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Intro and friendships in kindergarten (long)
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moonnstarz posted:
Hi everyone. I'm new to the board but really need some advice. I have a 5 1/2 year old DS who is having some difficulties making friends in kindergarten. He was in the same daycare for almost 5 years and didn't have any issues with friendships. He had a best friend in pre-k and they had lots of playdates together. This friend lives 1/2 hour away and goes to a different school. Since my DS started in his new school he's had trouble with self confidence and friendships. He's a wonderful little boy with a huge caring heart so it's hard to see this happening. He has the most trouble in the before and afterschool programs. He has a few kids he interacts with in the before school program but no one afterschool. We've talked about having to interact with other kids in order to make friends but I think he purposefully keeps to himself. He has made friends in the actual school portion of the day but they never have playdates. I've asked the parents for playdates but I've been blown off. I don't know what to do. My DH and I are signing him up for Little League in the hopes that he can develop some friendships and we can get to know the parents. I'm hoping that is the key to the playdate dilemma.

Any thoughts? Help. I'm feeling awful for my little guy.

Emily
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steckie98 responded:
Hi Emily, welcome to the board. Wow, I could have written this post about my DS except he isn't in Kindergarten yet, only preschool. I am hoping others have some advice. We just moved him to a different daycare/preschool in the fall and he HATES it. He misses his friends and old teachers and keeps to himself, mainly because I think there are some aggressive mean boys in his new class. We are going to switch back to the old daycare, because he is just so unhappy with the new place, but I foresee this being a problem when he goes to Kindergarten in the fall. We will also be doing Little league in the summer..
Carrie(33), DH (37), DS(4 on 6/13/11), DD(9/14/11)
 
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VicsEandJ responded:
Hi Emily,
Welcome!
I don't have and advice because my DS is in the same daycare/preschool he's been in since he was 4 months old, but this is his last year, so I am interested to see what others suggest.

MY DS and at least one of his friends are already anxious over the fact that they won't all be together next year....

Vickie
 
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moonnstarz replied to VicsEandJ's response:
That was the case with my DS and his best friend last year. They had been in the same daycare since they were 6 months old. They were wonderful friends. I just wish that my DS would find someone to click with at his new school.
 
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ryanandleigh responded:
Do any of the kids from his class live in your neighborhood? Do you walk or drive him to school? DS went to preschool but none of the kids that he knew there are in his K class. We ended up meeting a few kids that walk to school in our neighborhood. Two of them are in his class and two of them are in another class but since we walk to school and I have been able to talk to the parents it has made playdate much easier. You might find out from him or his teacher who he likes to play with or who would be a good match and then contact that child's parents and set something up play date at a park where you and the other parent can also get to know each other. That happened with DS when he was 4 and in preschool. Once you get to know some parents it is much easier to set up play dates.
Leigh, Jacen (6), Alexa (3)
 
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iocasta responded:
Sorry no help here. I just wanted to welcome you.
 
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mrswhitecastle responded:
Welcome to the board!

I think that Little League is a good idea.

Does he enjoy playing by himself? Maybe by the time he is in the afterschool care, he just needs some downtime to play by himself.
Emily (6) Elizabeth (4)
 
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sarah0323 responded:
Welcome!!
I'm not help but wanted to welcome you.
Me 33, DD - O 12, DS1 -J 7, DS2 - Cr 6, DS3 - Co 4, DD2 - E (11/10)
 
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moonnstarz replied to ryanandleigh's response:
No, there are no other elementary aged children on our street. They're all middle school and high school aged. I drive him to a before school program. No real opportunity to meet the parents there. I did reach out to three of the parents of the children he does play with in school. Two of them blew me off completely and the third just had a newborn baby. I'm hoping to meet the parents through activities but it is a tough school to break into. I'm a working mom and I just don't have the time to work in the PTA or be a classroom mom. Most of the parents seem to be stay at home moms. I'm going to just have to find the time, I think.
 
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moonnstarz responded:
Thanks for all the welcomes. It's nice to be here.

Emily
 
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neeru_pdx replied to moonnstarz's response:
I would ask the teachers/supervisors if they have any thoughts. Sometimes they can tell you which parents would be more approachable. Also they may know which children may get along better with your little guy (and that may be different from the ones you know about so far). At this stage you can still sort of chose your son's friends by inviting those families over more.
I had good luck with asking our preschool teacher about the best choices for playmates and which parents might be more eager/willing to arrange play dates. I'm not sure about K yet, but I would think the teachers would be willing to give it some thought for you.
Oh, we love our little ones so much, it is so hard to see them hurt
 
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neeru_pdx responded:
Also, if you can do any favors for the other moms, that might be a good start. For example, offering to give their child a ride, car pool, hosting their child on a school holiday for a few hours, etc. Or if you are putting your child in little league, swimming, or any other classes, let the moms of the potential play mates know which classes/leagues or off school day camps at community centers etc , and when the sign up is. Or if you see a good deal on kids clothes, or science camps, or play land entrances etc, pass on the info to the parents of the children you'd like your son to get to know.
good luck.


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