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Pacifers!! HELP
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csummers38 posted:
I Have a 15 month old Son and i want to break him from his pacifer. how do i do that as pain less as possible. I am a night shift working mom. when i am home during the day and on the weekends he is only allowed his pacifer at nap time bed time and the car rides. but his dad who has him while i am working lets him have it whenever he wants. so how can i break him from his pacifier where his lazy dad will wanna go algo with it because it will be easy and painless
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lestersgirls responded:
This is a tough one! I went through the same thing though, but my kids were 3 1/2 and 2 and still had pacifiers! I decided to "cold turkey" them. I thought it was going to be torturous and heartbreaking but it wasn't so bad. We gathered them all up and put them in a box. I explained to them that there were little babies out there that could use them and we would give them away (of course, they just went in the trash). The first night was a lot of crying, pleading , and bargaining, but we all cheered the next morning when they realized they had made it and they were fine after that. Good luck!
 
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phoenix31674 responded:
First you need to get dad onboard. With DD, we went to naps and car rides. as each binky wore out, we told her it was broken and that we needed to throw it away until the last one was gone. This did take a while, but it worked. Because she saw other ones go first, it was fairly painless, but she was over 3. Though from about 2 on she did not get them during the day. Honestly, if it makes them happy, it doesn't do any harm to let them have the pacifiers until they are well over 4. I think it's a parental personal preference thing, so if you really don't want it, you can try the cold turkey method or try something like have them 'break' over a period of a few weeks/months.
 
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csummers38 replied to phoenix31674's response:
His dad is just whats ever easiest and keeps him from crying. he sleeps in our room because its easiest for him to put him to sleep at night. i want to move him back in his own bedroom but of course that would make it harder for daddy to put him to bed at night. i just want my bedroom back and break him from the pacifier and daddy to be on board but the only way that will happen is if it is easy and not too much crying and fit throwing! if not he wont go algo with it while im at work at night
 
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phoenix31674 replied to csummers38's response:
The two of you are going to need to be on the same page. Since you are trying to break two habits, I would suggest going for getting him to his room first. Once your son is comfortable going to sleep in his own room would be a good time to start the pacifier weaning or cold turkey. I would give him at least a couple of weeks to get used to the new arrangement.

Unless you can get dad working with you, none of this will work. One evening or nap time when your son is asleep, sit down with dad and let him know why you think your son sleeping in his own room and breaking him of the pacifier habit is important to you and get him to agree to a set of guidelines for sleep and pacifier use. You just need to remind dad that parenting is not easy and the adults should be the ones in charge, not the kids.

If you want a minimum of fuss, you might need to wait until your son is over 2 and able to understand better why his pacis are going away either with the 'needed for new babies', getting rid of them as they break or letting him know that big boys don't use pacifiers. at 15 months it's going to be very hard to get him to give them up without fuss since he's just too young to understand. But perhaps trying to start with taking them away for naps would be the way to go and see if he can do that.
 
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Roy Benaroch, MD replied to phoenix31674's response:
I completely agree: you and dad need to be on same page, or you're getting nowhere with this.

Just to throw some gasoline on the fire, though: I don't know of a medically or developmental reason why you have to stop paci use at this age. At 15 months, it's not as if Junior is smoking or drinking or indulging in a habit that is genuinely harmful.

However, if you and dad agree it's time to get them out of the house, just do it. Throw them all away. In 2 days, it's over and done with.

BTW this is a great line from Phoenix: "You just need to remind dad that parenting is not easy and the adults should be the ones in charge, not the kids."
 
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csummers38 replied to Roy Benaroch, MD's response:
Thank you! his dr says it time to start talking the pacifer away. so i though i had to but maybe it will be best to let him keep it for a little longer. she says it impars him learning to talk if he is sucking on a pacifer all the time
 
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phoenix31674 replied to csummers38's response:
My daughter did not get weaned off daytime pacifier until after 2 and she was talking up a storm with it. If he's just using it when sleeping or in the car or some other unusual situation i don't see how it could hurt his talking. Other parents have kids who talk just fine with the pacifier, too.

If he is speech delayed, there might be some other issue since he's not using the pacifier all the time. Of course my one nephew just started speaking whole sentences at about 3 years without having really uttered a word prior. That did not do his younger brother any favors because SIL wasn't worried about her youngest's lack of speech for that reason. Turns out my youngest nephew is mildly autistic. No one really thought to test him since his brother had started talking too late - though there were other signs he was on the spectrum such as lack of eye contact, not wanting to play with others, sensory overload when he was away from home, high stranger anxiety, but neither SIL nor MIL had any experience with austism and missed those signs/were in denial.

I'm not trying to scare you, I just know that for every doc/parent who says pacifiers cause speech delays, you will find one who thinks that's bunk and can point out children using pacis who talk just fine. I can't even recall DD's doc asking about pacifier use - that's how low it was on his radar. He would just ask if she knew ___ number of words and since she did, he didn't dwell on it.
 
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csummers38 replied to phoenix31674's response:
he knows about 5-15 words i think and he is 15 months. he only really uses it when he is sleeping and car rides or if he is just having a really bad day ususally we just try and hid it during the day so he wont want it.
 
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phoenix31674 replied to csummers38's response:
That sounds about right for words. I think with you curbing daytime use, you probably don't have anything to worry about by letting him keep his paci. There are some pedis out there who are really anti paci, but I never saw the harm. Heck, my brother was a big time binky user and he never had problems speaking and is just fine 32 years later. i think we are hard pressed to find a picture of him under 4 where he doesn't have it in his mouth.

I just did a quick google and even some speech therapists see nothing wrong with occasional pacifier use. Though you will find some who do. Most articles I skimmed said as long as your child isn't constantly using one, they should be fine. Which yours isn't. Here's one article.

http://teachmetotalk.com/2008/03/30/using-sippy-cups-and-pacifiers-will-they-help-or-hurt-my-late-talking-toddler/

With my daughter, i used to tell her I couldn't understand her if she had teh paci in and she would take it out.

Right now I have the opposite problem, trying to get my 15 week old son to use one so that he doesn't constantly need to suckle to soothe himself so I can have some peace. LOL
 
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csummers38 replied to phoenix31674's response:
l0l. yeah i had the same issue with him accually taking a paci for the first three months. but now he is hooked. i just got worried and throught i absolutly had to break him fast or else it would take him longer to learn to talk. he is an riot though. cracks me up the things he copys and learns ill have to take a look at that article. thank you
 
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mom2aboy3 responded:
hi i dont see where your going to have problems and all we kept saying when our son turns 18 months the paci we didnt want him having in first place was going in trash low and be hold my son threw it in the trash one day and so we kept giving himm the pacis we were finding all over the house that day and he had thrown every single one of them out we had no fussing nothing so we took him to toy store and let him get a toy for beeing a big boy about it a friend of mine actually told me to have him put it in the mail box so the paci fairy could bring him a treat and see how it worked and what you do is take him to the mailbox tell him theres a fairy that will bring him a surprise if he gave the fairy his paci then the next day take him back but make sure you put a treat in there but im not sure everything has been so easy as that with my son bottles were gone by 13 months he was potty trained by 2 in half he just keeps waking up and not wanting everything lol now if only eating could be what was easy for us lol