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How to get a child who doesn't care, care.
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An_222029 posted:
My child is 15 years old, and all my childs life he states he doesn't care. I have tried incentives for him to get chores done, school work done, doesn't matter. My child wants to be in full control of when things get done versus when teacher states it should be completed or us. I have thought of counseling but not a big fan of it. Have suggestions or helpful ideas would be great.

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momuv4girls responded:
I see no reason why you shouldn't seek out professional help here. It certainly couldn't hurt, and most likely help.

I take my 16 year old (who I don't see eye to eye with) to see an adolescent psychologist. She will visit with her, then I will visit with her and then once a month or so, we'll chat with the Dr. together.
A professional can put things in a different "light" for both of you and they are a neutral party who can see outside the emotions.

I'd highly recommend it!
-Kathleen
 
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Roy Benaroch, MD responded:
I'm curious-- he says he doesn't care, but what does he actually do? Does he get enough schoolwork done on time to pass or do reasonably well? He's 15-- is he taking care of himself, his looks, his hygeine enough to attract a special someone? Does he get things done when his friends ask him for a favor?

Attitudes are important, but more important is how he's doing, functionally. I would be far more worried if he's failing his classes, has no friends, and actually does nothing than if despite his "I don't care" attitude, he's functioning reasonably well for a teenager.
 
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Roy Benaroch, MD replied to momuv4girls's response:
"I have thought of counseling but not a big fan of it."

I wonder, perhaps, have you had a bad experience with counseling yourself?

Talk with your child's physician about local resources for counseling to help find someone who's good at communicating with teens. If you do decide to pursue counseling, you'll need to go into it with a positive attitude and expectations for success-- or you're wasting your time.