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7 yr old son constantly getting in trouble at school
seemeetme03 posted:
I have a 7 year old son in first grade and he's constantly in trouble at school. Yes this is only his first year of "true grade school" but it concerns me that we can't get through to him. He mostly gets in trouble from talking and not keeping his hands to himself. I can understand that children are going to talk in class but my main concern is him not keeping his hands to himself. He was getting in trouble on the playground with a bunch of boys for fighting and was told he was not allowed to go to that part of the playground anymore and he hasn't. He's also been told to not hang around certain kids because they are constantly in trouble. Now he seems to be getting in trouble all on his own. I've tried every discipline I can think of with the exception of spanking. He usually gets upset when someone he cares about scolds him or disciplines him but he doesn't seem to care when he teacher this year marks his calendar for bad behavior. His kindergarten teacher spoke to him a few weeks ago about it and he cried (which goes to show he doesn't care for this year's teacher and has no respect for her. I have been told that his current teacher expects a lot from kids this age but I know my son can do it. I have told him that even when you don't like someone you still have to listen to them and respect them. He's usually a sweet loving kid but it's like he turns into a different kid once he get's to school. I think I'm ready for school to be over more than he is.

Anyone else have this problem and if so where you able to fix it? Please help.
momuv4girls responded:
Maybe this particular school environment isn't the right "fit" for your son.

I would do some research of other schools in your area - maybe a smaller school, a Charter type school ? Charter schools often have smaller class sizes, and will have different learning styles (like more hands-on activities).

Not all kids fit in the typical classroom setting, and I think exploring your school options would be a good idea.

Take care!
iocasta responded:
It is not unusual for boys to have trouble keeping their hands to themselves. It can take some time for it to sink in. My son started school at 3 (preschool) and every year he progressively got better in understanding the need to keep his hands to himself. This year in 1st grade, he finally does not have an issue with it. My question is did he have this problem in kindergarten? If he didn't you have to ask yourself what has changed? Was the kindergarten teacher more tolerant or dealt with it in the classroom (not making it an issue to you because it is a normal behavior)? I would talk with his teacher to see what he/she suggests. Also, to find out how severe the issue is. For us, we were constantly on him about keeping his hands to himself, including touching that wasn't "aggressive" just grabby or unnecessary. We talked about how it was bothersome and rude. How people don't like it, which can translate into people not wanting to play with you. I will also note you have to watch your attitude towards his teacher. You don't mean to be less than respectful but there is a clear undertone here that you have issues with the teacher. You don't want your son to pick up on that. My son's JK (junior kindergarten) teacher wasn't the best and we had to work hard to not let our views of her color our son's behavior. I understand that this is frustrating but it is normal and they do out grow it if dealt with by constantly pointing out the behavior to him much the same as you do with toddler when you re-direct them. As my husband likes to say, gentle pressure constantly applied. GL

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