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Trouble potty training our 3 yr old son
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Reace102308 posted:
I am a working mother and my husband is currently unemployed and home with our son 4 days a week. Our son will turn 3 next month. We just purchased a potty for him. A little late I think but at least we have it. He is still wearing diapers. When I say, while in the bathroom, "Do you have to go pee pee? " or "Do you need to go pee pee on the potty?" he yells "No"! and books it out of the bathroom. I have had him sit on it a few times but he does nothing and then wants to get up. I know he doesn't fully comprehend it yet. My husband feels when he is ready he will do it. But I'm concerned because I am not there 4 days out of the week and can't see what is going on. As a mother, I think I would be actually sitting him on it more frequently. My husband isn't going that route. I know it takes longer for boys, but I also don't want to rush it. He has been out of his Huggies Overnights for a few months now and 3 to 4 days a week he is waking up wet If anyone can give me some advice I would appreciate it. I mentioned it to my husband last night and he gets defensive. He "has been through this before". He has an 18 yr son from a previous relationship. So, 15 yrs ago he went through this... I believe getting him familiar with the potty itself is the way to start... My husband says he doens't understand it and asks him if he needs to use the potty, and when he is ready he will say yes. He may have been through this before but I haven't. I don't want my son in diapers when he is 4!! I'm probably worrying too much....What, Mom's worry???
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ryanandleigh responded:
Potty training will go much faster if your son is interested in it. Just because he is almost 3, doesn't mean he should be using the potty. There are many kids who learn when they are 3 or even at age 4. Some ways to tell if he is ready - is his diaper dry for periods of time, does he tell you when he goes or needs a diaper change, can he take off his pants and put them on without help, is he looking for your approval or showing signs of independence (I can do it/I am a big boy type statements). If he is showing these signs, you might try potty training but if he isn't ready, then back off and wait until he is. Don't worry - he will learn how to do it. If he isn't potty trained, I would continue using diapers or pull ups at night. Even kids who are potty trained some times take longer with night time training.
 
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texasmommy0811 responded:
Honestly, my son went potty in the toilet on his own. I had been trying since he turned 2. One day my son got out of the shower, walked to his toilet, and went number 2. he did it all by himself. Afterwards he said "im a big boy right mom" so i think if you keep telling him "you're a big boy now" something will start to turn in his head. i started telling my son that about 3 months before his 3rd birthday. the day he started using the toilet was a month before his 3rd birthday. i have heard some parents take their child to the bathroom every 15 minutes.i heard that works too. but honestly i think you should just wait until he is ready. it would be a lot smoother transition. good luck!!!!
 
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Reace102308 replied to texasmommy0811's response:
Thank you for your responses!! We went back to the Huggies Overnights, for now. But right after I type this I'm going to ask him again, and start using the 'big boy now' theory.... He may not be ready....Thank goodness for this Board! It helps getting advice here.... I notice when we go to someone's home, or at the store, he doesn't go. Like he is shy about going. We were at a friend's house yesterday for about 4 hrs and he was dry the whole time. As soon as we got home I asked him if he needed to go pee pee on the potty and he said 'No!' . About a half hr later I checked his diaper and of course he needed to be changed. I'll keep plugging away!! Thank you!!
 
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FarmWife1979 replied to Reace102308's response:
Hang in there. I think it really is all about when they are ready, no matter how hard we want them to be ready or push they aren't going to do it until they want to. It doesn't hurt to suggest it, but don't get your feelings hurt about it and don't worry about "comparing" to when other kids reached this milestone.

I understand your concern about how your husband is approaching it, but keep in mind he is a parent too. I've learned over time that sometimes my DH does things with DD differently than I would, but the end result is the same, so it really doesn't matter which method you use. Your son will get the hang of this and trust me, he won't be going off to college in diapers! Just give them some time - your DH might be a better influence on getting your son trained than you think - after all, he does have the same parts to make a demostration a little easier!
Holly (31) DH (38) DD (3-born 11/16/07). Full-time working Mom, Wife, Library Board President, Chef, Chauffer, Maid, Toy Assembler and Repair Technician, and Chief Boo-Boo Kisser.
 
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leftcoastgirl responded:
I'm in the exact same situation with my DD! She has absolutely no interest in using the potty and will give us a loud "No!" when asked. She's actually gone in the potty once or twice in the past, but she just doesn't want to do it regularly. When we've tried to push the issue, she'll end up holding her pee until she can't stand it - and that ends with her soaking through her pull-up and upset. So, we've decided to just let it go for a while. She's now starting to dislike being wet or dirty - which she never has before - so maybe we're starting to get close.
Me (35), DH (35), DD (3), and our new addition due January 9, 2012!


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