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Daycare - WWYD?
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earleyml1012 posted:
DD has been at the same daycare since she was 8 weeks old but recently we've been having some issues and I'm not sure if we should pull both girls. DD#2 wouldn't know the difference since she's only 4 months old but DD#1 has all of her friends and teachers that she knows. Here are the issues:

1) Turnover has been CRAZY!! Since DD#2 was born, DD has had 3 new teachers. That's only 4 short months!! I know daycares have high turnover but this seems rediculous to me. Plus I found out yesterday 2 more teachers gave their notice.

2) DD has been getting very red/sore in her privates. We took her to the pedi to make sure it wasn't an infection. It wasn't but she told us it was due to not wiping properly...she is only 3. Prior to this I asked her teachers to try to help her or even wipe for her. I find out yesterday from another teacher who I trust, that one of DD's teacher's complained about our request. Saying she doesn't get paid enough to wipe butts. HELLO!?! You're a teacher of preschoolers, they still need help!!

3) DD has peed her pants 3 times this week. She's been potty trained since July and hasn't had this many accidents since July let alone in a week. We think this might be b/c of the new teachers and that either they don't take her often enough or she doesn't trust them to tell them she has to go.

4) Both DD and another parent that I know told me that a kid in the class hits/kicks/chokes on a regular basis. The other parent even said something to the director but nothing has been done. I've noticed that DD's anger has gotten worse and I think it might be from this kid. When she gets mad, she hits the follow and screams. She's never done this before.

5) Security. The center is part of a church on the second/third floors. For over a year they've talked about installing a security system but still hasn't happened. There are stairs next to the bathrooms and I found out that the kids go to the bathroom alone with the teacher standing between the room and the bathroom. However, I've seen them get distracted and not keep an eye on the kid in the bathroom. Who's saying no one is coming up those stairs or that the kid wouldn't just walk out?!? Also with security, there have been days when I pick up DD and there is a stranger in the room that I've never seen or met before. Turns out it's a new teacher but there's no one there to tell me who this person is or if they are legit.

So what do you guys think?
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miob responded:
I think that even one of those reasons would be a good enough one to move them - 5 is a clincher. If it were me, I'd switch. If you're not 100% comfortable with where you're leaving your children, then it's time to move.

It will be tough for your older one, but in my opinion, it's worth it in the long run.
 
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sarahann1978 responded:
Those are all very valid concerns and you have every right to be concerned.

My thought is how urgent do you feel you need to act?

For me there are only two licensed daycares in the vicinity, so changing for me is not easy AT ALL! I would take my list of concerns to the Director and try to encourage change before taking the kids out, but in your situation it might be severe enough that the change is warrented immediately.

If I did go in I would also come up with the concessions for change and give a date, like if by in a month I haven't seen any rememdies, I am moving on. I think that enforces a sense of urgency and will help you gage how serious they are.
Sarah (33) DH (30) DS (Jan 2009) baby (Aug 2012)
 
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magsnemma responded:
So I've dealt with #1 and 2, but not the others, but if it were me, I would start checking out other day cares while you are addressing your concerns with the directors.

I would give the director the benefit of the doubt, even though you've heard he/she hasn't done anything. There might be things that have been done, they just haven't been effective and the director doesn't know that. Address your concerns with the director, especially the security issue and the problem child. That's really unacceptable.

If things don't settle down or action isn't being taken while you find another place, then you know you made the right choice in moving. If you can't find another place or there just aren't any options, it seems like you're going to need to be going to the director constantly to make sure he/she is on top of things, although that doesn't sound like fun.

Good luck.
Ali (34) DH (35) DD (3)
 
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earleyml1012 replied to magsnemma's response:
DH and I conference called the director with our concerns. As far as the potty, she said she's going to talk to the teachers again and she's going to observe DD this afternoon. The morning teacher told her today that she thinks it's a focus issue of DD, she's so excited to be finished to wipe that she doesn't finish and then wets herself.

For the kid being violent, they have a plan in place and are also seeking outside help. I guess from the state?!? Then if these steps don't help, she said they are going to ask the family to remove the child from the program.

Security, they are activity looking for a security system. As far as the back stairs, the door to the outside is locked. However, I still expressed my concern about children wandering out into the hall by themselves. She stated that the doors have been open b/c the building is old and the heating is located in that room so it gets very hot. We suggested that instead of opening the doors to the hall that they open the doors that lead into the 2 year old room. She liked that idea, so we'll see if they put it into place.

DH and I briefly talked afterwards. We're going to give it about a month or so but I've still contacted another center. We live near the capital of our state so there are tons of centers. It's just finding one that's at a convient location that is in our price range.
 
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magsnemma replied to earleyml1012's response:
It sounds like the director is pretty open to you and your feedback, at least from what you wrote. It's probably a good idea to keep your options open like you're doing, in case the director is doing lip service and not able to follow through.

My DD gets really red too. If it helps you at all, I started letting DD go commando at night, it seems to help with the redness.
Ali (34) DH (35) DD (3)
 
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earleyml1012 replied to magsnemma's response:
You know our pedi suggested that but DH thought it was weird. Do you still put pj bottoms on her? I think part of the problem too is that she has REALLY dry skin in the winter so we stopped giving her baths, just showers. Well DH confessed to me that he wasn't washing her there b/c he was embarrassed. So we're back to baths so that she can soak and I think that's helping. DH got yelled at for his "behavior" since he knew this was an issue and he still wasn't washing her. I don't think he understood being a man how important it is to wash down there. Plus I told him that she's too little understand anything is weird about daddy washing her. Now if she was like 8-9 I could see how it's weird and by then they are old enough to do it themselves.
 
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jlynnpaine replied to earleyml1012's response:
I really hope your discussion with the director gets results quickly. I think your concerns are definitely valid and if things didn't change quick, I would definitely be looking for another center.
Jodi (28), DH (24), Shaelynn (2), DD2 (due 5/16)
 
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magsnemma replied to earleyml1012's response:
DD likes nightgowns, so that's usually what she wears. She does have pj pants or sleepers that she wears without underwear. They aren't tight (nothing is tight on miss skinny minny) so I don't worry about chafing(?) or anything like that.
Ali (34) DH (35) DD (3)
 
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earleyml1012 replied to magsnemma's response:
UGH!!! I'm so frustrated. DD had new pants on again yesterday after talking to the director. Now they are blaming it on her, that she's not pulling her pants down far enough when she goes to the bathroom. If that's the reason, why is it just now happening? We never had this issue with the old teacher. Plus her privates were bright red again today, which means to me that they are not wiping her. I'm seriously so close to pulling them but DH doesn't want to. I don't know how to convince him.
 
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magsnemma replied to earleyml1012's response:
The fact that anyone would blame a three yo for not pulling her pants down is a red flag to me. She's three and she needs help going potty, end of story. I mean, you could just keep bringing it up to the director every time something like this happens, but that doesn't sound like much fun. Really, both you and your DH should feel good about where you have your kids. Why doesn't your DH want to move them? Does he feel like you're overreacting?
Ali (34) DH (35) DD (3)
 
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jlynnpaine replied to earleyml1012's response:
Oh my gosh. I cannot believe they're blaming it on her. Hello? She's 3! Why isn't there a teacher in there helping with pants, wiping, making sure they're washing their hands, etc. It's not freaking Kindergarten, they're three years old! I would be livid. What are DH's reasons for not wanting to switch daycares?
Jodi (28), DH (24), Shaelynn (2), DD2 (due 5/16)
 
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An_240941 replied to earleyml1012's response:
Seriously after everything you have said I would ignore your DH's comments on not wanting to pull them & just do it. They don't seem safe or well taken care of there at this point. I'm going to assume he doesn't drop them off or pick them up from there at all or if so not often, so I'm guessing he hasn't seen enough first hand to understand how serious the issues have become. Considering that you have several options available to you for child care, I absolutely see no reason for you to keep them there.
 
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earleyml1012 replied to An_240941's response:
DH does drop them off in the mornings, however, DD #1's teachers are not there at the time. I get to see more interaction then he does with the teachers. I've notice with this new teacher that she seems irritated to be there and when I picked DD#1 up early on Friday all I heard from her was yelling at the kids. This morning before leaving, DH asked DD#1 if she likes going to DC, she answered very quietly yes. Then he asked if she liked her teacher and she said no b/c she yells at her. To me, DD#1 doesn't seem happy to go anymore like she use to. I've been calling around to other centers and I found one at a convient location that's only $10 more a week than what we are paying. Granted for DD#2 they don't supply wipes or baby food but I don't think that costs too much to supply. This center's website looks so nice and it's affliated with a church, which ours is. I like this b/c the kids learn bible stories and bible songs, huge plus for us.

I'm trying to get DH to seriously think about pulling them before things get worse and before DD#2 gets into the stranger anxiety...she's only 4 months right now. I don't know what to do to get him to change his mind. He is picking the kids up tomorrow b/c I have to stay late at work so maybe he'll see a little of what I see.

Yesterday, DD#1 didn't even want to talk to me about her day. She kept changing the subject or answering my questions with one word. Finally she told me that she didn't want to talk about it.
 
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jlynnpaine replied to earleyml1012's response:
Poor DD1. That to me alone sounds like a reason to switch centers. She's obviously unhappy and is going to continue to be so until something changes. I'm sorry but it is unacceptable for a teacher to be yelling at toddlers. She should be able to use a normal voice and still get them to mind and if she can't, she has no business being a teacher. Have you tried telling DH how this could affect both girls' development in the long run? Not to mention the physical dangers of not being supervised while going to the bathroom and the possibility of someone getting into the building through that door. Have you asked him why he feels that they need to stay there when there are other (better) options available? Has he noticed the change in DD1's attitude about school and not wanting to talk about it?
Jodi (28), DH (24), Shaelynn (2), DD2 (due 5/16)


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