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8 yr old still wets bed at night
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arude5 posted:
Hello All, My son will be 9 at the end of this month and he still wets the bed. He wants to have sleep overs and I would prefer for him to be pull-up free before he starts. Please share with any helpful hints on how to solve the problem. He is a very deep sleeper and when I try to wake him up to go to the bathroom it is very, very difficult. What are your thoughts?
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Ruby46 responded:
I'd say he's a normal kid whose brain needs to grow up a little and whose bladder needs to get a little bigger. He's fine.

Good for you for letting him wear pullups as long as he needs to. You know this is not something he can control.

He can have a sleepover, but you may need to stay awake til twelve or one in the morning and walk him to the bathroom. Just make sure his sleeping bag is at the edge of the crowd of boys so that he can get to the bathroom without any fuss. We did this for several years. My son was 7 before he was night trained. He was a sound sleeper, so I simply sat him up in bed and then walked him to the bathroom. I helped him urinate into the bowl and then walked him back to bed. He stayed asleep the whole time. Eventually, his bladder and his brain grew up and he's fine now.

Your son, at nine, may be among the small percent of boys who night train very late. There are some boys who do this into their teen years, but it's a small number.

Keep doing what you're doing and he'll be fine eventually.
 
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naolav responded:
My sister is stepmother to 7 boys, and she has had the same problem with all but 2 or 3 of the boys. They wet the bed into their teen years (14 - 16). I had a problem with my daughter, although younger, but the only one of my children who wet the bed up to a year after they were potty trained. What helped with my sister's kids and it literally solved the problem for my daughter was we totally stopped all sugary drinks after 4:00 p.m. I totally stopped all sugared drinks in my house, but can't always control what the sitter gives; so the sitter was instructed no sugary drinks after 4:00 p.m. That includes 100% juice of any kind. And then no drinks whatsoever after 8:00 p.m. My sister's step sons all outgrew the problem that are now over 16, but she still has a couple of the younger ones (early teens) who wet on a rare occasion, and when they do wet it's because they've had a sugared drink after 4:00 p.m. (such as pop, kool-aid, juice, etc.) But her children's doctor told her they would outgrow it, and they did.

You might try letting your son have a sleepover at your house. I know that my son's friend still wore pull-ups to bed up until he was about 8 years old. My son's reaction was, "You still wear diapers to bed?!!" But I explained to my son that some children just mature slower than others and not to make fun of him and he was okay with it after that. Funny thing is, my friend's son always had a dry pull-up when he stayed over at our house.
 
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chlooper responded:
I have a son that still wets at night also turning 9 this month. I would like to hear of sugestions also. Have you talked to his pediatrician yet? My son tried a presciption mediation although it didn't work well for my son it is supposed to be pretty effective. also there is infrmation on the web about bed wetting and how you have to train th brain to wake at night because children who wet at nite are sleeping to deep and don't gothroug the regular sleep patterns rem and non rem sleep something to check into.
 
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homerunmommy responded:
Hi! DD1 also wets the bed- she is 6 1/2. We recently saw her doctor and i askd about the bedwetting while we were there. She suggested no liquids 1-2 hours before bed and waking DD1 up during the night or early morning to go potty. I have been waking her up around 11:30 pm or so and she hasn't wet the bed in the last week. It's not fun getting up and making her go but it works and eventually her body will learn to wake up and go if she needs to. Hope this helps!
 
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caddunson34 responded:
I know how you feel, my son is 9, and wets the bed nearly every night. I've taken him to his dr, and she referred us to a urologist, who put him on medicine, but it just made him very thirsty and dehydrated enough that he had problems with constipation. Fortunately, we have 2 things on our side, 1 - pullups/goodnights, 2 - I had the same problems as a child., so I know that the less stress he has about it, the quicker it will be over with. So, use the pull-ups (but make him responsible for the morning clean-up) and be patient and tell him that he is not unusual in any way. So many kids have this and they are perfectly normal, just like him. Its just when he is sleeping, his brain and his body are doing two different things. He will eventually outgrow it (I was 14!) and its nothing to be ashamed of. My son has sleepovers, and he tells me when someone finds out his 'secret' and we talk about it and he is fine. I hope this helps.
 
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Johnnie38 responded:
This is normal for many kids, especially boys. Have you not let him sleep out or have friends over because of the pullups? If so, why? It seems he is ok enough to have the party, why are you uncomfortable with his needing pullups? It is no reflection on your parenting.
 
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normarae5 responded:
I would get him up twice a night. This is going to be a pain( believe my I know, I had to do this with my son) but eventually his body will train to get up on his own. Also, make sure you stop liquids two hours before bed time. At my house my son gets no liquids after 7 pm. Good Luck, this is very common with kids but frustrating on the parents and child. Me personally never even gave the pull up option a thought with my son. They have pull ups to fit eight year old ???
 
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Amanda1981 responded:
I would guess she is more afraid of him being made fun of for wearing pull-ups, not the reflection on her parenting skills.
 
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Johnnie38 responded:
Amanda, if your reply is in response to mine, I don't see it as you are interpreting this scenario. Its fine to worry by proxy on behalf of your child, but the boy is ok enough to want to have friends over anyway. She is denying him friends at the expense of not allowing him the opportunity to have friends over. Also her worry about embarrassment, as you are suggesting, only reinforces the fact that SHE think the situation is shameful or embarrassing and is possibly giving off the vibes to son. I think mom needs to reeval her position and have the party. Some kids sleep in pullups. Not the end of the world. Just my opinion.
 
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Amanda1981 responded:
I agree with you, my 6 year old still sleeps in a pull-up and I find nothing embarrassing about it. However I think she does need to talk to her son about it, yes essentially she is denying him a certain right of passage for all young children to have his first sleep over but, by denying him that she might feel she is protecting him. I remember a certain situation when I was around 11 years old, I was at a sleep over and one of my friends found a large size diaper and kept making jokes only to find out it belonged to another friend, although she didn't intentionally set out to hurt her she did because of her jokes, apologies were made but, it sort of put a wedge in their friendship. Kids can be hurtful.
 
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normarae5 responded:
Before I begin, Let me say this is only my opinion. I think that their is a problem with letting a 9 year old sleep in a pull up. He is too old for that unless he has something else going on with him. I would be waking him up at night, even if I had to get up three times( and that is a hassle, I know but thats the name of the game when it comes to parents) I would still let him have the sleep over but you can not tell other 9 year old that you sleep with a pull-up on or let them find out. I dont care how you put it, he will be teased and talked about at school or in the neighborhood. Its sad but reality. Like the other post said kids are cruel. This is a issue that effects a lot of kids and with work this can be corrected. My sister wet the bed until she was 12 years old. You know why, my mother never did or tried anything to help her stop. Thats like telling her that its ok and it really isn't ok, and any child would be ashamed of it even if the mother does not think the same. JMO
 
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Tricia1166 responded:
But that makes it sound like its a behaviorial problem -- it is not. It is a physical problem which in most cases will only be resolved by his body physically maturing. Yes, they should try things like waking him up in the middle of the night, cutting of drinks a couple hours before, etc. BUT, even with doing those things to train his body, in the meantime there is no reason he can't continue to wear the pullup/goodnight (that's why they make them for older kids). I think at a sleepover he'd be a lot MORE embarrassed if he wet the bed or his sleeping bag. He can change in the bathroom at the other child's house, and his mom can tell the other mom so she knows to help her DS out if he needs it. And yes, I was a bedwetter as a kid.
 
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normarae5 responded:
I agree with him wearing the pull-up when he has the sleep over, but I was speaking as In my opinion as of long term I think that the pull ups are a bad thing to start doing as a first option and by 9 years old he should not be in a pull-up. I wet the bed to as a child as well. My son started to wet the bed and I tried every option out there to stop him from doing this and I was successful. It was not easy. I just do not agree with the pull up options, thats all. I totally understand that this condition is not behavioral, It is a physical problem but can be cut down and resolved with much needed help. I would never just let my child out grow this condition until I had exhausted all other options.
 
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raeftj responded:
I am still dealing with the night time bed wetting issues with my 8 year old. When we were at the doctor last, he explained that there is something inside my son's brain that has not clicked yet. When it does, he will be able to stay dry at night.

One thing that we tried that seems to bring more dry nights is having him wear underwear to bed. I have noticed my son has more accidents when he wears the pull-ups. What we did was got a mattress protector. I found them at Walmart and Target for around $7.00. Get the plastic kind. The ones with cloth on top/plastic on the bottom do not last very long. My son goes to bed between 7-7:30. I make him use the potty before bed. Then I come up between 9-9:30 to check on him. Sometimes he has had an accident sometimes he is still dry. If he had an accident, then he helps me get the sheet off the bed. He goes to the bathroom to get cleaned up while I wipe down the plastic cover and put a new sheet on. If he is dry, I try to get him up to go potty. Most of the time, he doesn't really wake up. (He is also a heavy sleeper.) Either my husband or I will do this again at midnight.

I saw a post somewhere else about double layering the bed. I have thought about trying that as well. I just need to get another mattress protector. You would put the mattress protector, sheet, mattress protector, then sheet.

We also have done as previous posts suggest. No liquid after 6:00 or dinner time, except a little water to take his meds. At dinner, he only gets one glass of either milk, juice or water.

And as for sleep overs, I would look into the UnderJams. They are what we use when he spends the night. They are softer than pull-ups. I would be anxious about my son going pull-up free. I feel like if he had an accident it would be more embarrassing than if they found his pull-up.

My son felt much better about using his pull-up after watching an Arthur episode where Francine was still wearing "a diaper". It helped him see this is normal.


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