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Toddler with anger
jja29 posted:
Hi All,

My son will be 3 at the end of May. He is a well mannered child, who has fits here and there as any toddler does, but recently he has been scratching, hitting, and lashing out at other children at daycare. Today it has escalated to something we are starting to be concerned about. He is an only child. I don't know if its something we are doing wrong as parents, if he is calling out for more attention? He has cousins (same age) that he sees on a regular basis, and does not act this way towards them. Is it because he's only child?? Is this something I should bring up to his pediatrician? My husband and I don't know what to do anymore. He is such a sweet boy, and this is out of character for him. Any thoughts??? Thanks!
sdadkin responded:
My son will be 3 in July and he is going through a little bit of the same thing. He has always been a pretty good kid but here lately he has been throwing more fits and even trying to hit me when he is upset. I think it's just a stage they are going through and are getting frustrated when they can't communicate exactly how they want to. I think the key is to remain consistent. He gets immediate time out for hitting (no warning). If he is screaming or throwing a fit then I let him be for a minute and when I come back to him I make him look me in the eyes. I tell him his behaviour is not very nice and I try to figure out what it is that's bothering him. If it's because I have told him no for something then I explain to him the reason why and try to divert his attention to something else. If he keeps throwing fits and is really cranky then I know it's because he is tired and probably didn't get his nap out all the way. This seems to be happening a lot at daycare these days. He has been sleeping in more in the mornings with his daddy and it takes him longer to fall asleep at naptime at daycare.
Beadlady78 responded:
My son was the exact same way. He is an only child and at about 2 years old until right before 3, he was a lashing out at day care. At home he was just fine. When he was with family and friends, he was fine. I am not saying this is the case with your little guy, but for us, we found out it was all about day care. When my son first started hitting and pushing, they would discipline him by putting him alone. The hitting and pushing got worse and day care told me that we needed to work with a social working on his behavior. I went crying to his Dr. and she thought daycare was full of hot air. Day care came back at me with "we see your child all day, your Dr. only sees him for a few minutes." So I went along and had the social worker watch him. She noticed he was hitting and pushing, but that it was not anything to be concerned with. Day care again said to me "the social worker only sees part of it" This got me angry because they were the ones that told me we had to do this. Finally the last straw came when day care told me my son needed play therapy. My husband and I went looking for a new day care, and found one that was much more accepting and willing to work with our son. The funny thing is, after we moved him, the hitting and pushing stopped. Again I am not saying change day cares, but that is what worked for us.

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