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Mom2Emma23 posted:
My 5 yr old daughter is high maintenance most of the time and almost always has been although she was a great infant. She listens to my husband well but does not like listening to me one bit. I usually go to my husband if she won't do what i ask and that gets her moving. She has a ton of energy. But she will sit and read, sit and color, she does "school work" each day with my grandma. She is extremely smart. She doesn't have a lot of experience with other kids, she is the only young one in our entire family and she is home with my grandma each day while we work. I think this has lead her to the mentality that the attention should always be on her, since it always has been.
My husband thinks she has ADD or ADHD and expressed to me that he wants to get her tested. I don't. I think it is too soon to really know and I would hate for her to be misdiagnosed. I know there has been a discussion on ADD recently but I wanted to know some opinions. Wait until after her first yr of school ? (coming in August) I really really believe school will mature her a bit and settle her down. To me she is just a ball of energy who has been spoiled with attention her whole life being the only kid. The not listening to me is very frustrating, but don't most kids have a problem listening to their parents? I think my husband is over reacting.
Sarah, Dh, Emma (5), Delilah (born still at 21 weeks) March 5 2012
momtotan responded:
I understand what you are saying. My 5 yr old DD is an only child and she is used to getting all the attention from me. my DH works FT, sometimes overtime. She was very shy to begin with but her preschool has helped her open up. She is still working on it but shes getting there. She is also very sensitive and emotional which we are still working on. She likes to make friends but gets fixated on just one and when her friend plays with some one else my DD gets upset and hurt. My DD is smart academically but not so good at social skills. I dont blame her coz I myself dont socialize much. I am very reserved and a quiet person. I have anxiety and OCD issues too, so doesnt help me or my DD either. I sometimes get very anxious over small stuff ( I have already been labelled as the crazy one here), yell at my DD then feel very bad abt it.

I am planning to have another baby only becoz my DD wants and needs a sibling...In the long term she will benefit from it. I am just not ready- physically or emotionally. but DH insists we have another one. I am a SAHM and I just feel depressed.

I think its too soon to think abt ADD. Just give your DD some time.
VicsEandJ responded:
I don't know much about ADD or ADHD but my nephew was a lot like you describe your daughter when he was little. He spent most of his time with adults and didn't relate well with kids his own age becuse he was rarely around them ( this was 20 years ago.) He really thought of himself as more like an adult. Once he got to school into kindergarten he gradually adjusted to the routine and the kids.

If your daughter has never been in a structured environment with other kids, I would wait until she has been a school a while before getting her diagnosed to see if she really has a problem. I'm sure that if the teachers at school think that there is something that needs immediate attention, they will let you know.

IMO, the fact that she doesn't listen to you, especially since she listens to DH, is not a sign of anything out of the norm in and of itself. What does your grandma think? Does DD listen to her? If your grandma totally lax with discipline?

Why does your DH think that DD is not just a typical 5 year old? Has he been around a lot of kids? If not, I think he should spend more time with a few of them first.
Mom2Emma23 replied to VicsEandJ's response:
Thank you both.

My grandma will tell me each day if there was a problem and most days, there is not and the report is - Emma was very good today. When she sees my daughter act out in front of us its always "She only acts like this around you !" She is not lax with discpline either and has always kept her on a routine, school work, walk, play time, nap time, reading time etc. Its just that its always been just Emma and my grandma at home alone so I think her social skills are lacking.
My DH has always said he believes HE has ADD. He just self diagnoses himself, he has never been diagnosed. He and my daughter are very similar as they are both talkative and outgoing so I think that is why he thinks this.
He has agreed to give her until the kindergarten year is over. I feel tension between us brewing though, as I know HE has already diagnosed her and I sure hope he doesn't start nit picking at her behavior!
Sarah, Dh, Emma (5), Delilah (born still at 21 weeks) March 5 2012
VicsEandJ replied to Mom2Emma23's response:
Maybe getting him some literature about ADD will help him- though it's not without risk!

Good luck!

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