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Less yelling, more consequences
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mrswhitecastle posted:
I think I need to press my parenting 'reset' button. I've gotten into the bad habit of yelling, without any consequences for bad behavior. The girls are taking advantage of this, and life is not as pleasant as it should be around here lately. I can't believe the sassy attitudes I've been getting lately. Is that a 'normal' part of their ages now?

A few years ago, I bought a book about parenting the strong willed child. I think I need to dig it out and re-read it for a refresher course.
Emily (7) Elizabeth (6)
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baby1at35 responded:
Oh yes we have sass around here too.
I have found their incentive for good behavior is video game time. Seriously they will do anything for that box !
I use that to my advantage.
I have also had a very serious talk about talking nice to us. The goal of our home is a peaceful , safe environment. I also gave them tools if they give upset..deep breaths, time alone in their room to relax ect. That has helped too and I respect their space to get themselves "in check".
And yes I have been known to yell (which I hate !)
But things have been much better. I notice I yell more if I am not organized, rushing ect. So I have plans in place to keep the peace.
Me (43) 2 busy boys 7 yrs and 6 yrs
 
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crunk05177 responded:
I think we may be the same person right now!! I have that book too and I find it has helped. I also found getting more sleep in for myself and making sure my kids get to bed earlier help A LOT! I have actually been seeing a therapist since the summer and I find my moods are more controllable. My mom used to praise how I never yelled at my kids....hahahahaha yeah that has done a total turnaround lol.
Me (29), DH (31), DS1 - Michael (6) and DS2 - Nathan (3 - severe peanut allergy and an egg allergy)
 
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laney0705 responded:
DH and I had serious conversation the other night about this. Our parenting has been slipping lately. We've been yelling alot more and saying no constantly, and we wonder why our kids are always telling us no when we ask them to do stuff.

We are really working on using alternative words instead of no. Plus we need to stick to what we say. DH is the worst, he keeps saying "I'm gonna do XYZ" if you don't behave and he never follows through.

The hardest part is the listening. DS has to be told something 6 or 7 times before he listens and by the time it gets to that point we are yelling.
Me(43)DH(40)DS(6)DD(3)
 
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seeit2 responded:
Yep, I have been yelling a lot lately too. I was not raised by yellers but man can I do it when I am pushed to the edge. I have been trying to use more humor with my kids - one night I told them if they did not stop bickering I was going to have a cow, and they thought that was funny (I didn't at the time lol) so now when I'm getting mad I ask if they hear moo-ing and they laugh and get the point. I also am trying to catch them being good, which for my kids is sooo effective but really hard to do when you have 25 other things going on all the time. My DS is in full tantrum phase and he is on my last nerve...
Esmerelda Supercalifragilistic (41) DD (5) DS (2) Just eat it, will ya
 
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miob replied to laney0705's response:
I am so there! The most common phrase around my house lately is 'Why can't you do something the first time I tell you to do it?!?!?!'.
 
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seeit2 responded:
The sassy is driving me crazy too. DD hears such awful things from the kids at school and then comes home and repeats it all to her little brother - not cool. Today I got so tired of it I told her if I heard it once more then she got no TV tomorrow. So of course there is no TV for her tomorrow. It will be a long day.
Esmerelda Supercalifragilistic (41) DD (5) DS (2) Just eat it, will ya


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