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Raising fit Kids

Beyond Swear Words !!
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Andrew Adesman, MD posted:
Although I assume all households prohibit their children from using crude or offensive words relating to sex, body parts, ethnicity, race, gender orentation, a handicapping condition, etc, I would like to ask whether there are any non-swear words that are banned in your homes. I am not referring to curse words, but rather words that are "clean" but nonetheless send the wrong message.

Two of the words that have long been banned in my own household are "hate" and "starving" -- or at least when used in the first person. For years, I have encouraged my kids to never say "I hate..." and instead say "I don't like..."

I also do not allow the word "starving". I encourage them to instead say that they are hungary (or VERY hungary). Although "starving" is commonly used colloquially by most people to mean "hungary", I prefer to limit "starving" for those who are malnourished and do not get enough food on a regular basis. I think that we raise our consciousness when we recognize this distinction.

I would encourage parents to reflect on these two words and to try to get away from allowing them in your home. I am also interested to hear from others as to what "clean" words are not allowed in your home.
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beachgirl64 responded:
"I hate" is banned along with

"shut up" we feel it is extremely rude

"I don't know" as a reason for not wanting to do something or why they did something.
 
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Louise_WebMD_Staff responded:
Clean words not allowed in this house: fat, hate, can't, and sucks.
 
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cyn22mull responded:
Hate, sucks are the only ones so far. I am wondering about "yeah"....My DS is only 2 but I asked him a question last night and he replyed with yeah. I would much rather him say "yes"
 
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aprilofvt responded:
I find that I have contextual issues with words.

Jesus is one that isn't banned but we have to be clarify appropriate context and companion words...its hard for children to understand the difference between using Jesus in the sentance, "Jesus is good," vs. "Jesus! I am so mad!" As a daycare provider, I do not attempt to promote religion in one way or another but I do know that many people take offense to miss uses of religious words and so I try to curb it.

Yuck, gross, disgusting are not allowed in reference to meals. I feel it is inappropriate to insult someone's hard worked meals; instead an "I don't care for this" is more acceptable.
 
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Andrew Adesman, MD replied to cyn22mull's response:
I agree that "yeah" is an unacceptbale response in general. Whenever appropriate, I have generally expected my kids to respond to yes/no questions with either a "yes, please" or a "no, thank you". I will ask them to repeat their answer if they lapse and simply give a 1-word answer. Although I know there is a temptation (and tendency) to forego common courtesies within the home, but I would advocate to parents of young children that this one is easy to maintain once established. Of course, it helps if parents set the right example and practice what they preach.
 
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carolinaricci responded:
"hate" "stupid", "can't stand", "disgusting" when referred to food, "fat" "god" when not used to speak about religion. i think those are the most common ones in our house, but there are plenty of phrases that are not permitted, such as "im not your sister anymore" or "i dont love you anymore"
 
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shan_Chez replied to Andrew Adesman, MD's response:
We dont allow "whatever" from children or adults. Also, We dont allow texting slang....omg, lol, idk, things of that nature....it's inappropiate to use to the grandparents!!!
 
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LilSarahJD replied to shan_Chez's response:
I don't allow the word "can't" It is particularly upsetting since I do everything without having hands. My sons are not allowed to say can't. They can say instead that it is hard. Other words are hate, stupid, dumb, retarded, God's name in vain in any way, and any degrading descriptive word for another human being. I don't like when I hear the phrase she is "special" either. People with disabilities are not special...just different. Aren't we all different one way or another anyway?
 
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sunnys2686 responded:
The word " hate" is banned in my house, when my daughter speaks of "starving" i explain to her that there are millions of people in the world that are literally starving and there are other ways to describe how hungry she is.
 
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An_221847 replied to sunnys2686's response:
Are you serious? I can completely understand words such as: "Can't" "god!" and "jesus!" in the wrong contexts, but are you really neurotic enough to disallow "starving" and "disgusting" ?

Do you really think that by not allowing certain adjectives to be used you are saving your children from not hearing them or not knowing what they mean?

Just to be clear, I do applaud you for trying to be parents.. But I assure you that the word "fat" or "starving" is not going to lead a child down the road of a junkie selling themselves on the street for another hit.
 
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Larissa_1985 replied to An_221847's response:
If you understand why the words "god" and "jesus" are banned, then you should understand why at least "starving" is in the same category. It's being used in vain when the term actually does not apply to the situation it's being used for, when in all reality, if a child says "I'm starving." they aren't and the parent is trying to get across the seriousness of such word.
 
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momof9and12 responded:
Words that are not allowed in our house are: "God", "Oh My God", "Jesus", "OMG", "shut up", "pissed" and "sucks". The kids can make their own choices about what they say when they are older, and I tell them this, but I didn't want these words/references to become unthoughtfully used and simple "habits" without meaning. I think such usage is disrespectful. To me, they also make a bad impression when hearing them come out of a child's mouth. I can't stand hearing a child say "that sucks!" Thank you all for standing up for banning your own non cuss words! A little respect goes a long way.
 
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An_221848 replied to An_221847's response:
In our house, we don't allow name-calling . . . like "neurotic". Name-calling lacks such class and has no place here - basically it's the same thing as swearing since it's using a word in vain.
 
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staceyj0709 responded:
We don't allow name-calling, I never want to hear them say something negative about another person based on race, sexuality, gender, etc. I don't have issues with using jesus or god out of religious context, honestly. To us, those are just words. I could see why someone would ban "hate", but unless it's being used in a mean manner (I hate you) I don't mind it (for example, I don't mind if she were to say, "I hate pancakes." I think of it as an expression of strong dislike and encourage colorful vocabulary. "Shut up" and "duh" have been banned so far. "Shut up", of course, is incredibly rude, and "duh" became very rude as well. She would be in for a serious talking to if I ever heard phrases such as "throws like a girl", "cried like a girl", etc.


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