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Anon_77389 posted:
My 2 year old granddaughter cannot stand it when you say no to her. If it's something she's doing, or if we can't go outside because it's raining, she will pick up a toy and throw it. Or sometimes she will spit at me(saliva running down her chin). I've done time out, holding her hands and looking her in the eye and tell her she can't do that, but she still will act up. Sometimes she will bang her head on the wall when she's in time out. She can be very sweet, but boy when something goes wrong, look out!! What can I do??
Jimmy_from_NYC responded:
First and foremost, don't lose your cool. It's best to let them know it's ok to be mad and angry, just not ok to hit, spit, or hurt anyone just because you don't get what you want. Timeouts are good for when the hitting and spitting happen, but keep them short. Then you should do your best to refocus their attention. Perhaps pickup a coloring book and start coloring then ask them to join you. Or start reading their favorite book. Anything to divert their attention. On a side note, I've noticed with our son, when he was three, tantrums increased when he got to watch TV. Once we cut the TV out for a week, the tantrums cut down significantly. Didn't matter what show he watched. Something with TV that made him more aggressive.
cjs712 responded:
Dear ANON,
In my opinion , and my only experience is raising 2 stubborn rambunctious boys, if you have employed the stated techniques repeatedly she might need to be evaluated ? How verbal is she ? Is she acting out because she is having a hard time communicating her needs and wants ? Even if a child is only slightly behind in speech skills it can cause all kinds of behavior issues. Try to get a referral to a large teaching hospital for the testing if possible, they will be up on the most current research in the area.

If you have been using a different technique every time then pick one and stick with it 2-3 weeks at least for it to sink in , I think the amount of time a 2 year old can handle time out is about 60 seconds but I am not positive on that fact. Make sure your expectations arent too high, Limit her choices throughout the day, be consistent, be calm and loving.

Last thought, when I went to visit my son's 3 year old classroom one day I noticed that when the teacher wanted the kids to be quiet she would whisper. The children had to quiet down to hear her. It worked like a charm.

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