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    Does DC listen better to you or DH?
    avatar
    cyn22mull posted:
    Just wanted to see where everyone else was at with listening

    Does your DC listen better to you, DH, or both equally?

    It seems lately that DS will listen to me much better than DH and I know it upsets DH that he does not listen to him. Just last night DS put all his books in the floor. DH asked him to put them back on the shelf and he didnt't do it. Then DH raised his voice, DS got upset and I went in and told DS to put his books up and he put them up without any issue. I then made him go in and tell DH he was sorry for not listening. So, how do I handle it? Do I not step in and just let DH handle it? Then they both end up getting upset...

    Thanks for any input!!
    Cindy (35) Scott (39) DS Christopher 3
    Reply
     
    avatar
    magsnemma responded:
    DD listens much better to me than DH.

    We have the same situation here in our house. I'm learning to stay out of it and make DH handle it though. Both DH and your DS will learn from these situations and hopefully DH will figure out a better way to deal with it rather than getting upset. Maybe after something goes down and it's settled and your DS isn't around, you could talk to him about things that work for you? My DH has responded to that. I feel like if I go in and tell DD to do something after DH has also, I'm undermining his authority and that DD will never learn she needs to listen to both of us.
    Ali (34) DH (35) DD (3)
     
    avatar
    sarahann1978 responded:
    If it makes you feel any better my DS is in a phase where he doesn't really listen to anybody. It drives me nuts! I think it is pretty equal selective hearing for both DH and I and it's really frustrating.

    How ever you handle it I would get on the same page with your husband and have good communication about your strategy when you are away from your DS.
    Sarah (33) DH (30) DS (Jan 2009) baby (Aug 2012)
     
    avatar
    jlynnpaine responded:
    I'm in the same boat as Sarah. DD has very selective hearing right now no matter who is telling her to do something. At our house, whoever has asked her to do it follows through. The other parent doesn't step in because we feel that it undermines the authority of the person who has originally asked her to do it. We do have a game plan for when she doesn't listen that we both follow. We ask her once, if she doesn't listen, we get down on her level and make her look at our face, then ask her again. Usually, that's all it takes and she will do it. If not, then we move on to a consequence for not listening (sometimes timeout sometimes losing the toy, depending on what it is we're asking her to do or not do).
    Jodi (28), DH (24), Shaelynn (2), DD2 (due 5/16)
     
    avatar
    cyn22mull responded:
    Thank you all for your comments! I am going to talk to DH tonight about it, DH seems to get more worked up and he tends to yell more, where I tend to tbe able to just tell him in a calm firm voice and he listens. Maybe it is because I do not yell at him all that much, he tends to know when I get my loud mommy voice out that he better listen. When DH is with him alone he seems to listen to him. Thanks again!! I will talk to DH tonight about not getting so loud with him for everything. Sorry for rambling on...
    Cindy (35) Scott (39) DS Christopher 3


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