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Parenthood: How has it changed your marriage?
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Haylen_WebMD_Staff posted:
I ran into a child-free couple this weekend. That started a conversation between my husband and I about how our marriage has changed since the baby was born 6 and a half years ago...

Sleep, sex, meals, finances, travel....How has your marriage changed?

For better and...other...

Haylen
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crunk05177 responded:
My husband and I met and dated on/off since September 1998 (I was only 15)....We got engaged December 2005...found out I was pregnant only a short 4 months later and married September 2006 and had DS1 December 2006. We never really got to enjoy our marriage or live together without kids.

I will say it has definitely put a strain on our relationship, finances, careers, sex, etc. For awhile we wouldn't have sex bc we were scared of getting pregnant again....or we are just too tired..

We fight like crazy because we are both so tired....being young parents, not too many of our friends are in the same situation as us.....my friends goes to bed at 10 on week nights and sleeps till noon on the weekends....really??? And has the balls to ask why I can't just take a nap....ugh lol....

However, I would not change it for the world! I love my husband to death and I love my kids even more! Well, we could use one of those money trees and life would be a little bit better haha
Me (27), DH (30), DS1 - Michael (4) and DS2 - Nathan (1 - severe peanut allergy and an egg allergy)
 
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sarahogan responded:
I wasn't supposed to be able to have children, so 5 years of our marriage was child free, and I really enjoyed it. We could do what ever we wanted when we wanted without worrying about a child.
After having my son, I was incredibly grateful to have a child that I tried to forget what it was like without children. My son was a very high needs infant. He was full term, yet only 4 pounds and he ate every hour and a half around the clock. My life turned upside down. I forgot what sleep was, I forgot to eat, and I had to take an overnight job in order for my husband and I to survive. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Then we moved back to my hometown and we started to get our lives back with help from my family.
Things are still different, we can't have sex wherever and whenever we want it, and it's much less than before he was born, but now that he's older and a little more self-reliant, I'm finding that I have more time, more sleep. Travel and finances are not so good though, but travel and finances weren't so good before hand, so that really hasn't changed much.
 
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
How has parenthood changed my marriage? As Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote, "Let me count the ways".

No more sleeping/snuggling in on weekends. Unfinished conversations when children are around. Get what you get vs gourmet meals. Kid friendly vacations vs exotic, romantic vacas. Tight budget, not much going into savings.

Marriage with a child much more stressful, but much more rewarding!

Elizabeth
 
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samijac responded:
Sadly, I don't have a success story to post. I am a single Mom due to the fact that my ex-husband just couldn't handle the responsibilities and pressures of parenthood. Of course, our lives changed drastically when we had kids. Lack of sleep, finances, sex, time, coherent thinking, etc all came to be too much for him and he "checked out".

He gave me the the 2 best presents in the world before he left though, so I have the life I didn't even know I wanted!
 
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crunk05177 replied to samijac's response:
He gave me the the 2 best presents in the world before he left though, so I have the life I didn't even know I wanted!

That was very sweet :)
Me (27), DH (30), DS1 - Michael (4) and DS2 - Nathan (1 - severe peanut allergy and an egg allergy)
 
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KC_94920 responded:
DH ad I were very career and fun focused before we met and when we married so by the time we had DD1 we were as ready as we'd ever get to become parents. That being said, it's not always perfect although I have to believe it's a similar experience for most 30 something couples who have 3 kids in 5 years.

We've traded late nights for early mornings, black tie events for pancake breakfasts, couples massages for dark circles and romantic vacations for family trips but it's all worth it, as each of you know. One day, our nest will be empty and I have a feeling despite being in our 50's we'll have no problem going back to feeling like college kids again...
 
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cinder44 responded:
We were together 10 years before we got married then married almost 2 years before we had the kids. We were definitely used to doing what we wanted.

We planned the pregnancy. Then the shocker we had twins!! Life def changed. Everything changed - sleep, sex, money, our life. It all revolves around them now. And trying to mold the best kids that we can & make them happy along with us, too.
At least we knew early so we were prepared then DH lost his job 2 months before we had the DC. Looking back I really don't know how we made ends meat but somehow we did. Now thankfully DH has a great job & we are working on getting out of debt. But man kids can be expensive!

DH is a great dad. He stayed home with the DC after I went back to work & he helped so much. We've cried(well me), rejoiced & worried all through it all.

We don't sleep past 8am & we plan a lot of things to make them happy - zoo trips, going to the bike trail, etc. Often things don't get done around the house but we are happy.

The first couple years were so hard & they still are hard but a different hard, more manageable b/c you can actually reason with them - almost. I wouldn't change anything except maybe a little more time for just me & DH.
Me, DH, DD(3), DS(3)


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