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Super Mom or Guilty Mom?
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Lainey_WebMD_Staff posted:
Great read in the "Child Health 411" blog.
http://blogs.webmd.com/child-health-411/2010/05/super-mom-or-guilty-mom.html
I try to be a good mom. Guilt is a part of any parent's life.
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DidiToo responded:
You know what? I decided that guilt is not going to be a part of my life. I work outside the home, my kids are well cared-for, I do my best, and that is that. And DH should help, and he does. I think guilt on my part teaches my kids the wrong lesson - that they should feel like they're deprived in some way, when they should actually feel lucky that they're in loving home, with opportunities that a lot of kids around the world don't have. Off my soapbox now. :-)
 
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Lainey_WebMD_Staff replied to DidiToo's response:
Hi Didi!

Guilt seems to just be part of parenthood. We tend to have a view of what mothers should do/be. But we all fall short at times. I do agree that most parents work hard to give their children a good life.
 
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DidiToo replied to Lainey_WebMD_Staff's response:
I know a lot of parents do feel guilt, but I don't accept it as inevitable. I don't think it has to be a part of parenthood, is what I'm saying. Yes, we all fall short sometimes, we all can do better at other times, but that just means we are human.
 
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MrsWhiteCastle responded:
Sorry, but I didn't find this a "great read". I'm assuming you put the link here to start a discussion on the board. So, I'll give you my 2 cents.

I find the article rather ironic. This article on moms feeling guilty I think actually makes mothers feel more guilty. The whole paragraph starting with "poor dad" was poorly written if the article was trying to make mothers feel less guilty. After reading that paragraph, it seems to me as the author is saying "Shame on you Moms for making Dads feel the way they do." Gee, thanks. More guilt to add onto moms who already feel guilty.

Unlike Didi, I do feel a lot of guilt. I feel it in many aspects of my life, not just parenting. So, maybe that's why I take the article in the negative manner I did.

I do have to agree, though, that after our first child was born, I did feel guilty when DH had to help out. Fortunately, that changed when number 2 was born.
 
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FCL responded:
Why is WebMD promoting such antiquated thinking? Why assume that home and children are a woman's responsability and that the male just "helps"?

If couples could get their minds round the fact that both partners are equally responsible then a lot of the guilt could be avoided and a few more problems besides. Men should not "help" their wives. They should be hands-on participants at all levels ... just like she is. THAT is what WebMD should be promoting - not age-old, out-dated role models...

Personally, I accepted from the start that not everything can be done, not even by two willing participants :). I have never considered that "super-mom" exists anywhere in the world of reality. If you have realistic expectations you're a lot less likely to be disappointed and certainly less likely to feel guilt ...
 
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Lainey_WebMD_Staff responded:
I looked over the blog again. This quote sums up the writers view.

"Being a good mom is not about being there 24/7 to change diapers, wipe snotty noses, and clean skinned knees. It's about the quality of the time you spend with your children. Your kids know that — now it's time that you learned it, too. It's that quality time that makes you a Super-Mom, not how many jobs you can handle simultaneously."


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