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Much Needed Vent
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wichelmana posted:
Oh wow, it's been a while since I've been on here...

Well, our DD will be hitting 9 months officially tomorrow! She has eight teeth (four top, four bottom) crawls, stands, says 'mama, dada,' and 'baba', and eats just about everything that we eat. She sleeps in her crib through the night, and we rarely have issues with napping during the day.

Recently, I've been thinking more and more about when I want to have my IUD taken out so that DH and I can try for LO #2. Originally, we agreed that it would be taken out around March/April 2011, so that potentially DD would be a little over two years old when LO #2 came around. Well, tonight I finally mentioned something about it...

And DH pretty much just crushed every hope of having another baby that I had. "We need to be able to afford another baby before we have one." We're never going to be able to actually afford another baby! My mom told me the other day when we were discussing it, "Don't wait until you're financially stable, or else it'll never happen." And I completely agree. While I know that we need to be -ready- to have another baby, I also know that DH and I will never actually have any stability when it comes to our financial situation.

Well, then he brought up the fact that I'm a SAHM right now and that he's hoping that I'll have a job before we have LO #2. Something that is also more than likely not going to happen. As it is right now, DH works rotating 12 hour night shifts, and we don't have the money to pay a babysitter or daycare. We have enough to get DD the things that she needs, get groceries, have gas for DH to go to work for two weeks till his next check, and pay at least two of the bills out of the bills that we have. There's no way that I can possibly get a job, unless I can find something part time, and flexible so that I can work on DH's days off...but then that really hurts Chessa because she potentially will never see both DH and I. Just one of us at a time, and to be honest, I don't much trust DH with DD for more than a few hours at a time...he doesn't keep a good eye on her, barely does anything with her. He acts like it's such a chore to do anything for her like feed her or play with her, or change her. It makes me so ANGRY some days. I feel like I'm in this by myself most days. I understand that he works and brings home a paycheck, but would it seriously kill him to spend some quality time with DD?

*Sigh* I just don't want to have DD be more than three years apart from her younger sibling. Stupid reason for wanting LO #2, I know, but I saw what the age gap between my brother and I did to us, and what the age gap between DH and his brother did to them.

Am I wrong for wanting to start trying to have a baby next spring? Or should I just forget about it and go on with life?
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elegi23 responded:
Sounds like your LO is doing great! I think each family needs to make their own decisions. IDK what kind of age gap you have with your siblings but I am 5 & 12 years apart from my younger brothers. I don't think it killed me. Yeah, we weren't best friends, and yeah, my 2 brothers aren't best friends ATM (they are 10 and 17 so just imagine), but it does have its benefits. You won't have two babies in diapers. DD will be able to help you out more (if she's 12 don't make her the built-in babysitter, I resented it). Anyway, then again, I want LO #2 before DD is 3. I actually wanted to start this past May, but because I am still EBF, I still haven't had AF, so there's no chance yet. I want my children to be close. I have a DSS who is 6, but he never sees DD, and his mom is having a baby in Oct. I think that if you live that paycheck to paycheck, it might not be a good idea to have another one right away. Imagine paying for 2 sets of diapers. Maybe you can try and talk DH into trying when you start potty training DD so at least there's only 1 in diapers. (Just an idea.) Maybe by then things will look better financially. Right now, I am the only one working, and while I miss DH paycheck, his expenses were more than it. I would look for a part time job. I'm not sure what you did before, but maybe you can work at a resturant. My cousin works at Bob Evans and her husband owns his own business, so he doesn't have a schedule. But they work with her as long as she can give them a schedule a week in advanced. I used to work at Bob Evans as a 2nd job when I left my ex and had to move out on my own, until I got settled. Just an idea.
Gini (22), DH (29), Eleora Marylin 07/23/09


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Mom of two girls first girl is 8yrs and second is almost 1yrs old three more weeks. We live in Oklahoma.

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