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sexual exploration
foxylady77 posted:
I am needing some advise on what is the extent of a three year olds sexual development and/or exploration. My son was caught (in his room, with the door closed!) playing with a toy around his bottom and touching his privates. We remained calm, my husband and I discussed it shortly, and he told him that was not appropriate (in childs language) and not to do it again. It was a little unsettling.
thank you
FarmWife1979 responded:
Not have boys, I'm not totally sure what the right answer would be here, but from what I've ready in other posts in the past this does seem to be a normal age to poke, grab, pull, rub, etc on their personal parts. Simply put, it feels good, so they are going to play with it any chance they get.

I understand that this would be unsettling for you and your husband, it would be for me too. However, it is natural and normal curiosity. There really isn't anything wrong with touching himself - especially if he's doing it behind closed doors, in the privacy of his room. I would try to discourage the toy part of it because that has the potential for injury aside from causing dirty toys. (Eww...)
Holly (31) DH (38) DD (3-born 11/16/07). Full-time working Mom, Wife, Library Board President, Chef, Chauffer, Maid, Toy Assembler and Repair Technician, and Chief Boo-Boo Kisser.
tlkittycat1968 responded:
When I change DS' diaper (yes, he's almost 4 and not potty trained), he'll play with his penis by pulling on the foreskin (he's not circumsized) or pushing his testicles. He does the same in the bath. I just laugh and say, in a joking voice "No, don't do that" but not really meaning it. Since he only does it when he's naked or having his diaper changed, I haven't had to worry about telling him not to do it in public bu only in his room.

Playing with yourself is completely appropriate as long as it's done in private.
AJ__Sparrow responded:
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. Little boys are always exploring themselves. My son frequently touches or pulls on his penis when he's naked (we're still potty training him so he spends a lot of time pantless), and I try never to make a "big deal" out of it. Usually I just laughingly say, "Hey! Don't touch your penis!" and he'll giggle and usually stop. Honestly, there's nothing really "inappropriate" about it, as long as he's not doing it a LOT, or doing it around other people. He's not performing some shameful sexual act, but just touching a part of his body that feels good. Totally normal. If he was doing it a lot, I would try to encourage him to do other things instead, and obviously, you should tell him that he shouldn't put toys around his bottom because they'll get dirty, but I wouldn't stress about it. Very normal 3-year-old boy thing to do.
Me, DH, DD (4/15/04), DS (1/29/08), and our number 3 (EDD 8/9/11, a girl!)

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