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Am I a careless mom?
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An_222369 posted:
We had been recently to a trip to Niagara. We stayed in good decent hotel. My mom and dad were staying in the room next to ours. My mom and I were packing some snacks for my daughter and putting in a bag in my room....I hadnt noticed that our room door was open. When my DH came to the room he yelled that I had kept the door open like that. Our daughter could have gone out of the room when my mom and I were busy...and that I am very careless. I said hes over reacting. And I started worrying after that. Am I wrong?
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crunk05177 responded:
Yes, something could have happened....and just thank god that nothing did happen. Take it as a learning experience. I bet you in the future you would make sure your more careful. He should not have reacted that way anyway and I am sorry he did. Mine would have done the same When DS1 was 3 months old, he rolled off the bed into the wall in the 5 seconds it took for me to put a tshirt on. I was upset obviously, he was fine and I can assure you, I never ever put him or DS2 on a bed alone again lol. It's ok....don't beat yourself up over it....
Me (27), DH (29), DS1 (4) and DS2 (1 - severe peanut allergy and possibly an egg allergy)
 
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VicsEandJ responded:
Why would your DH think that you are not allowed to be human and forget that the door was open? Seems odd to me- unelss there's more to it, I would think he was overreacting.
 
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sarahogan responded:
Every parent makes mistakes now and then and if we are fortunate that something major doesn't happen, we learn from them. He's is reacting out of fear, not to say that his fear is misplaced, but I'm sure he will make plenty of mistakes too.
The only way I would say that you are careless is if you do this kind of thing ALL the time, not just occasionally. You will learn from this and remember to be more careful next time.
 
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Treebell responded:
I don't think you're a careless mother. You were busy and happened to forget the door was open. It would have been more appropriate for DH to kindly remind you to keep the door closed. Yelling was not necessary at all.

My DH would have sarcastically called me the Mother of the Year, but that's just how he is - very sarcastic.
DD (11) and DD (5)
 
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momtotan replied to crunk05177's response:
"Yes, something could have happened".....can you explain? See this is what worries me...thats what even DH said.
 
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crunk05177 replied to momtotan's response:
Well I didn't mean to worry you when I said that. I am sorry. I mean, you never know....she "technically" could have ran out of the room....like I said, you never know and just thank god that nothing did happen. Everyone makes mistakes....even parents. I love that commercial for parentsconnect.com on nick jr...their motto is something like...."We're not perfect, we're parents."

Like in my example, I thought of the worst....my son could have had a concussion, broke his neck lol, I thought of EVERYTHING! But when I look back, I just thank god he is fine.
Me (27), DH (29), DS1 (4) and DS2 (1 - severe peanut allergy and an egg allergy)
 
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j9ween2 responded:
was the door wide open or was it closed but just didn't click shut?

mistakes happen. everyone is safe. know for next time to make sure the door clicks.
Janine (Tyler -6, Bella -3, Giana -10.5 months, born 8 weeks early)
 
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momtotan replied to crunk05177's response:
like you mean she could have gone out of the room and got lost?
U see, I dont remember very well. I think she was in the room while we were busy and she usually doesnt do such kind of things ( like run away without telling me but u never know )...and the door was half open..KWIM?
 
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phoenix31674 replied to momtotan's response:
He was probably thinking she could have gotten out of the room and then something happen to her outside the room. My DD is a little explorer so we always have to keep an eye on her. If she thinks you are getting ready to leave the hotel room or the house, she is there at the door revving to go. Most hotel doors have the automatic closures that she's just now able to open, so we really have to keep an eye on her or she's on her way to the elevators.

If yours isn't a little explorer, then your DH's reaction was a little over the top, but he is still just concerned. It's always hard to forget about the rare occasion of a child being snatched that the media publicizes like mad. Even though it's such a small percentage of kids, it gets a lot of exposure so some parents do get hung up worrying about kidnapping.

That said, he still shouldn't have yelled and I do think he owes you an apology for that and you should tell him that you will be more vigilant about hotel doors. as others have said, you are a parent, you aren't perfect. It could have just as easily been him who left the door ajar or did some other thing that leaves your daughter at very limited risk of something bad happening.
Me (36), DH (35), DD (3), DS (10/4/10) and a cat
 
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Mainemommy replied to phoenix31674's response:
Its entirely possible the girl opened it. but it was careless. People yell like that when they are scared . It also depends on where you are from orignally I have lived in Maine all my life now I live in a tiny rural town (315). I'm alot more worrisome when we even travel downstate or to MA. My kids are so used to their life being a certain way. I have even driven DD up to the door of the general store (lived in that town for 4 yrs and worked there for 3) and let her out with a list for dinner take out (DS was sleeping). At first the owner was surprised until he relaized it was her and that I had parked so close to the door the car door could've hit it not that she'd walked.
Steph 37 DH 42 DD 9 Asthma eczema and allergies DS 5 Eczema and milk allergy
 
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An_222370 replied to Mainemommy's response:
"Its entirely possible the girl opened it. but it was careless"...what do u mean? Like I was careless, right?
 
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HJK1127 responded:
Honestly I wouldn't worry so much about it. It was a mistake. You know it was a mistake. Even though DH yelled at you for it and called you careless (I agree that he was liklly yelling because it scared him that the door was accidentally left open), he knows it was a mistake too. Chalk it up to being human and lesson learned. I think you are overthinking whether or not you are careless. If you know it was a mistake, then you weren't being careless, you simply made a mistake. Likely no need to overthink the situation. Just learn from it and let it go.
 
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Mainemommy replied to An_222370's response:
It was careless if you left it open but not intentional Your DD could have opened it as well. Like I explained I live in a totally different environment that this. I thought originally you said Nigeria but I see you meant Niagara Falls
Steph 37 DH 42 DD 9 Asthma eczema and allergies DS 5 Eczema and milk allergy


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