I really need help on this. I an currently pregnant with my second child. My first child was born out of marriage he is now 8. He was circumcised. I am now married and I am due in July (he will also be a boy). Last night we were sitting in the living room and out of no where the question about whether or not the baby will be circumcised came up. I say yes, he says no. He says no because of religious belief i say yes because I have seen first hand what happens to toddlers, teens, etc. when they are not circumcised and acquire an infection. My husbands deal is we were born this way, nothing is wrong with mine, etc. I really need opinions because as of right now this whole situation is getting out of hand.
I agree, you two need to come to an agreement on this. Unfortunately, both sides of this issue routinely exaggerate their positions, and it's difficult to find reasonable, measured opinions about circumcision on the internet.
First: keep in mind that the vast majority of men, circumcised or not, are entirely happy with their penises (or if they're unhappy, it truly has nothing to do with their penis one may or the other.) Most circumcised men have never had any complications or problems with sensation or whatever, and most not-circumcised men have likewise never had a problem with infections or trouble with hygiene. This whole issue is being blown into some kind of huge monumental decision, and it really shouldn't be. Either way, your son will be fine.
If I understand your particular situation right, your husband is not circumcised, and he feels that's the way to go. Realize that by your saying that you prefer a circumcision for your son, he's hearing that you prefer a circumcised penis. Which your husband doesn't have. I don't want to sound like a neanderthal, here, but I might as well say it: Men don't like it when their wives are unhappy with their equipment. You may think you are talking about a decision on whether to circumcise your son, but it's likely that your husband is looking at this decision in a very different way: what kind of penis does my wife like? I'm not saying he's right, but I am saying that it may be a good idea to try to look at this from his point of view.
(I realize I'm probably going to get flamed now from both our pro-circ and anti-circ denizens. This subject seems to repel civility somehow.)
I honestly left the choice up to my husband. Had he said he had no opinion, I wouldn't have done it, but I felt that as someone without those parts, it wasn't my place to make the decision.
Perhaps the two of you can make an objective list of pros and cons and come to a consensus, but something tells me he's going to be pretty inflexible about inflicting pain on his little guy since he's un-circed.
If you teach your son about hygiene and have his dad question him about it regularly once you are no longer bathing him, he should not have an issue with infection. Clearly your husband made it this long in tact, so he would be the one to teach your son how to care for himself, so you should probably leave the hygiene issue out of it. The STD issue might be a good argument, but everyone thinks their kid is going to be the good kid who always uses protection and doesn't sleep around when they grow up.
Like the doctor said, your husband may see your insistence as you disapproving of his in tact penis and wishing he were circumcised - which will put his back up further.
I think it's just a case of learning how to take care of oneself properly. I live in a country where few men are circumcized and I have yet to see an infected penis. If you can teach a child to keep his ears clean why not just do the same for his penis?
Besides, girls can get infections too but what do we do to avoid that? :) We just accept it and treat it, don't we?
Yes, I'm of the "if it ain't broke why fix it?" school :)
I, too, left the decision up to my husband. This was one where I felt he was better 'equipped' to have an opinion! Really something you need to come to an agreement on and be happy with it. No right or wrong answer with this one, really a matter of opinion. (And if you're looking for what we did - he's uncircumcised).
And I agree with Dr Benaroch. I've had more meddling people question me about our decision and insist I made the wrong choice. I now refuse to tell people because of how heated it gets.
I have always wondered about what I would do in this situtation- I would like to have a boy someday. As a nurse I have seen circs done and I am not conviced that they are any more uncomfortable than the many blood sticks that they do to newborns, pain meds are used and the little guys settle down really quickly after. But I kind of like the 'aint broke don't fix it' approch myself. Risk of infection in an intact penis is still pretty low, so that doesn't convince me either. the only issues I worry about is my husband is circed, and I would be afraid that the little guy would wonder why he didn't look like dad. My mother in law, who takes care of my daughter during the week, is very old fasioned on this, and has encouraged us to circ any boy we have, because in her opinion it is 'gross' to be uncirct. So I am really not looking forward to the argument that will be!
I love your response. You're not a neanderthal...you're honest.
And I left the choice up to my husband (who is uncircumsized due to cultural differences).
He chose not to circumsize our boys. The boys have never had a problem with their equipment (ha!) and my husband has shown them how to properly wash and "care" for their equipment.
Either way...I don't find either type of penis to be a big deal. I don't think they are unclean or get infected one way or the other. If anything could get infected, I would think it would be the penis who has the foreskin surgically removed!
iluboston, You REALLY need to check out <a href="http://circumcisiondecisionmaker.com/">Circumcision Decision-Maker.</a> Go through the Decide process for every reason you or your husband have for wanting or not wanting circumcision, including what to tell your newest son if he notices that he's different than his brother.
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