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Rules that still work
Roy Benaroch, MD posted:
Times have changed, sure, but some rules still make sense. Can you think of rules that your parents made you live by, that still make sense today? Do you find yourself ever quoting your own parents to your children?

We ALWAYS (I mean always!) were expected to be at the dinner table at dinnertime. No matter how important "the game" was, or whatever else we had planned, dinner was dinner, and dinner was with family in my house growing up. I didn't realize, then, how important that was, and how important I would make dinnertime for my own kids 20 years later.

What examples can you think of: rules from your parents that you still quote and enforce? What rules do you want your own children to pass on to their kids someday?
Lainey_WebMD_Staff responded:
Dinner time is very relaxed in our home because my husband works odd hours. Our stern rules are computer safety, family time, and chores.
kay_kay75 responded:
The first one that comes to mind for me is you have to try a bite of everything that is being served unless there is an allergy.
Second would be respect for your parents and siblings, we were not terrified of my Father but he had "that look" that you knew you were in trouble, I want that same respect from my children, I am the adult and in charge not the kids.
There are more but those are the first that come to mind
melbournefreelancer responded:
I started out thinking I should follow in my parents' footsteps where parenting is concerned. I still try to enforce meal times together, night time curfews, and not wasting food regimens. Other than that, however, I find that times have changed too much to stick fruitfully to past routines. It just doesn't seem to work as it did for us. I suppose I could come down hard, but it doesn't seem to achieve much in terms of the happy family index.
So I win some and let the others go, as long as a semblance of order and sanity is maintained. Meanwhile I've formed new rules which I believe my kids can carry forward; such as watching TV is a family thing and not a lone pursuit, family cooking on Sundays, etc....
Roy Benaroch, MD replied to melbournefreelancer's response:
Some rules have to change, or are a product of changing times. No computers-- or at least no internet access-- in bedrooms is probably nothing my parents would have ever thought of. We did though grow up without TVs in our bedrooms, which is still the way my house is. Better for kids, better for families, better for marriages, too.
melbournefreelancer replied to Roy Benaroch, MD's response:
Absolutely! TV viewing can become addictive to the degree it breaks up relationships, and what's sad is most folks don't get this. Our cable broke down and nobody bothered getting it fixed. Kids gave up complaining after about a month or so. This was over a year ago. Now we use the telly to watch DVDs together, and the peace and quiet at other times is awesome.
eastcoastbeachgirl replied to melbournefreelancer's response:
We have family dinner every night with out fail, we even eat some nights at 5pm because I work at night and have to be there by 6pm. I hope to continue this for as long as possible. I hated family dinner growing up, it's funny though some of the best memories I have from childhood revolve around family dinner time.

Also, we don't allow tv's or internet in the bedrooms. We have family movie night (sometimes afternoon) every week. Growing up we had "family day" for a fun activity, no friends allowed. We have started the same tradition in our family, time for us to connect as a family.
melbournefreelancer replied to eastcoastbeachgirl's response:
Wow, you've really devoted a lot of thought,energy, time, and effort to your family's well-being. The rewards you're going to reap is going to be awesome. I firmly believe no job pays like thoughtful parenting. Immediate returns may be zilch, but in the long run you won't stop smiling. And it's a funny fact that what we often fought against as kids is what we find ourselves enforcing as parents. I remember Mum saying, "I hope you have kids just like you."

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