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    Going out of my mind
    SC_Momof1 posted:
    I have a son who just turned 4 in August. He has never been to daycare or school and is always with either myself or my husband. We are currently homeschooling him since he is advanced for his age academically. We have recently joined a science coop ( he loves science) and has trouble sitting down and working with the other kids although when it comes to playground time he has no problem playing with the other kids. He loves playing with other kids. He has major trouble sticking with something for very long. Recently after getting all excited about doing soccer this year, we signed him up, and during the practices my husband had to be on the field for him to participate and then when it came to games he would just walk off the field and throw a huge fit.

    He seems very anxious and not able to participate in group activities because he only wants to do what he wants to do. This is a continuing theme for him. He is the only one of his friends who is an only child. I think a lot of the problems stem from being an only child. Should I get him evaluated for behavioral problems. What am I doing wrong because I feel like a terrible parent almost all of the time?
    momuv4girls responded:
    Your son doesn't sound too out of line for a 4 year old. Some children have no issues with participating in group activities at an early age, and others can get a bit anxious about it.

    My daughter DID have a hard time with group activities/sports, but she also had an awful time on the playyard at school and with her peers. She could never get along with them, would be bossy and mean (beyond the typical child), and by age 6, I knew I had to have her evaluated.

    So the fact that your son does do well with children in a non-structured setting is a good thing.

    I do have a couple of ideas......what about taking him to soccer, having him dress out and then just let him watch.
    Tell the coach about what is going on and ask him not to put your son in to play until he suggests it.
    Maybe by watching the kids for awhile, he will get used to the idea of playing and ask to go in. It may take a game or 3 until he asks, but this way he gets to control when he plays.

    Next, if the whole soccer thing doesn't work out, then try a sport like swimming or karate. They are individual sports, yet you are with a group.

    As far as your son not sitting through science group....well, he is only 4 and this if fairly typical of boys at this age, I wouldn't worry yet. Just try to keep his group that he works with maybe 1 or 2 other kids - - he may just get easily distracted.

    Hope this helps some, take care!
    SC_Momof1 replied to momuv4girls's response:
    Thanks Kathleen. There is only 3 more weeks, the first 4 weeks were practice. It is only an 8 week season so I think we will just leave it alone. Many of the other kids were a little older, they grouped 4-5 year olds and after the 1st game last week we realized many of the parents seemed a lot more competitive than they should be for this age and were instilling that into their kids. It also did not help that the coach was a young kid himself and really did nothing to help the fact that ds did not want to participate. If the session were longer than I think we would try that, but if ds is not having fun than I see no point in doing it. He does love to swim so we may look into that thanks. The problem I think with science coop is that ds gets things right away and grasps things way beyond his years, thus the problem we are having since academically in most subjects is ready for 1st grade, but in terms of "maturity" for lack of a better word he is still a pre-schooler. I may have to just do what we can and wait it out until he gets a little older and just do playdates for now.


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