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Is it because she was a micro-preemie? Very concerned...
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arl1981 posted:
Long story short, my 3yr old was a 24 weeker @ 1lb, 7oz. A short bout of stage 1 ROP, but other than that she's in perfect PERFECT health, with the exception of one concern that is growing between me, my husband, and my mother in law (who cares for her while we are working).
The size of her clitoris is not normal. When she's bathed or wiped with a wipee during a pull-up change, it seems to get larger and it extends but - in the way a penis would! She does seem to get bothered whenever I clean down there - like it bothers her to the touch...even when she was a baby she would show a little discomfort when wiping her down during a diaper change (squirming or trying to clinch her legs closed). I've expressed this to her pediatrician and even showed her and she dismissed it saying because she was a micro-preemie, she still has to "grow into herself".
Now - I've done research on the net on what it could possibly be (I forgot the formal name of the condition), and nothing I've read eased my mind and now I'm in a state of confusion. It's either I subject my child to ridicule and humiliation because she has an oversized clitoris and ruin her emotionally and socially...or I opt to explore the possibility of this 'corrective surgery' to make it a 'normal' size, but ruin her sexual life as a grown up because this surgery removes any sensation she can ever have.
I just want to do the right thing for HER, but I don't know enough about this and don't even know what kind of specialist to take her to. It just makes me so angry because I don't want anything but the best life for my children (this is my 2nd girl) and I'm now faced with a road I've never thought I had to go down......anyone with any input? Please? Thank you!
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Brubee responded:
Hello I am sorry you have to deal with this. If this were my daughter I would be really worried too! As far as surgery or something like that, I would not make any decisions for a while. I completely understand your worry over the possible ridicule by her future peers, kids can be mean! It may be that the doc is right or you could try getting a second opinion. All that being said if this were my daughter I would not do anything about it unless it became a great discomfort to her. By the way my two year old hates to be wiped around her clitoris so maybe its uncomfortable to all little girls? I really dont know. My prayers are with you as you tread this path that you have been thrust upon. ~B~
 
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sarahann1978 responded:
It's just my opinion, but where I went to school everyone was very modest and I can't say I ever saw anyone else's clitoris in school so I don't think she will be ridiculed about it. The first time that I think it might be an issue is when she becomes intimate and by then she would be old enough to make the decision to have surgery herself.

If it is causing her problems now with discomfort, then maybe it would be worth looking into, but I would not make her go through the surgery at this point just for a vanity reason since it's a private area that others really shouldn't see anyway.

I'm sure it's hard to think about, and I hope it will all turn out to be ok for her.
 
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Andrew Adesman, MD responded:
Difficult as it may be, I would try to take a deep breath -- and -- I would definitely not pursue any surgery at this stage.

If you want to explore medical causes, I would strongly encourage you to go to a pediatric endocrinolgist for evaluation. In addition to doing some blood work for hormone levels, he or she may also order some straight-forward genetic tests. Hopefully you have this type of specialist nearby; if not, I would suggest you make arrangements to see one in a neighboring city. If you cannot do this immediately, you could also get another opinion from a different general pediatrician. But, I woud still push for the sub-specialty consultation.

Good luck.
 
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arl1981 replied to Andrew Adesman, MD's response:
Thank you all so much for your feedback! Thanks for the prayers, Brubee...

To Sarahann: That is what I meant to say. In her later years (whether in high school or college - on her wedding night if it were up to me! lol) I'm afraid she'll face this because yes, peers can be oh so mean. And unfortunately for me, I have a mother in law who thinks, as a mother, i'm not doing the right thing for my kid by NOT doing anything about it, even after taking her to see what her ped would say...

Thank you, Dr. Adesman - now that I know what kind of specialist to take her to, I will do just that. Luckily, I live in a major city and those specialists are easily accessible.
 
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Brubee replied to arl1981's response:
Oh honey dont let your MIL get your goose! They always think they know best, but you are her mommy and will do right by her! Good luck on getting the answers you need. ~B~
 
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Andrew Adesman, MD replied to Brubee's response:
In medicine, we say "never say 'never'." I would suggest the same admonition when it comes to MIL-bashing and a presumption they are always wrong. Mothers and fathers should seek guidance from a multitude of trusted and knowledgable sources. (Good intentions are not enough). Weigh your options, reach out to experts, and proceed -- sometimes with action and sometimes (as in this case) to get information from a more appropriate specialist.

I am glad you live in a major city. A pediatric endocrinologist will definintely be able to give you the guidance you need. Until then, follow the very first suggestion in my post above.
 
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Brubee replied to Andrew Adesman, MD's response:
Hello, I may have been misunderstood. I was not trying to bash her MIL. I was simply trying to lend her some support, based on her statement, in standing her ground and doing what she thought best for her daughter. Again I am sorry for any misunderstanding.


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