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    Homework - How involved are you?
    DidiToo posted:
    My first-grader has just started to get homework on a regular basis. As background, I always swore that I would not be doing my child's homework for him, or with him - I see it as being important for kids to take ownership of their work and responsibilities. I've seen my role as being limited to perhaps helping him figure out a concept when he is stuck, helping him make sure that the work is where it should be (until he's developed his own organizational method) and minor stuff like that. I'd rather have him send back homework with his own mistakes than done perfectly with (what I see as) over-involvement by me.

    So of course, it's easy to say that in theory, but much harder to do in practice. I glanced at my DS's homework sheet to find that he made a fairly simple mistake because he rushed. I handled it not by pointing out the mistake, but by telling him that when DH and I do assignments at work, we always take the time to double-check. I asked that he take a moment to double-check (a habit I'd like him to develop early), and he caught the mistake. If he hadn't caught it, I was prepared to just have him send it in and have it marked wrong by the teacher.

    I guess what I'm wondering is, does this square with what's expected in the classroom now? Is it going to be perceived as DS being held accountable or as DS being sent to school not as prepared as other kids? Do you let your kids make their own mistakes on homework; do you review it with them; do you correct it?
    Lainey_WebMD_Staff responded:
    This is an individual parent choice. I would speak with your child's teacher and find out what type of support is expected from parents.
    katieb426 responded:
    You should talk to your son's teacher about what kind of involvement he/she would like you to have. I don't see helping my daughter on her homework as just doing it for her. Right now she doesn't really get "grades". Her report card is more of a general evaluation. My thought is that I want her to learn a good work ethic and make sure she understands the concept that she's working on. Most of the time she is independent in her homework. I will look it over when she is done to make sure she understood what she was supposed to be doing. I'll ask her leading questions to help her come to the right answer herself. And yes, if there is a mistake I have her correct it by guiding her.

    I also look over the work she brings home and if there are a ton of mistakes on a paper, I will sit down with her and go over it (but I think they do this in class too). I am a former teacher and feel that school should be about learning and a child can only learn a concept with help. They don't always just figure it out on their own. Homework is an important part of learning and parents should be involved as long as it's not motivated by getting "good" grades. Does that make sense?

    Seems like you are doing a good job, but again, talk to the teacher and see what the purpose of the homework is.
    Katie, Randy, Ella (7), Owen (5), Connor (4), Lilly (23 months)
    1andonlybaby replied to katieb426's response:
    Hi Katie,

    Long time! Just thought I'd drop in and see if any oldies are still around. Hope you and your family are well.
    1andonlybaby responded:
    My 2nd grader has had daily homework since K. In K, I would sit with him while he did his homework. Towards the end of K, I started to back off. I'm usually somewhere nearby in case he needs help.
    I always check it because parents have to sign homework and I don't want to sign if it's not correct and complete. If he has some wrong, I go over those with him and he has to correct them.
    I won't do his homework for him but he knows I'm there to help if need be.
    katieb426 replied to 1andonlybaby's response:
    Hi 1andonly! I'm still around. It's kind of my "escape" during the afternoon. I don't think too many people are around anymore. The boards have kind of died out. It's sad. I really enjoyed all the info that got passed around this board :(
    Katie, Randy, Ella (7), Owen (5), Connor (4), Lilly (23 months)
    HeatherHans responded:
    Didi - how are you?!

    So far, my 6/29 first grader has not gotten any homework but she will surely get some soon. Frankly, I'm not sure homework at this age really accomplishes all it sets out to do, but that is a whole other topic...

    I would have handled the situation just as you did. If I see Silje struggling with a subject I will certainly spend more time as necessary, and even make up some (hopefully?) fun exercises outside of the scheduled homework. But for the time being, I want to see how she does on her own with just a little feedback from me and her dad.
    Me (34), DH (35), DD 6/04, DD 12/09
    DidiToo replied to HeatherHans's response:
    Hi, Heather! It is great to hear from you. We're doing well. Nathan is liking first grade...I guess, although it's hard to get details out of him. I have to try to play games to get him to say anything new ("Tell me five things I don't know about Ms. J's class"). All I have so far is "She's nice," "We sit at desks that are made into tables," and...nothing. But he seems happy, anyway. :-) He's still a crazy ball of energy, maybe a *little* calmer than before, but still a total character. The other day I went to pick him and his brother up from their afterschool/preschool, and Nathan gave a random guy with a baby carrier a high five...I asked him, "Did you know that guy?" He didn't. So, he hasn't changed all that much, I guess!
    HeatherHans replied to DidiToo's response:
    Silje and Nathan are so alike! I often have to hold snacks ransom to get any kind of information from Silje about her day. She was in a new summer program this year, and all summer we heard nil about who she played with and what they did. Later at a picnic the staff told us that she made the rounds all day telling jokes and getting groups organized to play different silly games. She too is all energy, but seems to pull it together when needed in school. :)

    It's nice to see some familiar faces here. It's sad how these boards have quieted down after the big change.
    Me (34), DH (35), DD 6/04, DD 12/09
    1andonlybaby replied to katieb426's response:
    I just didn't like the change to the boards. Plus, many of the oldies that I was used to had left anyway. I definitely got lots of great info during the 6-7 yrs I was here.

    Good chatting with you. Take care! I might pop in every now and then. I'm surprised my logon still worked!!

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