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Uncles death need pro input
An_256403 posted:
We had to tell 5 year old DD her uncle 42 died today. She is very close to him, and use to seeing him almost everyday because we live next to each other. I dont expect her to understand completly. We have told her that her uncle will be cremated. And explained he will be put into a special room that will turn his body into ashes. We havent told her he would be burned. She keeps wanting to see where. There will be a viewing in 2 days and no service. She will be at the viewing, the cremation will not be at the same place. If she is still asking to see where there are taking him is it healthy or wise to let her see the room before they do anything? Im struggling with this because it is the first cremation I have had to deal with. I dont want her to have nightmares or be confused about what happened to his body so its a struggle. Arrangements were made before we told her. None of the family has plans to go, so its not something that was brought up. I admit my emotions are still a little raw to think clearly if it would be mentaly healthy or do harm. So any input would be greatly appreciated.
tlkittycat1968 responded:
Personally, I wouldn't have even told her about the cremation. My daughter is 4 and her grandfather (DH's father) passed away. We did tell her that he'd died and went to heaven and that's it. He was cremated but we didn't tell her that.
Pround mom of PJ (6) and Kylee (4).
jlynnpaine responded:
I hope she's handling it better by now as I see this was posted a couple weeks ago. I agree with PP, I would try to keep information age appropriate and minimize what happens with the actual body of the deceased. If it was me, I would find a nice picture of her uncle that you can frame and she can keep in her room. That will give her a good image to see, rather than him thinking about being turned into ashes.

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