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Teen Maturing
Anon_228963 posted:
I have a 14 year old Bonus Daughter that I fear is not maturing at a healthy rate. Since I am new to the parenting thing I decided to go to the experts! She brings and sleeps with a stuffed animal when she is here and watches cartoons and Disney programs that seem geared toward a younger audience. She has random outbursts when watching TV similiar to much younger children. She has to be reminded daily to take a daily vitamin, not to take a 45 minute shower, to turn off a light when she leaves a room and to make up her bed. If she sees a toddler's toy she often wants to play with it or ride on it. Yesterday she walked around with a sticker from a container on her face for no apprant reason. I have an 11 year old nephew and a 16 year old Bonus son that seemed to outgrow this type of behavior years ago. I was under the impression that girls matured faster than boys. Feedback on teen maturing would be so helpful!!!!!!!!!!
Boyzmomee responded:
I see no problem sleeping with a stuffed animal, It's typical for a teen to need reminders to take a daily vitamin, to turn off the lights and to make her bed. It's also typical for a teen to take long showers.

What do her "random" outbursts look like? How does she "play" with toddler toys?

Does she have friends her own age? Does she particiapte in social activities with kids her own age? Does she live with her mother most of the time? How recent was the divorce?
Roy Benaroch, MD replied to Boyzmomee's response:
Boyzmomee has some good questions. At first glance, I would say just let her enjoy her childhood. The pressures that I see as creating problems are those that turn kids into adults too soon-- the early sexualization of girls and boys. That a 14 y/o still enjoys being a child I think is a healthy and good thing. There's still plenty of time to grow up.
raffmom responded:
She sounds a lot like my just-turned 13 yo daughter. In my daughter's case, she will swing back and forth - one moment a teen and the next a child. I also taught middle school and found that children's behavior around their peers is normally different that it is at home. Have you ever seen how your bonus daughter acts around her friends and at school? You may be surprised.

I am proud that my children have all stayed "children" longer than most. We've been careful what they were exposed to at younger ages. have 18 and 19 yo boys and they turned out fine - well, they're 18 and 19 yo boys! I'm all for kids staying kids too!

I think as long as there is balance in your bonus daughter's life, and she isn't being teased or having social problems at school... things probably are good.
Boyzmomee replied to raffmom's response:
I've found that with my now 21 year old son, I stopped treating him like a "boy" at age 18...then he started acting like a man.

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