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    Potty Training Expectations
    Laura Jana, MD posted:
    Many parents who have been challenged by a potty-resistant child have asked the same question, "What do I have to do to change my child's attitude towards potty training?" There are quick and easy things you can buy, read, and say to get your child to be more willing to step up to the toilet. But it's also worth taking a step back and thinking about your own attitude towards potty training. All too often, I find that even the most tolerant parents are prone to becoming frustrated with, angry at, or end up doing battle with a potty-resistant child. I can tell you that this type of approach doesn't usually work very well.

    In the spirit of creating a smoother and more peaceful potty training process, I recommend that parents and caregivers keep these thoughts in mind:

    ? You and your child are on the same team. A positive and supportive approach is far more likely to get your child to follow you to the potty than anger and frustration.

    ? Consider it potty learning rather than potty training. This style of thinking will help you see using the potty as an ongoing process, rather than a task to be mastered in a day.

    ? Set realistic expectations. Competing with your neighbor's potty-trained-in-a-day toddler, or reading books and articles that promise instant results can cause unrealistic expectations on your part. Make sure you know if your child is showing signs they're ready to start potty training, and expect accidents to happen.

    ? Seeing is believing. Simply put, children are more likely to do as you do - than as you say - inside and outside of the bathroom. If you aren't in the habit of allowing your child to see you modeling good "potty behavior," you should be.

    Parental attitude is an important part of helping children learn to use the potty. A positive and supportive attitude will win out over a negative one any day. Do you agree? What's helping you train your toddler to use the potty? Share your potty training tips, thoughts, and frustrations here!
    phoenix31674 responded:
    I had a very potty resistant child. She was close to 3.5 before she would pee on the potty. I tried everything, but she wasn't willing to play along. I let her come in and see mommy using the potty. I offered her rewards/bribes for peeing on the potty. I rolled up the carpets and let her go diaper free. I asked her every 10 minutes if she had to go. I made her sit on the potty. Finally she did decide it was time to go. Not sure why.

    Pooping has taken almost 6 months more for her, but she is finally consistently pooping on the potty at almost 4 (birthday end of April).

    i honestly don't know what it took for her to cross these bridges. We did make a very big deal of all successes. Now that she does poop consistently, we can guilt free make good of the promise to go see Mickey at Disneyland (reservations in May).

    I don't want to think about what it will take to get her night/napped trained, but to not have to clean her poopy diapers is amazing.
    cujaybird responded:
    I have a toddler who is very willing to sit on the potty but won't actually go in it. She'll sit there for a long time and read books, etc. But she won't go and then as soon as I put a diaper back on her she goes in that a short time later. She tells me when she is about to poop in her diaper so I know that she recognizes when it is about to happen. Not sure how to get her to let it go in the potty though. Any advice?
    phoenix31674 replied to cujaybird's response:
    That's exactly what my little one did. She just finally one day decided to go. I'm not sure why or how, but it just happened. Just keep persevering.
    cujaybird replied to phoenix31674's response:
    Thanks. We had a little progress today, she peed a little tiny bit on the potty twice, but then she stood up and went the rest of the way on the floor both times! I don't know how to get her to empty her bladder on there, but going a little bit was at least some progress. I had her in undies for a little while and she peed in them too. We've only been at it for about a week and I'm trying not to put too much pressure on it. I may try a "3 Day Method" type thing in a few weeks if it seems like she's not getting it.
    phoenix31674 replied to cujaybird's response:
    I had to try the diaper free method about 4 times before she finally decided to pee on the potty. Thankfully we have tile floor so all i had to do was roll up the carpet, but I really got tired of her peeing her pants. I don't have an easy way to get the cloth training pants here and I was afraid to order them because by they time they'd show up, she would have figured it out. I kept the potty in the living room and would ask her constantly if she had to pee. I didn't do the kitchen timer thing because the only ones they carried at the store here were $10 and I know in the States you can get them for closer to $3, but might be worth using that.

    When she was around 3 i'd ask her if she had to pee, but didn't get serious about it until after her 3rd birthday and the last big trip was done shortly after her birthday. So it was May I went diaper free the first time. It was august before she would finally reliably pee on the potty more than just the odd trickle, but once she got it, it only took that one day for her to mostly get it. It was a couple more months before I felt comfortable taking her out in just panties. Now she's generally very good though I make her pee before getting into something like a playground where she will forget to tell me she has to go.

    Pooping took another several months. She had a potty chart I put up with 5 blanks for a big prize. It took her 3 weeks to fill it up from the first successful complete poop in the potty. She would first make a couple, say she was done, then go upstairs and poop in her diaper for nap or bed time. But generally I could let her sit on the potty for as long as 45 minutes and nothing, but within 2 minutes of going to bed, she'd come back down with poopy pants. Putting the potty in her room didn't work - she just played with it, made a mess, then came and told me she pooped herself. This last week she has done really well with the potty - the only accident was when she got sent to her room for not listening and it was close enough to bed time that her poop reflex took over. We even went out of town and she only pooped in the potty.

    I'm hoping to get her to poop straight into the big potty before our next trip in early May so we don't have to take the seat with us, but I'm not hopeful. I know i'd want my feet on something, but at least I've got her going with the seat on the big potty now so I don't have to clean the pot out. yuck.

    Just be patient and don't push too hard. Just ask a million times. You will sound and feel like a broken record, but eventually she will get it. I hope that it won't take you the 3 months it took me. Though in our case, it might have had something to do with my husband being deployed. She started peeing in the potty when he got home and we rolled up the carpets again.
    MelTT; responded:
    My son just turned 2, so potty training is a little ways away. We're waiting for his cues that he's ready to try. Has anyone had success with a long weekend of diaper-free potty training - sort of like a crash course? Friends of mine had their daughter potty trained in a single weekend by staying home, pants free, always had a potty available. The little girl just "got it" and they had very few accidents afterward. I'm curious if this has worked for other families.
    phoenix31674 replied to MelTT;'s response:
    had to try that method 3 or 4 times, but that's what i used to help her finally get it. She seemed ready the first time I tried and interested in me using the potty, but just didn't actually get it. So if the child is ready it does work.
    jlynnpaine responded:
    We just did the 3 day method with my DD who is 22 months. It worked SO well for her. It just sort clicked and she's been doing great with telling us she has to go since around noon on the first day. She doesn't always make it to the potty quite in time but will finish on the toilet. We have stayed very positive the entire time and I feel that is so important. If you get frustrated, they can sense that and may resist what you're trying to do. I don't feel she's ready for night and nap training yet so she gets a pullup to sleep in. We are so pleased with her progress and have praised her constantly for the last week every time she goes, especially for pooping which has been a little harder for her but she's getting it. We also give her a sticker for each time she pees in the potty and a bigger reward, like a cheap little necklace for when she gets poop in the potty.

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