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3 1/2 year old daugther, anger and potty training issues
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MJBalcuns posted:

Hi.

I have a 3 and 1/2 year old girl who has suddenly had some very serious anger outbursts. They start at bedtime. The minute I tell her that its sleep time, she absolutely flips out. Throwing things, kicking screaming, crying so hard she has hiccups, red face, and hitting. Zero to absolutely livid in 2 seconds. There is absolutely nothing that I can do or say to make it better. If I Ieave the room, she turns completely panicked. If I sit and try to talk to her, she screams louder and louder until she can barely breathe. No matter what I do, she screams get away from me! Leave me alone! But again, if I leave she freaks even worse. If I stay, it still continues to elevate. This has been going on for about 2 weeks. Before, it was the most peaceful bedtime experience ever, it always has been. It is absolutely killing me that I don't know what is bothering her and that I cannot bring her comfort. They only way I've been able to stop it up until this point is putting her in my bed, alone, and she passes out. Anyone have any ideas?

I will say that within the past 3 weeks, her routine has majorly changed. I went from being a single stay at home mom (her seeing her dad every other weekend) to working. Her dad gets her at 11pm) she doesn't wake up) until the following day when I get out of work. She is in daycare for two hours before I get out of work. Daycare is normal for her; she attended while I went to school. A friend suggested it might be because she never knows where she is going to wake up. I think that this is a very valid point. If this is a correct assumption, what can I do to make this transition easier for her? I cannot stand to see me happy bubbly girl so angry, hurting and confused.



Also...

She is refusing to potty train for me or her father. As I mentioned, she was in daycare while I attended school, and at that daycare, she was completely potty trained. Using the big toilet without any persuasion. But the minute she got home, back to accidents, playing in pee soaked panties and jeans. If I put her on the potty, she will sit there for hours and hold it in until the minute she gets off, and she will wet her pants. In the new daycare she is in, it's the same situation. Fully using the toilet and refusing to at home. I could pull out my hair! LOL

Again, any suggestion to either issue would be greatly appreciated.
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momuv4girls responded:
I think you answered your own question - - 3 weeks ago her routine has majorly changed......This seems to be part of the problem, but I would also agree with your friend about not knowing where she is going to wake up.
This is very disruptive for a child, also the fact of going back and forth between two homes, and daycare, and with you working now, it sounds like her little world is chaotic.

I would suggest sitting down with her Dad and finding the least disruptive routine, and sticking with it for a good long time. It seems like your daughter is really sensitive and it sounds to me like she is "telling" you how disrupted she is by not wanting to be potty trained at home anymore.

I would suggest not pushing the potty training at home until you guys work out a more calm, less disruptive schedule, then in time your daughter will fall back into her potty routine.

Take care,
-Kathleen
 
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mrswhitecastle replied to momuv4girls's response:
I agree with PP. Also, it sounds like she is in a different daycare than before. It may take her awhile to get used to the new daycare, even if she is used to going to a daycare.
Emily (7) Elizabeth (5)


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