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Extreame Behavioral Issues
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Anon_234910 posted:
My daughter is 2 weeks shy of being 6 years old. She is an only child. She's a VERY loved child and FAR from neglected. Even still ever since she was 3 it has been almost impossible to impossible for me to control her. I've tried everything when it comes to disciplining and for me NOTHING works! For my husband it's another story. He can look and her and she'll straighten up. But with me she pretty much completely ignores me. I never really considered myself a pushover, I've always been pretty stern but she's just not phased.
Recently it's gotten worse. If she doesn't get the answer she wants out of me she throws a 'pity me party', "no one loves me, everyone hates me" and threatens to kill herself. I have no idea where she got this idea but she pretty much does this everyday now. My first instinct when she started this was to insure her that I love her unconditionally and would be so sad if she did something to hurt herself. Then when i realized she was using it as a threat to get what she wanted I've started to ignore it. I know this is not normal for a 6 year old and I don't know what to do. Has anyone else had this problem with your child? If so what did you do? Any advice? Thanks
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momuv4girls responded:
Hummm, this is really tricky. I know how hard it is to have a child behave differently and out of the norm.

How does she do outside the home - lets say, you're at the mall or grocery store with her, we'll she have a fit in public ? How does she do with playmates and friends? Is she bossy/mean with them, or does she seem to interact "typically"

Behavioral issues are tough to deal with ((Hugs)).....I say this coming from a very difficult 4th daughter. We eventually sought out professionals, because as she got older, by age 7 I knew something was different and it wasn't my parenting - - it was an internal (genetic) problem.

Your husband is probably not your daughters primary caregiver, right ? I suspect you are and this is one reason he can do what he does and she'll listen. If he was doing your job 24/7 he would eventually have a hard time with her, just as you do.

One thing that really helped (besides seeking professional help), was for me to take parenting classes. Not just your typical parenting classes, but one for challenging children. I wish my husband would have come too, but he had to work, so I went. I learned a whole lot of good coping strategies, when to, and when not to interfere with her "mood" and how to make life a bit more peaceful for everyone.

If you are a reader, this is a fantastic parenting book:
http://www.parentmagic.com/

Write back anytime, am happy to help offer more suggestions and support !!
-Kathleen
 
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McNicsMom responded:
Anon,

Thank you for posting this! My son got into the "I want to kill myself" bit about 2 years ago (he's now almost and didn't know what to do. I still don't know what to do. I also have the husband who can keep him in line while I have a battle of wills on an almost hourly basis.

He was diagnosed with ADHD about 6 months ago and is on medication for it. It has helped somewhat, but he's experiencing some anxiety and over time has become more defiant. I'm going to add behavioral therapy to the ADHD treatment mix.

Maybe a discussion with your daughter's pediatrician is the next step?
 
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Mrshollyhocks responded:
Walk away!! Make sure she is safe. And walk away. Send her to her room. But don't give her the attention.
 
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Mrshollyhocks replied to Mrshollyhocks's response:
Nobody likes having a fit alone.


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