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My almost 2 year is still in MY bed! Help!!!
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An_242000 posted:
Hi everyone! I am new to this blog and being a Mommy to a 21 month old. She is a very determined little girl, to say the least, and has a bit of a temper. She started off in her crib, in my room, and that one night when she had fever I let her sleep w/ me....never the same since. Any suggestions???
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jlynnpaine responded:
Is her crib still in your room? I would just start putting her in the crib at bedtime. She may cry and be upset, but you're the mom. You lay down the law and can't let her dictate how things are run. If it was me, I would let her cry for an allotted period of time (say 10 minutes), then go in and rub her back (don't pick her up!) until she is calm. Don't talk to her or interact with her. If she will not lay down, I would tell her that if she doesn't lay down, you're going out. So get her to lay down, rub her back for a minute to get her calm, then turn around and walk out. Give it 15 minutes the next time. If she's still crying, go back in and repeat the cycle. Do this for as long as you need to until she falls asleep, extending the time before you go back in each time. It may take a week or so, but then she should be used to it and should go to sleep easier. Whatever you do, do NOT cave. If you do, then she'll learn that she can control you by screaming and you'll be facing a much harder battle. I know it's hard, but she will be fine and you will both be much better off by having her learn to sleep in her own bed. Good luck!
Jodi (27) DH (24) Shaelynn (2)
 
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QTpie2009 replied to jlynnpaine's response:
jlynnpaine: I have this problem with my 2 1/2 year old and I've posted about it before. He adjusted well when we changed his crib into a toddler bed last March. I've never put him bed with us in the past either. So just in the past 2 months he says there's monsters in his room. I have done what you said above. However, I put his gait up and walk away and he comes flying out after me knocking down the gait. The crying isn't the part that bothers me, it's the physically running out of his room and me putting him back that goes on and on and on. Do you have any suggestions for me? Sorry initial poster if I stole your post.
Me (28), DH (31), Kayden Riley born 06/09/09
 
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QTpie2009 replied to QTpie2009's response:
Sorry I just read this and I didn't make it clear... he comes in our room and crawls into bed with us, sometimes without us knowing it. If I do notice I continue with the process you said above.
Me (28), DH (31), Kayden Riley born 06/09/09
 
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jlynnpaine replied to QTpie2009's response:
Can you try shutting his door instead of using the gate? I know that seems harsh, but I suspect if you can break the habit, he'll stop trying to get out and then you can start leaving the door open again.

Did you try the stuffed animal suggestion yet? I feel bad that he's so scared. I read an article about this awhile ago and will try to find it tonight and see if it offered any other suggestions.
Jodi (27) DH (24) Shaelynn (2)
 
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QTpie2009 replied to jlynnpaine's response:
Yes, I tried the stuffed animal and it didn't work I actually have shut the door and it worked a couple of times, but then my husband thought that was mean. I actually have to hold the door shut because he knows how to open doors. I think I might try it again. My husband is at work when I have to go through this at bedtime so he doesn't even have to deal with it. Thanks
Me (28), DH (31), Kayden Riley born 06/09/09
 
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JaimieBurke replied to jlynnpaine's response:
Thanks so much! I am going to stick w/ it b/c caving in is what got me to this place now. thank you!
 
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JaimieBurke replied to jlynnpaine's response:
Sorry, I didn't answer your initial question...her crib is in her room, and we've even changed her crib to a toddler bed so she would not feel so confined. I have set up a spot for her on the floor by our bed and she just wakes up crying and climbs in our bed. I am going to start putting her to sleep in her bed and then follow up w/ the advice you have given. Again, thank you!
 
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JaimieBurke replied to QTpie2009's response:
ha. No worries - I don't mind sharing posts The crying does not bother me either; however, it's my husband who sometimes gets bothered b/c he is a drill sgt and wakes up at 4am. I try keeping a schedule w/ her for that reason - everything is just upside down right now, it seems! Hopefully, we can get this under control very soon!
 
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JaimieBurke replied to JaimieBurke's response:
Also my husband is wanting to put a TV in her room so she can be somewhat occupied while in her room. I am more in limbo as I do not want her to expect a TV on at bed time...what are your thoughts?
 
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Jackie03291 replied to JaimieBurke's response:
Honestly, I have never been a fan of TV's in kids rooms, especially at this young of an age. They say that kids shouldn't even watch TV until the age of 2, which we followed that suggestion quite strictly in our house. Even now my daughter doesn't watch more than maybe an hour a day and she is a little over 3 years old now. So my personal opinion is no on the TV, especially in their bedroom. I'm not a fan of using a TV to "babysit" a kid.
Jackie (26) Bryan (34) Ava 10/14/08 Baby Girl Due 5/4/11
 
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tothebeach4 replied to JaimieBurke's response:
No, TV in the bedroom is a bad habbit to start at such a young age. And TV's are not meant to be babysitters.
 
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jlynnpaine replied to QTpie2009's response:
Can you get one of those little gadgets to go on the door that you have to pinch just right to turn the knob? That way you wouldn't have to hold the door shut. And I agree. If your DH isn't dealing with it and doesn't have a better suggestion, do what works. This won't go on forever. It's a habit that needs to be broken. Sorry the stuffed animal didn't help. I couldn't find that article, but will keep looking.
Jodi (27) DH (24) Shaelynn (2)
 
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jlynnpaine replied to JaimieBurke's response:
Good luck! You can do it. And I would definitely advise against putting a tv in her room. Bedrooms are for sleeping and living rooms are for watching tv in my opinion. And I certainly wouldn't use it as a tool to keep her in her room at bedtime. She needs to learn to soothe herself and put herself to sleep. A tv is not going to help that at all. I'd focus on a relaxing bedtime routine that doesn't vary from day to day. Do bath, brush teeth, put on jammies, read a few books and then into bed she goes. Keep the lights dim and things mellow so that she'll be as calm as possible. Then brace yourself for the screaming when you go out. I know it's hard if your DH has to get up early the next day, but it shouldn't last too long. You could always buy him some ear plugs to get through this transition.
Jodi (27) DH (24) Shaelynn (2)
 
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QTpie2009 replied to jlynnpaine's response:
jlynnpaine: Thanks for the door knob idea! I'll try that.
Me (28), DH (31), Kayden Riley born 06/09/09


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