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omg this is my daughter
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kikki posted:
Besides the stealing from the store part this is my daughter she will be 5 next month & things are getting worse .Alot of people say because she is the middle child that is why she is acting out , My little guy is going to be 2 so he needs more attention at times & I try my best to do the same for her. I though things would get better since starting school but it is only getting worse.As far as i know she is fine in school. did fine in nursery school to. no stealing from either place . just at home,mostly my things like my retainers for my teeth bold face lie to me that she didn"t know where they were but the bottoms were in her mouth.Stealing gum then it was all over & chewed found in her room. She is not allowed to have it anymore .Now stealing it from me after asking is she could have some told her no she took it upon herself & took it & chewed it i caught her & made her spit it out . i don't ever know where to go from here .She is even stealing little things like an old watch,soap cause she didn't want to share it with her brothers,food i have found up in here room under her bed . defying me . I can not trust here anymore & can not tell when she is telling the truth . I want to gain that back but now she is afraid to tell me when she did something wrong . I think she is afraid of how i will react . i know it is neg. attention for her but i do not know how to turn it around ugh. I am going to try a behavior health thing that the peds office has to offer hopefully they can help us both. I want my baby girl back to the way things were before all this started . I fear she will get worse with the lying & stealing & also my younger son i fear will follow in her foot steps.i could go on & on about the things she has done but then i would be writing a book lol. Hopefully this appt. will help us both & any input is would be helpful.
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momuv4girls responded:
I think its very wise of you to look into your daughter's behaviors, and starting with the Behavioral Health unit sounds like a good idea.

I believe you are right to think these behaviors will not just disappear. You daughter needs some help in learning how and why she does these things.

I hope you find some answers, take care !!
-Kathleen
 
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kikki replied to momuv4girls's response:
Thankyou for responding .Well the doc appt. was a dead end ugh she deals with more older kids than younger but says she starts about age 5 which is my daughter a month away from 5 .So a little confused on that one so anyway my daughter was very shy & didnt say a word .I has to call my husband to pick her up about 10 min. into the appt. ugh.We talked a little about my daughter & was told I am doing the right thing yada yada and now reffering me to someone else who deals more with kids. i spoke to my daughters teacher b4 the appt. and was told she is a daydreamer in class & has to bring her back to what ever she is doing (I my self had learned about 6 months ago I have ADD) So u can see my concern for her now.well dear hubby has not happy about any of this and says it is just a faze and will pass ugh. I try to tell him how i felt like a failure all my life not knowing why i had a hard time learning but he can not understand where i am coming from. I tryed to talk him into letting me take her to the other place but it is getting know where. i feel the Add is in her & that maybe why she day dreams and the impulse behavior of taking things and hiding them. He on the other hand thinks she is doing it for attention and instesd of yelling at her to try and remain clam and talk to her about why it was wrong .I feel like we were not getting any where with this fight so i will try for alittle while to see if this works. But am still wanting to take her to the other doctor but as you can see that would not be a good idea. Once again i do not know what to say or do to help deal with the behavior problems and i guess i can at least try the not yelling part and ride it out till her well visit next month. do you know of any book i can read( since i can not go to someone who can help with that)or web sites. Thankyou for your thoughts.
 
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momuv4girls replied to kikki's response:
Oh that's too bad the appointment didn't go as you had hoped.

As a Mom of a daughter who struggles with mental health issues, I know how important it is to find the right Dr. and proper help - and unfortunately its a lot of hard work !!!

I think you are wise to trust your instincts that something is going on........it makes it even more difficult when your husband isn't exactly on the same page as you, but don't give up.

Something I found helpful is journaling. Every day or evening, I would write down the date, and what (if anything) happened with your daughter. It doesn't have to be a big paragraph, just a blurb about the day - like:

Sarah took gum out of my purse, and when I asked her about it acted like she didn't know what I was talking about and swore she didn't take it. She was in a good mood all day!

I find writing down events over time, establishes a pattern and is helpful when talking to Dr.s about her behavior.

I will also paste some links for you to explore, and if you want, you can write back with your City and State, and I can try to find some local resources too.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/child-and-adolescent-mental-health/index.shtml

http://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/lying.html

Take care Kikki, and write back anytime, I am happy to help with ideas and resources!
-Kathleen
 
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kikki replied to momuv4girls's response:
thank you for the web sites.I just ordered the positive discipline book from a-z. We had a problem last nightshe wanted to take a bath with her baby brother & i said not tonight she kept asking and asking i didn't answer after 2 times of tell her no.so she kept it up getting louder so i didn't say a word to her escorted her to the hall way & shut and locked to door she was not happy, then she started raging pounding on the door to the point i thought she was going to break the mirror on the other side .I had my cell phone i called the house phone lol and told dear hubby him to get her away from the door he did and all he hsd to do was raise his voice to her and she stopped. ugh


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