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    Selective Mutism
    sarah0323 posted:
    I really want to say why is it so important to talk?!?! Two of the boys are/were speech delayed. Cris has now gone from speech delayed to selective mutism. I just want to cry. I took him in the morning because it is painful for him to talk in any social setting. He has always been a shy child but this is past the point of just being shy. I know this isn't the end of the world but really why is it so hard to talk???

    So now we are going to be reenforcing when he does talk and he will be continuing therapy.

    Do any of your children have selcetive mutism?
    Me 33, DD - O 12, DS1 -J 7, DS2 - Cr 6, DS3 - Co 4, DD2 - E (11/10)
    seeit2 responded:
    I feel your pain. Lily was never officially diagnosed but her speech therapist sat me down when she was three and talked about the possibility of a future diagnosis. You are right, it is more anxiety-based than simple shyness. It was (is still) really painful to watch her struggle so much in social situations. She is much better now but still completely silent among people she is not comfortable with.

    Both my kids are in speech therapy and probably will be for a long time. They say it runs in families - I can totally see that.
    Esmerelda Supercalifragilistic (41) DD (5) DS (2) Just eat it, will ya
    sarah0323 replied to seeit2's response:
    He doesn't talk at school at all. He already has an IEP. I am going to be meeting with a Student Intervention Team (SIT) next week to try to develop a plan to get him through K.

    Social settings are totally his undoing. He would be a hermit if we would let him. It is so painful to watch him in a social setting. He won't say a word. If anyone asks him anything he will just put his head down and stare at the floor.

    We have started giving him M&M's if he will answer a question when asked. So far not much difference but we have to start somewhere.

    I wish the speech therapist would have said something to me. I finally took him in to see a therapist b/c I was more afraid for his social skills. If I had know that this would have been a possibility I would have......actually I don't know what I would have done but I would have loved if I had gotten a little warning that this could happen.
    Me 33, DD - O 12, DS1 -J 7, DS2 - Cr 6, DS3 - Co 4, DD2 - E (11/10)
    seeit2 replied to sarah0323's response:
    You did the right thing, though, and on your own, which is commendable. Believe it or not there is a lot on Youtube about it - from both news orgs and people who have lived with it.

    Lily did not talk to her teacher in preK until January - the year before that (she started the previous January) she never spoke once. So I know what you mean. When she's uncomfortable she either hides her head or puts her fists over her mouth and shakes her head - and looks like she will burst into tears. When I try to answer for her I get comments about how I enable her shyness - people don't understand that standing there staring at her will get them nowhere and will further traumatize her. I know I posted once that I bribed her with a dollar to order her own apple juice when we were at McDonald's once - so bribery does work! We also taught her a few simple jokes to memorize and practice - this helped her break the ice with people like her swim teacher. And she was basically guaranteed a positive response with a joke.

    In school now Lily can be chatty and happy, because she is comfortable and is, I believe, slowly growing out of the worst of it. I think some of it had to do with her inability to speak clearly enough for others to understand her - the two went hand in hand for her. But I went in there warning them before school started, I really had no idea which way things were going to go. I'm glad you are getting your DS some therapy.
    Esmerelda Supercalifragilistic (41) DD (5) DS (2) Just eat it, will ya
    iocasta responded:
    Our neighbor's son, who will be 4 in June, is selectively mute. It has been frustrating path for them. He was asked to leave the private school he and his sister, who is Levi's age, had been attending because of his inability to communicate. He is in a program better suited for him but with children with other learning/social issues, which brings its own problems as he is a bright kid who just doesn't want to talk. He was always very social but now is becoming withdrawn because of it.

    Hopefully, you guys can find the right path to getting him to talk. ((((HUGS))))
    peachyisthelife responded:
    Wow, I had never really heard of "selective mutism" but it almost sounds like my 3yo could have it. I'm going to go research it, thanks for posting this. I can feel your pain, I hope your little boy can overcome this.
    Cathryn~~~Jared 5yo~Brooke 3yo~Leah 1yo
    GrandmaDDC replied to peachyisthelife's response:
    I had never heard of selective mutism either but my husband and I are raising our 4yr. old granddaughter. We just had her tested and she is diagnosed with selective mutism. We will be starting therapy, and hopefully she will overcome the worse of this and be ready when she starts kindergarten! She has such a sweet personality and it is painful to see her become anxious when she gets around other people. I have read that selective mutism often runs in families. Her mother has anxiety disorders. Just hope for a good outcome for our sweetie!
    seeit2 replied to GrandmaDDC's response:
    Yes, good luck!
    Esmerelda Supercalifragilistic (42) DD (6) DS (3) Just eat it, will ya
    sarah0323 replied to GrandmaDDC's response:
    It does get better. Cris is still quiet but says more than he did a year ago. He has more going on than selective mutism. It is painful to watch. I stood with him one day for 2 hours just so he would say his name to the receptionist to check himself in. That was the longest day.

    Good Luck!!!
    Me 33, DD - O 13, DS1 -J 8, DS2 - Cr 6, DS3 - Co 5, DD2 - E (11/10)

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