disciplined, but maybe only for 10 minutes or so. After that I will ask for an apology and give a hug so the child knows she was bad but is still loved.
jlynnpaine responded:
My DD occasionally says she wants to go home too even when we are at home. I try to make a joke out of it and say something like, "We are at home silly goose," and don't turn it into a big deal. She usually does it when she's overtired or upset and I just try to distract her and she'll usually move on.

As for the spanking, that makes me sad. I would have wanted to comfort her too. You and your DH need to get on the same page as far as how you want to discipline your kids. If you plan to use spanking, then I guess when she cries after a spanking, maybe you'll have to let her be upset for a bit but if you don't agree with him spanking her, or feel that rather than spanking, she just needed to be comforted and helped to calm down, then you guys need to talk so that you can both agree on how you want to handle situations like that. I hope things get better for you.
Jodi (27) DH (24) Shaelynn (2)
sarahann1978 responded:
I should probably keep my opinion to myself, but if it helps at all I am concerned about him spanking her for crying out. I am not anti-spanking, but I think it should be for very specific reasons and situations like willful disobedience after other forms of punishment have failed. I think it is old school thinking to resort to spanking so quickly, and I think ultimately if your DH goes to that as his automatic punishment for everything it won't work for very long anyway.

I think with my DS sometimes he gets frustrated and throws a fit like that because of the communication barrier. In his little head he knows exactly what he wants and when we don't understand it's a great source of frustration for him. Is it possible that she does not have the words for what she really wants and is just saying home for something else?

Maybe you could ask her in other words to verify like ask "do you want to go to Grandma's house?" If it is that she wants to go to Grandma's house ask her why. Is it a toy, is the food Grandma makes, or is it that she is afraid of Dad? Tell her calmly "sweetie, you are at home and we cannot go to Grandma's house right now, but will go ___" or even ask her if she would like to call or Skype with Grandma and talk to her.
Sarah (32), DH(30), DS (Jan. 09)

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