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Anon_5912 posted:
Hi All,

I'm in need of some serious advice. My now 4 year old girl has slept on our bed since she was about 10 months old. we have tried several things to make her sleep on her own bed, talked to her, mosnter spray, rewards if she would sleep on it all night, etc.
So last night we made her sleep on her bed, we talked to her, she cried, we raised our voice at her, she cried some more, we even gave her a spank, she keep crying to no end. My husband ended up lying down with her until she fall sleep, later she came over to our bed and I took her back and lied down with her for awhile. I feel pretty bad last night to the point I was crying because i know its our own fault she is having such trouble and i dont want her to fear bed time because we will make her stay in her room despited her crying and screaming.
So, please if anybody has a suggestion, let me know. Do you think that letting her cry and even a spank (obviously nothing that would hurt her, i hate doing that anyway) but do you think that would at some point make her understand? or are we completetly wrong? I dont want to create other issues for her either, but honestly she is just too big to sleep with us anymore. Anybody went through a similar situation?

iocasta responded:
First of all, I think it is wrong to spank her in this situation. For nearly four years this has been okay with you and now you are changing the rules. Moreover, you are likely spanking out of your own frustration which is never good. It is going to take time to get her to sleep in her own bed. You need to formulate a plan and stick to it. You need to discuss it with her every day several times a day until you have succeeded. I would suggest talking to your pedi as how to create and execute your sleep plan. This isn't going to be easy and will likely take several months, so you need to be mentally prepared for this.
seeit2 responded:
Why doesn't she want to move out? Is she scared to sleep alone, or is something wrong with her bed or bedroom, is she too hot or cold otherwise...have you talked it over with her?

Could you move her out slowly? Like, maybe have her sleep on the floor next to the bed, then near the door, then move on down the hallway until she is in her own room. Or let her pick a day on the calendar and count them down one by one. I agree that it will take time - any way you can involve her and give her some control in the transition will probably help a lot.
Esmerelda Supercalifragilistic (41) DD (5) DS (2) Just eat it, will ya

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