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behavioral issues with 4 1/2 yo son
zsangel posted:
My son is 4 1/2, when he is with me (his Mom) he does not listen, follow rules. He is very defiant towards me. He purposely does what I tell him not to do. He often hits me when he does not get his way. He will throw temper tantrums when told no by me. He will throw things (toys, pillows, clothes, etc) when he doesn't get his way. He talks back to me and tells me no all the time.

This behavior only occurs when I am around. He is a complete angel at school (Pre K) and he does not display these behaviors when he is with other people including his Dad. If I am there when he is with other people he displays this behavior. He will be good until the moment he sees me.

I don't know what to do. I have tried redirection, time outs, taking toys away, taking privileges away, early bed times...nothing works. I often lose my temper with him because I am just fed up and distraught.

kimagah responded:
Have you heard of the book 1-2-3 Magic? I am in a similar situation and this book was recommended by a counselor and his Pre-K academic advisor. I am strategizing now and after a clean bill of health from his pediatrician and am going to give it a try.
myhappyface responded:
I know what you mean. Kids seem to know what buttons to push with us, probably because they have learned what works when we are frustrated and give in. I, too, tried the things you tried and found the same result. THEN I discovered a simple mommy trick that ENABLED me to take charge and gain control again. It is found the in a book called, From Combat Zone to Love at Home: The Happy Face Token System. The title intrigued me plus the author guaranteed my success for 30 days. I tried it and I can't begin to tell you how our family happiness improved. Within 2 weeks, my children were completing tasks happily, the first time asked and thanking me for being the best mom in the world! I was blown away at the ease and simplicity of this Happy Face Token System. My children even come up and ask me what they can do to earn tokens. The secret seems to be the reward chart that is in the book. The children earn tokens, according to my mood, or feelings of the day...(I love that) there's no set number and when they have a set number of tokens needed to use the reward chart (set according to my desire to let them do that reward) they can have that reward. I love the kind of things on the list. ie sleep in the family room, or on top of my bed in my clothes. These are the things that drive me nuts but they LOVE to do and will work for it. NOW I have a happy face. check it out it might help.

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KC~ lucky mom to DD1 (9), DS (7) and DD2 (4)

Helpful Tips

Re-enforce good counting techniques.
Use gold plastic coins to encourage counting. When the child does anything worthwhile or helpful give tokens and then ask the child how ... More
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