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7 year-old with attitude and mood swings
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mom2quads posted:
Ok, I hope I am not alone in this because I am about to lose my mind. One of my girls seems to have these crazy mood swings. One minute she is smiling, happy-go-lucky, playful, loving....and the next (usually when I ask her to do a chore, homework, bath, bedtime, etc....or when someone wants to watch something diff on tv, someone touches one of her toys...etc) she explodes in a fit of whining, crying, telling us no, saying it's not fair, going limp when we try to pick her up, getting very hateful and saying we don't make her brother and sister do the same things (but we do. they all have the same responsibilities). I have tried everything I can think of to bring her back to a calm state. I have bent down where I am at her eye level (even laid on floor by her!). We have tired punishment such as no tv, video games, fav stuffed animal, etc. Also tried having her sit in a "time-out" spot. She has been sent to bed early. Nothing seems to phase her. She will continue her "fit throwing" until she eventually falls asleep or realizes we are not giving in. Which, by the way, I don't give in. I will admit, much to the dismay of those against spanking, that I have even swatted her. Now, mind you, I was raised in the day when this was acceptable, and I still find it so when it is needed...not excessive or abusive though.

Does anyone else have these issues with your child around the same age? Any suggestions? I have honestly considered counseling for her. She is the "middle child" now that one of the quads passed away. Is middle child syndrome a real thing? Because she's not the "baby" of the four? Because she's not the oldest?

Please help! (And...thank you in advance!)
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momuv4girls responded:
Hi Mom,

I totally understand where you are coming from - - - NO, you are not alone

I highly recommend finding a qualified Child Psychologist to see your daughter and offer an evaluation.

My 4th daughter acting very similar, and subsequently was dx with a "mood disorder" at age 7.

This is not about bad parenting or a bad child. IMHO, it sounds like something internal is going on - - my guess is she has been this way since birth in some form or another.

(((Big Hugs and support)))
Kathleen
 
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84_jenn replied to momuv4girls's response:
my son is that way and hes 9. ive went as far as sending him to my parents house for the weekend. I dont not like spanking my kids at all but i have gotten better at it and doing it when they really need it. it breaks my heart but what else can i do. I am trying to seek help as we speak on what i can try and i hope and pray i find something soon. Good Luck and hopefully we get them under control
 
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aatmika responded:
she is just playing control games... you want to play along? make sure you are not catching her unexpected with chores or rules, lay ground rules at home with consequences for not following them. Never talk rational to her when she is upset: it wont work. You need to have family meetings where the chores are distributed between all of you, ad agreed upon, and the consequences for not having followed also laid out and agreed upon. Do take her to a counsellor let her have her say to an ousider and let us see her point of view. above all, ignore her when she is rolling on the floor or whining; are there severe sibiling issues there that we have not spoken about?
aatmika
 
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An_222232 responded:
my 7 year old is the exact same way!! I've always chalked it up to "only child syndrome" but when I talk to her friends' parents we agree its an age related phase.

And not just the 7 tear old girls, but the boys. I guess they are testing our limits.
 
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mom2quads replied to aatmika's response:
@aatmika - There are really no "severe sibling issues" that I can think of. I know my son knows how to get under her skin, but in his defense, she knows how to get under his as well. I think they are a lot alike, but my son does not throw his attitude around or throw tantrums. He doesn't appear to have the personality issues she does. My other daughter is amazingly calm. She stays out of the fights and doesn't instigate any problems. I know every child is different, but I am so lost.
 
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mom2quads replied to momuv4girls's response:
@ Kathleen - Thank you for your advice! I will look into taking her to a Psychologist. I would like to get their opinion.
 
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mom2quads replied to 84_jenn's response:
@84_jenn - keep us posted. Praying for you
 
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mom2quads replied to An_222232's response:
@Anon_74671 - I pray this passes soon if it's a phase. I am considering taking her to a Psychologist though.
 
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ewsdebewl responded:
I think it's because she's 7. And a girl. My 7 year old step daughter began with the massive attitude pretty much the day she turned 7. She has an 8 month old (half) sister, which recently the jealousy has began to show its evil face. I have been mom to her for about a year before my daughter was born, so she has been "the only child" at our house for a while. She hasn't shown jealousy until recently, but it's not too bad. We try very hard to make time equal, she is not treated as anything less than our daughter. The main problem is her bursting into a tearful fit for no reason. We were in a store, shopping for back to school, had some shoes at the register. She turned around and asked if she could have a kitkat. She NEVER gets candy. EVER. I told her no. She immediatley started stopping her feet, crying, screaming about how unfair I was and mean, and I never get her anything she wants (remember, we are at the checkout, buying HER a pair of shoes) and on and on. Needless to say, we left the store without the shoes. I was mortified. I have never seen a bigger fit from her. Over a kitkat bar. She asked me just yesterday about those shoes, I reminded her that we didn't get the shoes because she threw a fit. She said, oh, yeah.... and that was the end of it. She also has been know to "hate" macaroni and cheese (she loves it) or chicken nuggets (loves them) or anything else, just because she doesn't want to eat it at that time. She sat at the table for 2 hours one night because she refused to eat. She ended up eating it, and then going straight to bed. I try and give her choices, which at first went bad, but only one night. Ex: TV at night. She used to take 2 hours to go to sleep because she'd keep the tv on in her room (I want it gone all together, but I lost that battle so far). I gave her the choice....since it took her so long to go to sleep with the tv on, she can watch it for 30 minutes then it goes off (cue horrified face and a few tears here) OR she can got to be with no TV. That first night she threw a horrible fit and wound up with no TV. We listened to her rant and rave and cry for almost 2 hours through the closed door. The next night, she chose 30 minutes of TV. It hasn't been a problem since. Gotta stick to your guns. Was it annoying? Yes. Did she wake up her baby sister? Yes. Did we add to the drama by punnishing her for that? No. I talked to her the next day about her fit and asked her if she thought it was a good idea to throw a fit when she didn't get her way. She said no. We don't have very many fits like that anymore. She has these "instant tears" when she doesn't get her way. She wants a snack, I tell her to go get one. She says she doesnt like any of them (she picked them out). I tell then don't get a snack. She starts crying and saying that daddy gets all the good snacks (for work...and she turns into a gremlin with sugar) and she doesn't get anything......I calmly tell her that she picked out her snacks and explained (again) that she doesn't get sugary snacks because sugar in certain foods, such as candy or those junk food little debbie snacks, gives her a horrible attitude and she gets in trouble if she has an attitude. She doesn't like getting in trouble, so we avoid the sugar. Usually she is fine with the snacks we have for her, just today, she decided they weren't ok. I told her she can go to her room if she was going to cry. 5 minutes later, she came out and asked if she could have one of her snacks. Her attitude is so drastic, so quick, I wonder sometimes if she is bipolar. She's probably not, she's just 7. That's how they act. Everyone I've asked about it, has the same issues. She's usually a good kid, but when she decides to be bad, my oh my. They say it ends around 9, just in time for preteens! We have started a chore chart she gets $ for each chore, if she gets an attitude that day, she gets a sad face and no money for the day. And still has to do her chores. The visual helps her
 
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sisiandkais responded:
I hope you are still around and I get a response from Mom2quads, as this has been a while. I am so going through this right now!! I have done all the same things as you and am at my wits end!!
To any mom or dad out there who posts some stupid response back about this being a girl thing, or a needing a more discipline thing, try reading the whole post, then answer with some actual advice. Thanks...
My daughter, is, to top it off dyslexic and I wonder if this has to do with anything? She is very bright and needs an outlet ALL the time, but this is EXCESSIVE!! I've looked up bipolar, but her mood swings are daily, and there is no depression. There is supper happy, supper pissed, supper sad, supper nice, supper loving, supper busy, supper active.... you get it, but it is all day long and it never stops til she goes to bed. We never know what will piss this kid off. She is not an only child. My husband and I are happily married. Her home life is great. Again... PLEASE HELP... and Thank you in advance!!
 
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momuv4girls replied to sisiandkais's response:
Hi Mom,

I think it would be a good idea to look into a professional to evaluate your daughter.

My youngest daughter is diagnosed with a mood disorder, which at age 7, sounded a lot like your daughter. NO amount of discipline, charts, threats worked and our family life was suffering terribly - so was my daughter.

I am not saying your daughter has a mood disorder, but I think it would be in everyone's best interest to find either a Child Psychologist or Child Psychiatrist to do a full, intensive evaluation to get to the root of her behaviors.

I will paste some links for you to explore, and if you have any further questions or concerns, please write back.

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/facts_for_families

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/child_and_adolescent_psychiatrist_finder/child_and_adolescent_psychiatrist_finder

http://www.thebalancedmind.org/

TAKE CARE!
-Kathleen
 
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mom2quads replied to sisiandkais's response:
Hi sisiandkais,
I am not sure about dyslexia contributing to your daughters mood swings, but it's entirely possible that she feels out of control due to it. (I have a sister who is dyslexic and says she feels that way a lot). Does she take medication?

I never took my daughter to be evaluated by a psychologist, however I really wanted (and still want) to. My husband is not supportive in this area and feels like yelling at her is the only option. I am frustrated beyond 2 years ago now. I think we need a support group! HA!

Oh I completely understand the super happy, super loving, super sweet, super active, then all of a sudden there is super agitated and pissy. I wish I had words of comfort or wisdom for you, but unfortunately I'm still in the same boat.

Keep me posted on what you decide to do! Best wishes!
 
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lemom replied to mom2quads's response:
Hello Mom2quads,
hoping you can reply to this post I am going through the same, my son who will be 8 in March has been acting the same way, this have been happening for almost 5 months now. He gets mad very easily for no reason, we have changed the way we treat him, before we would try and give what he expected so that we could not hear him cry or scream, now we let him cry all the way until he is not crying anymore. Even now when we see he will start we comment "ok you are going to start again go cry in your room" etc. The same happens here my husband does not support me taking him to be evaluated because he does not want our child to take medication for something that can probably be fix at home. About the same time ago his best friend moved to another city, and they were so close, my son is always speaking of his friend and I do not know if this something to do with his attitude. He always finishes his homework, does his shores and wants to be either on any electronic device the rest of the day. Since your first posting have you done something that helped your daughter with her attitude? did you take her to be evaluated after all? I would appreciate any feedback as I really don't know how to handle this. p.s he is my middle son.
Please answer as soon as you can,
thank you
 
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ExtremeEllison responded:
I really hope that you come back and tell us what you ended up doing. My now 9 year old daughter sounds identical to yours. She is even one of 4 kids. I thought the flopping down to the ground thing was just her. We call it the "melting" syndrome. Any advice would be wonderful!


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