Hello ladies, This is my first time posting here but since I got so much good help from the trying to conceive boards I thought I would try here for my potty training issues. My DS is just over 3 years old. We have been doing some potty training since last spring. Occasionally he would go on the potty but typically in his diaper. I wasn't too worried since he was young and a boy (heard boys take longer). Then last november he started going potty a lot more. The week before christmas (12/19) he woke up dry and stayed dry most of the day with maybe one accident in his pull ups in the evening. Again the same on 12/20. We did some running around town on 12/21 and had a playdate at a friend's house in which he went in his diaper the whole time. I wasn't too surprised since he was out of the norm (i am a stay at home mom to him and his little sis (18 mo).). 12/22 he was back to going on the potty and the same for 12/23 We headed out of town on 12/23 and I expected to for him to go in his pull up on the trip and most of christmas being at the in-laws and with so many people around but he did great. Barely any wet pull ups the whole trip there and most all of the holiday. (He did have an ear infection where we started meds just before christmas and it took two different meds to take care of the problem) Again trip home went good with him telling us and even a day or two back home. But then he just regressed. I can barely get him to tell me now when he has to go. Although if it is an inconvient time for me like first thing in the morning yelling he needs to "put water in the potty", time outs, nap time, or even out shopping, he tells me just fine. But playing, or any other time he will just go in his diaper. I am getting to my wits end. I know he knows when he needs to go he just chooses not to tell me and go in his diaper. I read someone else say they started doing time outs when their child would do that since they knew what they were doing and were just being lazy about it so I tried it. Somedays he will go most of the day telling me and others he won't use the potty except before/after bed/naptimes when I make him try. Today he was in time out and peed in his diaper, stoop up had his pants around his ankles and was tugging at his diaper instead of just saying he had to use potty. We have tried bribing with m&m after he tells us and goes on the potty and that doesn't even work. He will tell us what will happen if he goes in his diaper and that he will go to time out and won't get his M's and all so he understands. Do you have any suggestions for me? I know it can take longer and I am thinking about trying just putting him in undies next week when my mom comes (so I have help with kids when i have to clean up the messes he makes) but I dont' know if that will help. He also refuses to go poopies in the potty. (he states that he is pooping but won't go on potty yet) I don't think I can handle poop and pee messes in undies. Please help me!! At this rate my DD will get potty trained before my DS. She has already asked a few times to sit on potty (although never gone while sitting on it). I am sure some of that is just that she sees him going on there and wants to mimic him but I don't know.
Hi! I had a hard time with my oldest son too. He is now 3 and a half but a few weeks before his 3rd birthday I was determined to get him out of diapers because I had an 11 month old and was 6 months pregnant and was not going to buy 3 sets of diapers. I hated poopy and pee messes, but I will say that I believe putting him on the undies is what did it (I used the thicker training undies which absorb better than the others). He had a few accidents at first but he would pee in the potty almost everytime. However, the poopy did take slightly longer. My mother told me that I should not punish him when he did "mess" in his undies because it might make him try to hide it from me to avoid punishment. So I was deperate to try anything. I would just tell him it's okay and that he needs to go to the potty next time while cleaning him up. It only took a week or less with that method and he was using the potty all the time. One thing I did have to do though was occasionally make him go to the potty during his play time because I guess he was just so caught up and would have an accident. But now I have no problem with accidents or anything. I will say that I never had a problem with him wetting the bed because I limited his fluid intake at night and nothing past 8 and he had to potty before bed. If you do use the undies, I would suggest that you wash them after "messy" accidents and not just throw them out because they are stained. I kept them until he was fully trained and then replaced them with the cute animated ones which he loves. I know it is hard and very frustrating but you have to really commit everyday. I am dreading potty training my 16 month old and then my 2 month old. Good luck!!!
I completely agree with everything tchance55 said, great advice! I totally think as long as he has the pullups he will use them. I also agree about punishment, I tried that and then DS would have an accident and felt really bad about himself and it caused a bigger regression.
One other thing I would add is I don't know what kind of potty you are using, but my DS NEVER liked the kiddy potty chair. We got the rings for our big toilets and a stool and that is all he ever wanted to use.
I agree about switching him to underwear. I know it sucks to deal with the mess, but it really seems to help them make the connection that it's not good to go in their underwear. Personally, I would not punish for accidents. We do positive reinforcement for successes (starting out small with a sticker for any pee/poop in the potty to only getting a sticker if the panties stayed completely clean/dry and she peed/pooped in the potty) and just remind her that we pee or poop in the potty and that she needs to tell us when she feels like she has to go when she has an accident. Good luck. It's stressful and frustrating, but he will get it. Just be consistent.
I got the training undies to start using. We have also always put him on the big potty (actually without a ring) cuz it was his choice when we starting potty training last year. He does good on it and like I said he was doing excellent....now nothing excepting telling me right after he goes in his diaper. I think this is going to be the week and I pray it doesn't take long!! Thank you for all your ideas and help ladies!!
I agree with putting him on undies. What worked for DS was to have him run around naked during the days, for about a week, so when he felt the urge he could run in his potty and go. A lot of times they don't understand the whole taking undies off before using the potty since they're used to going in whatever they have on. So I figured, get DS used to going to the potty first and then put undies on. Also a friend of mind couldn't get her DS potty trained and tried everything she could think of. During a visit her MIL took him to the dollar store and bought a bunch of little toys. Every time he used the potty he'd get to pick a toy. That seemed to be the trick that worked for him.
Honestly, I don't think it's about training at this point but simply about control. Based on your info it seems like he knows when he has to go and he sounds clever enough to understand how much power that gives him. I've always looked at potty training as a behavior change they have to make and not a cute trick I'm teaching my kid. I think when you take the drama, hype and sugar out the the equation, it's easier for them accept and to take control over their bodies.
First off, lose the diapers and pull ups. Allow him to make messes (and help clean them up) but be sure to set him up for success by reminding him to go, taking him to the bathroom and congratulating him when he makes it in time.
All of my kids trained easily before they turned 2.5 (DS and DD2 were less than 2) so I know a simplistic approah really can work, you just have to stay strong!
I had my 3 year old fully potty trained 100% through the night and everything by the time she was 2 years old. That being said, here are the two things that I think really helped us be successful:
1. I NEVER once used a pull-up. I felt that they were the biggest waste of money and I refused to even go there. I used the thicker gerber training underwear whenever we were home and actively working on potty training.
2. I always gave her a special treat when she went on the potty. She got 1 M&M for going pee and 2 M&M's for going poop.
3. I made sure that her daycare was on board and keeping consistent.
4. I didn't wait for her to always tell me that she had to go. If it had been longer than an hour and she hadn't told me that she had to go, I went and sat her down on the potty until she went, and she still got a reward for going then too.
Best of luck!
Jackie (27) Bryan (36) Ava 10/14/08 Baby Girl 2 Due 5/4/12
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