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My 8yr old son has started masturbating,...
mrshecei30 posted:
My son, who is 8, almost 9, has recently started masturbating. We've caught him numerous times with one or both hands in his pants, and I can tell it's not just "holding" or "touching" that's happening. He's usually been caught by me or my husband when he's laying on the couch watching tv. The subject matter of what he's watching has no connection to this, he could be watching Disney channel or HGTV, nothing inappropriate is "stimulating" him physically. I know it's totally normal for boys to explore their body, I have no problem with that and I want him to feel comfortable with his private parts,... My questions are more along the lines of "How can we explain to him that it's ok to experience making yourself feel good, so to speak, but that he shouldn't do it in the living room, or where people may see him." Also, he just started this in the last week or so, and I swear, almost every time in walk into the room I catch him, probably 5-6 times in an evening. I've said to him "please take your hands out of your pants.",... He does and then he has covered up with a blanket too, thinking I can't tell what he's doing. My husband and I had a very brief conversation with him, basically saying "it's normal & ok to touch your penis, but please do it in privacy, like your bedroom or bathroom, that way we don't catch you and you won't feel weird or like you're doing something wrong"

All that being said, I'm curious if he is actually getting an erection or if it simply feels good to rub it without? Should I have the whole "sex talk" with him now, or just a talk about masturbation being normal? As his mom, would it be more comfortable to have his dad explain things "man to man", or is it best to sit him down & have both parents be involved in the conversation? I don't want him to feel any more uncomfortable than he already will be just talking about it, but I want him to know that both his mom and dad are very open to any questions he has or anything he wants to talk about...

Please respond with any advice from experience raising sons, I would greatly appreciate it! THANKS!
mom2quads responded:
I was just going to post this same situation about my son, who just turned 11. I started noticing him doing these same things about 2 years ago that you are describing. I hope someone posts some advice for you!
fcl responded:
As you've already explained the rules to hime, every time you notice him doing this you simply tell him that if he wants to do that to go to his room or the bathroom. Rinse and repeat as necessary

As for the "sex talk", we never had one. I simply answered all of my children's questions about sex (with age-appropriate) information as they came up. The result is that they are fully informed and know they can ask me about anything. I cannot imagine anything more excruciatingly embarrassing for a child than a sex talk if there has been no prior work up to it.

Good luck!
11yearoldkid responded:
Hello I am 11 years old but know more than what a 18 year old knows about life. I started to masturbate about a year ago and I idnt feel wierd I felt pleasured. I think you shouldn't talk to him about it. When he turns 11 he will learn about that in school, health class. But if think thats to long sit him down and tell him that it is perfectly normal and that even some of his friends might even be masturbating. If this is a little creepy, im sorry im just trying to help...
tlkittycat1968 replied to 11yearoldkid's response:
And what if he doesn't find out about it in health class? Not every school covers that.
liscie8 replied to 11yearoldkid's response:
Your so cute!!! I could see my 11 year old son saying exactly what u did.
stg12345 responded:
I wouldn't want to have a sex talk withvmyvparents it's really embarasing your son propably saw his friends doing this or a bigger boy at school or even his father what I meen is that in this age he doen't get an erection so he will propably stop it sooncand start it when he is older . You should hive him warning about doing that in the living room but make them a little gently in order not to make him feel embarased thanks for your time
hasanwally responded:
iam still young iam 15 and i started doing the same thing probably 5 years ago and is till remember this my dad always used to get my hands out of my pants and imom used to say what are you doing get your hands out they made me feel guilty till i got sick of it and told them why i do it , simply it,s so comfortable for a male in any age to make his ball sack warm so all the young ones do it just to feel more comfortable.
thepd replied to stg12345's response:
Actually boys can get erection at any age even babies. Since I can remember, I always got an erection if I was busting for a pee and sometimes it was spontaneous. It's normal for boys to get hard at any age, it's not a sexual thing, just a normal bodily function. It's sperm that he cannot produce at that age. Misconception that boys can't get an erection before puberty because they can. It's perfectly normal.
skxkdkdk responded:
To be honest I masturbated when I was that age too. And you do get erections at that age. Around eight the erection is very hard but at the age of nine they will usually find out about pornagraphy and sex on there own via, friends, internet, etc.
craig70 responded:
What are the 'house rules' on privacy? He seems pretty comfortable with 'in the living room and nobody else is
there' is private. So, what is your problem? Perhaps instead
of 'get your hands out of your pants or go to your room' you
might suggest 'wouldn't it be more convenient if you just
took your pants off?'

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