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So hard, new to 3 yr old boards
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palvarad posted:
Hey everyone, my littleman just turned 3 this past week and I can't believe he's that big already! I clearly recall his first year and it feeling like my own personal Vietnam, but we made it, we made it through and he's a pretty cool kid!
That being said, I gave birth to my second child back in November and he's a great baby. I can't say I have anything to complain about, because I don't because my kids are great, but I feel overwhelmed sometimes. There are days where I feel so alone even though DH is there and trying to help out. I feel so overwhelmed that I just want to yell. It isn't them, it's me and I know that. I love them so much but there are days where it's tough to keep smiling or keep positive. My toddler is a such an awesome big brother, and I am in awe of him. He humbles me, but there are days swear I feel like a teenager (I'm 33) and have no idea how to be a mother.

I know this is stress, I'm not despondent but I do get down. I just needed to vent.
Thanks everyone. Nice to be here finally!
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sdadkin responded:
My oldest doesn't turn 3 until July, but I know where you are coming from because I also have a 9 month old. The boys are 21 1/2 months apart. The first few months were the hardest. It was very overwhelming in the beginning and very exhausting. It took awhile for everyone to get used to having a new baby around and for us to develop new routines. Now things are starting to go more smoothly- especially since DS2 started crawling and is able to feed himself some. The boys do fight a little bit (like when DS2 tries to play with DS1's toys...) but they usually get along okay.

Anyway, what I was trying to say as that the first few months are definitely the hardest. I think things should ease up for you pretty soon. Especially when your youngest starts to hit some milestones. We all feel overwhelmed sometimes. No one is a perfect parent. You just do the best you can and never be afraid to ask for a little help ever once in awhile. That's what family and friends are there for! I would go crazy if the grandparents didn't come get the kids ever once in awhile! Hope you feel better soon!
 
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jlynnpaine responded:
I think what you're feeling is totally normal, but at the same time, it sucks. I remember feeling really down and frustrated for awhile when my DD was younger and came to realize that I just needed some "me" time. So DH and I figured out a day for me to go hang out with one of my girlfriends and have lunch and it made a world of difference. To have adult conversation, not have someone asking for something constantly, not being at home feeling like there are a dozen chores waiting to be done, etc. Is there any way that you could take some alone time? Maybe every other week go get your nails done or go out to lunch with a friend? Even to go grocery shopping alone. It's still a break from everything else. Big hugs girl. Feel free to vent anytime.
 
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earleyml1012 replied to jlynnpaine's response:
Hang in there! I too have a 3 year old and a 3 month old and last month I felt the same way. Seriously, sit down with your DH and let him know how you are feeling. DH didn't realize some of the stuff I do in the mornings/evenings to get the girls ready for the day/bed. So we made a list and agreed on who would do what. Sounds silly as adults but it worked. Now that DD#2 is getting a little older and is more content playing rather than being held, things are getting a little easier. I've been told that as she becomes more "independent" that things will get much easier, so I'm thinking another 2-3 months. Hang in there momma! I'm sure you are doing a great job. Also get out of the house alone...even if it's for groceries. I went shopping with my MIL and it's amazing what 2 hours away from the house can do for you!!!
 
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palvarad replied to earleyml1012's response:
Thanks ladies. I know it's a one day at a time thing, but sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel gets blurred and I have to remember that it's there.
You know, I have to say these boards are really a lifesaver. These boards got me through some seriously bad late nights where my first son felt like eternity. Thank you ladies for replying, it really does help
 
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tchance55 responded:
I am young, 24, and should have so much energy but my children wear me out along with me working 12 hour night shifts. I have a 3yr DS and 16 month DS and a 2 month DD. Thank goodness I have a wonderful DH who allows me to get all the rest I want. Being a mother is draining, especially when you have more than one who still depend on you for almost everything.


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