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Potty training PROBLEMS
An_244468 posted:
My daughter turned 3 last September. About May of last year she started asking to sit on the potty when I took her with me to the bathroom. I already had a seat and of course let her. I talked to the daycare that she is is about starting her (this was back in APRIL of last year). Both of the people there repeatedly told me she wasn't ready to start potty training for one reason or another. Main one that annoyed me was hearing them say it was because she didn't use the bathroom the few times she asked to sit on the toilet there. Unfortunattly she is there 9 hours out of the day so without their cooperation I felt that any thing I did with her wasn't going to be very productive. The FINALLY decided to work with her in August of last year only one month before her third birthday. Which happened to be when many kids left to start kindergarden. Now here it is the end of March, she still is not potty trained, she doesn't say when she needs to go so I have to make sure to take her every hour or there is an accident. I have put up with ALOT of guilt trips from the daycare blaming me for not being potty trained within 3 months, that the other 5 children who were younger than her and started at the same time are already wearing underwear ect. I've tried candy, stickers, no underwear, they work for maybe a week then she's bored. Now we are on the little admission tickets you get since she thinks they are for fair rides. (Which we will trade in for the real ride tickets when it comes in 2 months.) 1 if she pottys, 2 if she poops, 5 if she's dry in the morning... The downfall if she pottys or poops in her underwear I tear up 1 or 2 tickets, none if it was night though. She's been on this for 2 weeks not many accidents. I'm still really frustrated though having a daycare breathing down my neck and anything she doesn't do is my fault, but the accomplishments she's made learning things some 5 year olds don't know is because of them and according to the owner "she has RAISED other peoples children for 23 years and knows what she's doing". I know my daughter is just pushing to do things her way and I don't mind not being potty trained as much as I do being hounded by the only daycare available for my work hours.
i honestly don't know what else to do if she looses intrest in the tickets. Yes she is my first and only child but that doesn't mean I don't know anything about them. If anyone has any other ideas how to get her out of being in the same stage for months now PLEASE HELP. I'm too the point of timeout if she says she "wont" go and then has an accident, but at the same time I feel bad.
lenono97 responded:
Wow, what an unfortunate situation. It sounds like a tough spot to be in. If it wasn't for the day care situation, I would say she just isn't ready and you should back off for a while but it sounds like you don't have that option. Do you have her in underwear or pull ups? I think what finally worked for my daughter was just putting her in underwear and forgetting about the pull ups. She treated them like diapers. Can you take a weekend and just let her run around the house in underwear or even naked? Maybe getting the feeling of being wet will "click" for her and she will start asking to go to the potty. I like your ticket idea! Can you push back a little with the day care provider? If they think they know so much about potty training why aren't they giving you suggestions or doing more about training her? Good luck.
jlynnpaine responded:
I'm so sorry that the daycare provider is giving you such a hard time about it when you're obviously trying everything you can to try to help it click for your daughter. I would be really ticked off that they were trying to "blame" you for her lack of progress. They should be trying to work together with you. My DD is taking a long time to be fully potty trained as well so I understand your frustration. We recently started using stamps for potty successes rather than stickers because she was bored with those. She gets on stamp on a potty chart for pee and two stamps for poop. She is extremely excited about this and has had more success in the last two days that she's had in weeks before that. So if the tickets stop working, maybe you could try something like that. I personally wouldn't punish for refusing to go, even when she has an accident. This is something only she can control and if you try to take that control away, she's only going to push back more. I would just remind her that when she feels like she needs to go, that she needs to hurry to the potty so that she doesn't have an accident. Any successes make a BIG deal over. Good luck. I know it's super frustrating.
Jodi (28), DH (24), Shaelynn (2), DD2 (due 5/16)

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