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Daycare bullying
tothebeach4 posted:
My son is 22 months and goes to an all-day daycare. He is a very sweet, gentle, and thoughtful child and we've never had any issues with hitting, pushing or kicking... until...

About 4 months ago, a new little boy came into his class at daycare. I started to notice at drop-off and pick-up, this little boy was very mean to other children in the classroom. He pushes the kids down, kicks them, hits them and bites them; I've witnessed this on several occassions. It looks to me like he thinks it's a game because he does it and then he laughs and giggles while being scolded by the teachers and the other child is crying.

For a little while there, my son was starting to display some of the same behaviors, but usually only when he was angry or frustrated about something... this, I understand, is a big part of his age. He can't quite communicate exactly what he wants and becomes easily frustrated and lashes out. He seems to be getting much better with this behavior, as we are getting better at understanding what he's trying to tell us. But I noticed at school, the one child I mentioned above, is still hitting, pushing and kicking the other children in the class. Just this morning, when we first got to the daycare, this boy walks right over to my son and pushes him to the floor... for no reason.

I guess my real question is... how do you go about addressing this kind of issue? I feel like I have a responsibility to my son and to the other children in the classroom to protect them from such behavior on a daily basis... EVEN if they're just a class full of 1-2 year olds. I know the teachers do their best to correct the child's behavior, but it's no longer enough.
kaydentaylorsmom responded:
I'm actually surprised they haven't said anything to the bully's parents. Or maybe they have and the parents don't care. I strongly believe that this child's parents should be notified. It's our job to protect our children from these things. And it's also our job to teach our children what's appropriate behaviour. I feel so bad for little ones being put into situations like that. I wish we could always be there to make those bullies go away. But for sure talk to the staff there and see what, if anything they've done about it. This is obviously an issue that should be taken care of at home. (The bully's, not yours) It makes me feel bad for the bully as well. Maybe he's copying what he sees at home..... a horrible thought.
Roy Benaroch, MD replied to kaydentaylorsmom's response:
From what you've said, the day care is not handling this appropriately. This child needs to change his behavior, and if that isn't happening, he ought to be expelled. This "bully" should not be allowed to continue this rampage. If the school will not act, you ought to move your child to a different place.
tothebeach4 responded:
Thank you, both, for your responses. After I posted this I almost felt... silly... ridiculous... because I'm talking about a bunch of 1 and 2 year olds. But your responses make me realize that it's important to deal with these behaviors at an early age, so they don't continue to be a problem. Thank you for validating my concerns, I really appreciate it!

I have this nagging feeling that this child was previously expelled from another daycare before he came into ours. I plan to speak with the center director this afternoon about my concerns. If nothing comes of that I am fully prepared to find childcare elsewhere. Thanks again!
kaydentaylorsmom replied to tothebeach4's response:
I hope all went well for you, and everything turns out ok.
Boyzmomee responded:
It is not up to you to contact the child's parents. Contact the person in charge at the day care. This child must not continue to be allowed to bully and hurt the other children.
Olivetre replied to tothebeach4's response:
At my daughter's daycare, if it is ongoing and is not corrected after speaking to the parents about the issue the child is expelled. If you received a student handbook when your child started at the daycare, it should have some procedures they follow when this happens.

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