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    Send Him To School This Year Or Wait
    lbcash posted:
    Ok I need advice on something, and I don't know if this is just the trend in our area or if it's everywhere. My son will not turn 5 until 6/26 and of course if your child is 5 before 10/1 they can go to kindergarten. Absolutely every teacher that I know ( and I know a lot in our small community) including my Uncle who is the High School Principle and my Aunt who is a middle school teacher has told me to hold him back a year. He is academically ready, but all of the teachers say that boys especially are not ready on a maturity level. He is small physcially as well, but he really wants to go. My birthday is 10/1 and my mom sent me to school at 4 years old. I was 17 and in college for 3 months and I did fine. I have pre-registered him with the option to still hold him back. Even the Family Health Resource Center manager that did his Dial 3 Assessment suggested to hold him back. I guess I probably will, but I wanted to hear some other opinions. Thanks!!!
    VicsEandJ responded:
    My sons' bday is 7/6 and he is going to kidnergarten in the fall.

    I will say upfront that I also think everyone is nuts with holding kids back just because.

    My son has been in daycare/preschool since he was 4 months old- he can handle being away from home all day. He ahs good days and bad days- so does everyone. I would never hold a child back unless I thought they coudln't handle it acadamically. Everyone is scared that there kid wil be the youngest and smallest- someone has to be. Also, since when is the youngets and smallest the least smart and wost behaved- its not the case in DS's preschool class.

    There are 24 kids in DS's class- about 15 are boys and I believe every one fo them are starting kindergarten next year. THe director even talked to a family with a fall birthday and told the parentsthat he didn't need to wait.
    In NYC you can go kidnergarten based upon calendar year. My DD is born at the end of December and she will be going to K in September 2013.

    Boys are alwys going to be generally less mature than girls of the same age- it's just a fact of life- holding boys back isn't going to change it.

    I realy don't see why people are afraid to send 4 and 5 year olds to K anymore- it seems like everyone just does what everyone else does. 10 years ago this was unheard of. And the kids who wentt to school at 4 or 5 were not universally doomed to failure.
    What's the worst that can happen, your child has to repeat kindergartenn- it doesn't make you any further behind than if you hold them out a year- so the whole thing is nonsensical to me.

    There was a recent 60 minutes piece on this :

    Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I think it's absurd that so many take it as a given that a child born in JUNE needs to wait.

    Good luck with your decision.
    lbcash replied to VicsEandJ's response:
    Thank you for your response! And thank you for the link as well. Even though I am a 'girl', I keep relating him to my experience of starting school at an even younger age. I did fine. I was in the top of the class and I even graduated college, lol. Like I said, I think it's a trend and I'm the odd ball that doesn't want to follow it (in our community anyway). Looking forward to more opinions.

    kc_94920 responded:
    I'm not sure where you live but I do think that having late summer and fall birthday babies wait for Kindergarten is becoming pretty common these days, especially if your state has a fall cut-off date instead of basing enrollment on the calendar year of birth.

    The previous poster and I have completely different views on this subject but also have completely different environments, backgrounds, schools and state laws that, at least on my end, have strongly influenced my position. I believe our state cut-off is now 10/1 (it was 12/1 when our first was eligible for K) but our preschool and the private school we ultimately ended up at use 7/30 as the cut-off. My oldest DD is a late September baby and while I could have sent her to public K before turning 5, I opted to give her a year of pre-k. It was a great decision for her and given that 11 out of the 15 girls in her class have birthdays before December 1st obviously we were not the only ones who felt this way.

    In the end, there's no right or wrong answer. You just have to do what is best for your son going forward. I know for me, it was important to do whatever I could to give her the best start possible based on where she would go to school and who her peers would be.
    KC~ Mady (9) Logan (7) and Coco (4)
    Haylen_WebMD_Staff replied to lbcash's response:
    I have an October birthday - although I was reading at 4 and "ready for school", I wish my parents would have waited a year.

    However, it is for sure a personal decision and different from child to child. Good luck to you and your kid-o!

    baby1at35 replied to Haylen_WebMD_Staff's response:
    I will say that I have a May 19th son in 1st grade now.
    Everyone told me he was ready and I think he was. But emotionally it has been a challenge in 1st grade. He is doing fine now.
    But I will say this : Expectations are much higher than when we were in school. Kindergarten is way more academic than I ever expected. And completely more academic than I ever had. Having a son in kindergarten last year and this year. This year they are pushed even harder than last year.
    Kids are expected to be more mature than honestly I think we need to have them.
    So with all that being said the decision to hold back varies from kid to kid. I know this year in Tre's class a couple parents tried but the kids simply weren't ready and they pulled them out putting them back into a preschool full time.
    School is different than when we were there and expecations are high due to testing requirements.
    You know your child and as one preschool teacher said you will never regret holding them back but you may regret sending them.
    Good luck with your decision!
    Me (42) 2 busy boys 6 yrs and 5 yrs
    mrswhitecastle responded:
    Does everyone that's telling you to wait another year know your son personally? Or, are they basing their advice solely on his birthday? If they know your son, maybe they can see that he really needs to wait another year before he is ready for Kindergarten.

    I agree completely with Sandra -- Kindergarten now is VASTLY different then Kindergarten was when we were kids. In Kindergarten know, they are expected to work independently, they actually learn things, and there is even homework every night.

    If every single teacher that knows your son thinks he should wait another year, I would probably listen to their advice.
    Emily (6) Elizabeth (5)
    lbcash replied to mrswhitecastle's response:
    Thanks everyone for your replies. I know that the decision is mine and my husbands alone, but I wanted to hear some other perspectives.

    MrsWhiteCastle everyone is giving me this advice based on my sons age alone. They are actually giving this advice to everyone. Nearly everyone at the daycare my son goes to waits an extra year, they wait until they are six. But the majority of the parents at the daycare are teachers and they say that all children should be held back and not start until they are six years old. They actually say that the biggest difference is in Junior High years or puberty years. My son is actually the top of his class at the daycare and the daycare teachers say that they believe he would do great in school now. It's just the actual school teachers are telling me different. The family resource center director doesn't have kids but her friend has five boys and the one boy that she held back a year is in the top of his class. So that is what she is basing her recommendation on.

    My aunt is a middle school/junior high teacher and she says that once boys reach that age that it is unreal the difference in maturity levels of the boys that started on time and the boys that were held back (but come on really?). And then my sons best friends parents are teachers and there son is also top of the daycare class. But, they say it doesn't matter they will not let any of there kids begin school until they are 6 years old.

    A lot of our recommendations from school teachers were recommended for problems occuring down the road, not in kindergarten. Crazy that one year seems to be that big of a deal, but I want to do what's best and you have all helped me to see everything at different angles. Hopefully this will make our decision a little easier! Thank You!!
    Haylen_WebMD_Staff replied to lbcash's response:
    You are right on about the expectations of school. We spent almost 2 not-fun-at-all-hours doing homework last night (a Flat Stanley book report, 2 math pages and studying for a spelling test), I'll say that my daughter would have really struggled with this a year ago.

    I'm glad the decision was made for me by her due date!

    ryanandleigh responded:
    Haven't read the other responses but wanted to let you know that we did this with DS. He turned 5 in May but we sent him to a Gift of Time pre-K program that was for "young 5s". He too was academically ready but his social maturity was lacking. His preschool teacher is the one who suggested it and I had never considered it until she said something. Then we spoke to friends and teachers and found that many kids - especially boys - with summer birthdays are held back. Here in Texas they start doing statewide tests in 3rd grade and most of the people we spoke to said that this is where the kids would struggle.

    I too started K at the age of 4. Missed the deadline of 9/1 but my mom had me tested and started early. I too graduated HS at 17 and started college at 17. I did fine academically but looking back, I think I would have done better socially if I had that extra year. That said school today is much harder than it was when I went to school. DS is 6 and in K right now and they do so much more in school then we ever did. I see a few other boys in his class who had summer birthdays who are struggling. While talking to one parent, she said she hadn't even thought to hold him back but now she is thinking about having him repeat Kindergarten. I figured it would be easier to hold DS back before he started elementary rather than have him repeat a grade later. (My father-in-law with a summer birthday ended up repeating the 3rd grade.)

    Every child is different. DS is obviously a boy and he is the first born and I think those factors play a part in why it helped holding him back. I do not regret holding him back and he is excelling in school. I have spoke to many parents and none of them that held their child back have regretted it. I have spoken to several parents who do wish they had held their child back. Only you know your child and can decide what is best for him...
    Leigh, Jacen (6), Alexa (3)

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