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niece acts like a lap dog
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An_222250 posted:
My half sisters 6-year-old daughter is very affectionate and loving toward men, mostly older adult men. She doesn't act this way toward family members as much, because they usually scoot her out of their lap within a few minutes when she gets squirmy, but when she is around my husband she is very "touchy feely" and wiggly. She likes to sit on his lap and tries to act really cute, almost like she's flirting. My husband is the only one she really does this to. I was molested by my stepdad while i was growing up.. so of course it really bothers me to see her squirming all in my hubby's lap for long periods of time. He is a very calm person and tolerant man, so it doesnt bother him. Maybe he likes the affection too. I have told him that this bothers me, and also talked to my mom and sister about it, and they said they have had a talk with her. Nothing has changed tho. Last time we were over there, she acted the same. My sister was the same way when she was little.. and it drove me nuts too! I couldnt enjoy hanging out with my boyfriends at our house because she wouldnt stay off of him!!! Like mother, like daughter huh? Whats bad also is they live just a few streets over and i cant avoid them forever. It just seems inappropriate for her to do this to my husband, when she doesnt act that way toward her 'real' uncles or her granddad. Is this appropriate? How do i make this stop without hurting anyones feelings? PLEASE help, I can't stand this anymore!! I would appreciate any comments!! Thank you....
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ryanandleigh responded:
You can't really control your niece's behavior so I would focus on your husband's. Sit down and talk with him about it but let him do the talking. Maybe he doesn't see anything wrong with what she is doing. I think if you explain why it bothers you and ask him to put a stop to it, he should - out of respect for you - discontinue letting her sit on his lap like that. As for your niece, you have spoken with her mother about it and I really don't think you can do much else beyond that since there really is no sign of abuse.
 
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normarae5 responded:
I agree with the first post..once you addressed this with your husband and voiced your concern. He should have put a stop to this. You even stated that maybe he likes the affection. So I would figure out why he likes the affection because she is a child and its up to adults to not tolerate a act or to not allow her to do this if its deemed inappropiate or if he knows that it bothers you. Or maybe he just doesnt want to be seen as being mean or stern but he should make an effort to not allow her as a child to do this. Also, her mother should stop it to but like the other post said. You can not control that.
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