Parenting: 4 & 5-Year-Olds Community

Great news. I hear you on the testing. Chicago is in the same boat. What is even more crazy is all of the test prep places that have popped up to help 4 yr olds test for the gifted programs. I'm glad we dodged that issue.

We use the CTA bus to get Levi to school. His school isn't terribly close nor very far, it is about 3 miles away bus stop to bus stop. We have about 1/4 to 1/2 mile walk to his stop and about the same walk from where the bus drops us off to his school. DH takes Levi in the morning and I pick him up. This way we share the burden without doubling up on it. DH started getting up a half hour earlier (4:30) so that he could get his reading (Greek or Latin), writing (poetry or his recent translation of a Greek tragedy) and work out in like he has done for years and years. Next year it will be more difficult. Levi's school day is going to start 45 minutes earlier due to an extend summer because the school is expanding with a new building and renovation of the existing structure. I have a feeling I will be helping out with drop off more though DH does love that one one one time with Levi so we will see.

Yeah, we tested James, but we did not do any test prep coruses because that is comepltely ridiculous to me. If your child can't do well on their own, what are you going to do when they get into the class- get extensive tutoring for a kjindergartener- of course, in NYC, some people will do that, but we woudln't. Luckily, James was in a good mood on test day ( the biggest factor for a 4 year old, IMO, and why its nuts to do at that age) and has a dorky love of school and learning like his mom.

The private schools here are worse in my opinion. I'd rather have my 4 year old sit for a test than to go and be picked over and dissected by a bunch of snooty people based on nothing other than some person's opinion (based upon excalty what yoiu can imagine) of whether or not your child and family are worthy of their school, which often is more about money or whatever they are looking for rather than anything real about you. Plus a lot of them use testing that is not much different than that used for gifted and talented, so yuou're not really dodging that either.

DH & I work together and commute together anyway, so most days we'll do pick-up and drop-off together. It's what we do now and DD is right near home. We don't have to leave any earlier and won't get home in later. I just hope next winter is not super-snowy!!

We went through the absurd private school application process. I guess it's pick your poison. It was like applying for college with the applications and essays. Of course, there were the parent interviews, play date assessments and some one-on-one assessments at 2 1/2 years old, which is really crazy. But we did it. Levi would not have had much chance in getting into CPS's elite programs due to their other non-academic criteria. It wasn't a risk we were willing to take and his default school wasn't an option in our minds. Academics are just way too important in our home. I am glad for our choice, even though we are paying an absurd amount for his education. Of course, it is a bargain compared to NYC's prices, about half. The school's academic philosophy suits us, plus they don't teach for a test. This is a bit of problem because our kids don't know how to take standardized tests very well. So in like 5th or 6th grade, they have a class that works on it to get them prepared to take the high school standardized test.

Congrats Vics!!! And to James as well!

New York starts standardized tests in 3rd grade.....it's insane....and of course they teach to the test lol

Steph- I ridicule the private school process but really how is it differnt than job hunting or applying to college? It's nuts for a 5 year old, but really, in a way, it's just exposing them to what they will ultimately have to face, the judgement of others, albeit at way too young of an age. But the same can be said of G&T testing!

I'm glad it's done, at least my first round. I get a 4 month break until the whole thing starts again with Ella.

It makes me sad though that kids have to jump through such hoops for school. I may be old fashioned and a dreamer but it's comepletely absurd to me that in a country as wealthy as this, a child cannot go to their neighborhood school and get a great education that both prepares them for doing well on standardized tests (they are a fact of life) and for doing well in life.

Near me there are a lot of 'progressive' public schools. DH & I totally rejected them becuse they lack real stucture. IMO they are not adequately preparing kids for their future in such a way that will allow them to have as many choices down the line as possible. Academics are very important in our home too, and it's not something I'm willing to roll the dice with. I think kids can be whatever they choose but need to be taught the basics which is not being done and it's a shame.

Crunk- I have a co-worker with a child in middle school. Although standardize testing starts inthe 3rd grade, 4th grade is the most important year for testing since those are the scores used in deciding on middle schools starting with the 6th grade. It's all nuts to me. Parnets of friends of my kids have said that it was easier applying to college than going through the NYC public middle school proces!

I think that so much time gets devoted to test prep when it's time for standrardized testing because the kids aren't being taught what they need to know in the normal course of school. Some schools in NYC use different ways to teach math, and the result is that a lot of kids don't learn multiplication tables, so the parents have to get tutors to teach the kids something so basic to learning how to multply.

Sorry this post is so long, but the state of education and what I percieve as most people's nonchalant attitudes towards it drives me nuts!!!

Crazy process...
Congrats to you guys though!

Ours is not near the process y'all go through ..they don't even test.
However I also learned that you have to research the schools as each public school seems to be quite different in philospophy and resources.
The other part about testing. The school we went to this year did not meet standards for the 3rd year in a row. We got a letter and what they do not say is that they lose funding because of it. They lost a teacher for each grade as well as the aides. Makes sense huh as kids are struggling to take away funding right? *insert huge sarcasm*.... I also preface with the school faces trouble with parent support. (half the parents care and the other half have lots of issues from what I can see).
60% of the school is on free lunch. So they do not have the economic means to really support their kids like they would want to. It is truly sad.
And they keep adding kids with no limit ! It is 250 students over what the school was built for with less staff and bad testing results. Really? This is leaving "no child left behind? Not really.
*sorry on my tagent about schools ....
And the whole teach to test thing is sooooo true. Even in kindergarten and our Kindergarten teacher expressed to me several times how she really does not like teaching this way but has no choice.
So I look at the new school we are going to. Great testing results (the highest in my area), huge parental support (terrific PTA), and to be honest in a more wealthy part of the city (hence it is smaller as more parents send theirs to private school but the school still gets those tax dollars from their area. They have more staff than our neighborhood school and 300 less students. Crazy huh?
So even those our city is not near the size of Chicago or NYC it is still a process to figure out the schools you will try and get into.
Oh and now that we are in this school we feed into a great middle school (I am so happy as the other middle school we were assigned to is horrible).
I went to a rural school we had no choices which wasn't good either. I had my share of horrible teachers. I honestly do not know how I did so well on my college entrance exams and actually did well in college. Natural smarts I guess hahah!
So I guess what I am saying is we try the best for our kids with schools and supplement what they do not get at home.
We do not have enough science, history, social studies so I supplement with summer camps, at home activities. And of course PE !
Sorry I rambled but this school thing is a passion of mine and I have been very vocal about it. To the school and I recently wrote a letter to congress

I don't really know how the city school system works to be honest. My sister teaches in Manhattan and her school is pre-k to 8th grade. However, I do know they have specialty schools. I don't know....Long Island schools are more basic....you live in that district, you go to that school.....unless youre parents decide to send you to private school....

It is sad but I put as much blame on the parents. So many don't seem to care about academics or helping their children learn. They think simply by sending their children to school is enough. Levi reads and does math at a 2nd grade level. Partly because of his good school but mostly because we work on those skills at home. Levi is a bright kid, clearly ahead of the curve, but not totally wow you kind of bright. He can do this because we capitalize on his ability. We don't do stupid rote stuff, we just work this stuff into our daily routine. Like yesterday, he figured 10 people could count to a googleplex if each one started when they were first born and did so sequentially after each one died. We did the math using the number of seconds a person on average lived. Then we took the population of the planet and did the same. He learn that even if the whole planet was to do this it would fall far short of a googleplex.

I don't think that standardized tests are necessary in elementary or even middle school, except for high school enterance exams like the one Levi will have to take. If his school went up to 12th grade, we could have avoided that one as well.

That's great news Vic! I kid you not, my life actually got better once we decided upon our school and I was able to relax a bit rather than worry about thier overall elementary education. We opted to go private at a K-8 because I was so aginst the testing and the lack of developmental learning I saw happening at the various CA public schools I worked at during my Masters program.

It will cost us three small fortunes but I will never complain. My kids love their school, are learning from the best of the best and most importantly will spend their days in a nurturing environment that stimulates their mind, encourages their creativity and will equip them with the ability to academically and socially succede going into high school (and beyond).

I like you tangent!
They do the same thing here with schools that are not meeting standards. Every year our dumb mayor closes a bunch of 'failing'schools- it creates turmoil and chaos for everyone and nothing positive comes of it in my opinion. ALl they do is open 'new schools inthe same location.

To me, school ahs become about money= kids whose aprents have money get to tkae advantage of opportunities taht kids whose parents don't have money doi not.
Frankly I think it is disgusting!

People think that parents don't care abotu their childs' education if they are nto at the school constnatly- but that is a luxury to many. If you work multiple jobs, with low pay and no pa time off- when do you have time to go to anythign at your kids school- there are so many days off from school that parnets have to take time off for, a lot cannot realistically do it-it's sad to think that some people have to choose between keeping a roof over thier childs head and clothes ontheir abck and foord ontheir plate and really tkaing an interest intheir child's schooling, but many have no choice.

There is nothign abotu the educational sysytem that is designed to be of benefit to workign families!

The sad state fo the world should be everyone's passion!

I agree the working poor get the short end of the stick on many things but that doesn't mean they can't (don't) take interest in their children's education. The fact of the matter we have huge swaths of children, mostly inner city children from economically depressed homes, who aren't reaching the bare minimum and that bar is already set way low. There is only so much a dollar can do. I agree that we could stand/need to spend a few more dollars on these children. I'm sure you saw the Sunday NYTimes' article on the public privates in NYC. We have them here in Chicago. These schools are successful not only because of all of the money parents pump into them to make up school budget shortfalls but because of parental involvement inside and outside the school. There is a school model here in Chicago, where in order for your child to attend parents must participate inside and outside of the school. This school is basically made up of working poor families and it is succeeding. Sure in an ideal world we would have a system where there is a lot more equality. Parents who want their children to succeed find a way to help their children succeed and some children find a way despite their parents' lack of involvement.

I really see that as a way of passing the buck. Sure parents, SHOULD be involved, but what if they aren't? What if all they think they need to do is send their children to school? Why should the child not get a good education anyway?

This country has more than enough money and resources to adequately education ALL of it's children- but it doesn't, for nonsensical reasons that people with money blindly support by blaming parents who are not involved and I think it's disgusting.

Education is a vital key to success in life, particularly for children who have nothing else to fall back on, i.e. mommy and daddy's money and connections or even time and attention. NO PARENT should have to spend tons of time or money fundraising for basics that should be provided in school- that is not about being interested or active in your child's education. I think it's true whether or not a child goes to public or private school. It's just another way to divide and conquer and peole readily fall for it, thinging it makes them a good parent. My mother was always involved in my education but I cannot remember one day where she spent time in school with me during a regular school day. She went to every program, event and a lot of school trips, etc, but was never there hovering over my class and certainly not on a regular basis. SHe didn't have to paint the walls or bring in toilet paper on any of the other RIDICULOUS things they expect parents to do nowadays.

If people were really doing the right thing for their kids, they would demand more accountability for the state of education in this country from their elected officials and hold them accountable for their failures, not compare, contrast and blame other parents for it.

People with money jump on the parents need to do more bandwagon by believing that having the state invest more in schools and education will cost them more by making them pay more taxes, etc., when that is not the truth. This country has more than enough money to properly educate every child, those in charge just choose not to because 'blame the poor' works so well as a way out of fixing any problems. No parent should have to "pump money" into their child's school, but people who have money think that's makes them better than those who don't.

The schools are in the state of affairs that they are precisely because so many parents don't care. If more parents cared, there would be greater accountability. There isn't some hidden agenda to make the public schools disfunctional so as to keep certain groups subugated. It is so easy to blame the man. When I say involved I don't mean putting in face time at the school or giving money, I'm talking much more fundamentals here like what your mother did or my mother. If parents aren't interested, their children won't be and these children will not succeed. This occurs at all socio-economic levels, some more so than others. All the money in the world will not change this. Now it is a sad state of affairs that teachers need to beg for basic supplies or tools that are necessary for children to learn and that should be corrected. The biggest problem is that schools are generally funded through property taxes, so richer communities have better schools. This system should change. The playing field should be leveled in that respect. Nevertheless, schools where parents treat them as valued members of the community, and not purely an institution providing some basic service, will be more successful. Moreover, we don't send Levi to private school because we believe that we are better. Anymore than you by sending your son to a gifted and talented program over the standard elementary school. We both want the best education possible for our children because we care about their education and that more than anything is why our children will succeed.