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I'll be the first to admit it — having to clean up after a not-quite-potty-trained child is one of my least favorite parenting responsibilities, ranking below emptying a dirty diaper bin and right around the same level as cleaning up vomit. Potty accidents can add a degree (or two) of frustration when a child who has already seemingly mastered the skills necessary to put his/her pee and poop in the potty, goes on the living room floor. But regardless of whether your child is just learning, or has almost mastered this much-anticipated life skill, I strongly believe that there is definitely a right and a wrong way for adults to handle potty accidents.

First and foremost: Never belittle or demean a child. This applies to you and to all of your child's caregivers. It's entirely normal for children to have accidents — even when they seem like outright acts of defiance -- or you think your child should know better. Even if your child is testing your limits, this age-appropriate behavior should never be met with anger, but rather with age-appropriate consequences. For younger children, this may mean taking your toddler, along with his poopy pants, and showing him where his poop should have gone (in the toilet). It also means you should consider and address any underlying causes of the accident.

Here are several important and practical ways to address potty accidents:

? Make sure your expectations are realistic and match your child's abilities. If he isn't ready to potty train, accidents are sure to happen.
? Remember that accidents might be related to any change in your child's daily routine, life, or health status. Fear, anxiety, a new sibling, constipation, drinking a lot, or a urinary tract infection are all possible reasons that can cause children to have accidents. If you suspect any of these, be sure to talk to your child's doctor.
? Children predictably act out as they test their independence -- and, at the same time, your limits. There are few things children have control of at the age of two, three or even four, so the ability to control where they poop and/or pee ranks takes on added importance to a child. (Along with going to sleep or opening their mouths to brush their teeth or try new foods). In my opinion, success is much more likely if you convince young children that they really do want to play along. You're not likely to win a battle of the wills.
? When it comes to how you handle the actual mess itself, soak, scrub, and clean up accidents very matter-of-factly. You don't have to pretend to enjoy it, but there's no need for anger or disgust.

Remember that it's the thought that counts. Remember to acknowledge your child's efforts -- even if you find yourself scrubbing poop stains out of the carpet only minutes after your child has refused to sit on the potty, or after an unsuccessful attempt to run to the potty when nature called.

Potty training is a learning process that includes skills like learning to sit on the potty just a little bit longer, and getting up to go to the potty just a little bit sooner. Like any other new skill, it will involve some trial and error.

What are your potty training thoughts and experiences? Did your child take a long time to potty train? Did you make your way through potty training relatively accident-free? Share your advice on what worked for you to help your child achieve potty success -- and also on carpet cleaning!