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How did you tell your child another was on the way?
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lms504 posted:
Hi everyone, I have a 20 month old son and we are expecting his little brother in June. How and when did you tell your older child about the second child?

Thanks for any input!
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RoseLynn02 responded:
When : My husband & I told our oldest daughter that we were having another baby as soon as we found out. She went to all my dr. apts & every ultra sound apt, she was there when we found out it was a girl, & she came to see her new sissy the day after she was born after staying with my godfather while we were at the hospital. She did great when she was introduced to the new baby & when we brought her home, but at 1st she started to regress & then had some jealousy issues (very little though), but got passed all of that.

How : We told her mommy had a baby in her tummy & she was going to have a new brother or sister & asked what she thought of that. We had talked to her about another baby coming & if she would like that before we decided to have our 2nd as well though. We had her be involved in everything from picking out the layette to helping decide on a name. She was thrilled & yet sometimes jealous of the baby in mommy's tummy. My oldest DD is now 3 & 1/2yrs old & my youngest is 1yr old. They get along amazing....most times . She is very protective of her little sister, but they still will wrestle each other to the floor over a toy they both want to play with & don't want to share...funny thing the baby sometimes wins & usually starts it now.

Congrats on your 2nd baby boy! That is exciting.
 
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sdadkin responded:
I have two boys ages 2 1/2 and 8 months. They are 21 1/2 months apart. When I was pregnant with my second son we just got the books about being a big brother and read those to him. We would tell him that there was a baby in my tummy and he would kiss it, but he was still too young to understand.

You could buy a doll and show your son how you will be holding a new baby and how he is supposed to gently touch him and kiss him.

He will definitely have some jealous issues when you first bring the baby home. I suggest you schedule some one on one time with him. It will get really hard at the end of your pregnancy because you won't be able to lift him and you just wont have the nergy to play a lot. But you definitely need to have some alone time with him before and after the new baby comes. He will need it- and really you will too!
 
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lobermann responded:
My daughter is 10 and my DH's daughter is 7. When we found out we were expecting we weren't married yet. We decided to wait to tell the girls until the first ultrasound so we can have an exact due date for them. For my DD, we (me and my DF at the time, now DH) copied a picture of the ultrasound and then got her a congrats card for a little girl. In the card we told her how much we loved her and how we know she will be an amazing big sister to both his daughter and the new baby. We put the copied u/s picture in there. She was excited, but upset that we didn't know what the sex of the baby was yet.

For my DH's daughter he just flat out told her we were having a baby. Since she is 7 and has never been around someone pregnant before she didn't fully grasp the idea of a baby joining the family. She still doesn't 100%, but that is due to age I am sure. She is excited to have a baby brother though.
 
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lms504 replied to lobermann's response:
Thanks for your input! Very helpful.
 
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rpnewbs responded:
Our daughter was 21 months old when her baby brother came on the scene. We never actually outright told her that she would be having a baby brother, it didn't seem to matter to or register with her. Luckily she had a cousin born 2 months before who we saw on a regular basis, which I really feel helped prepare her for another tiny visitor. She knew that with babies you need to be quiet sometimes, and not pick them up, etc. Not that she had much natural volume control yet, and she still poked him in the eye several times, but she took it in stride. So, Visiting friends or family with tiny babies may help. The most important thing for you to remember is that a toddler needs much more attention that a newborn, and your youngest won't suffer from neglect if you play more with big bro than with him. You can also teach him how to play with the baby, softly, slowly, always when mommy's there, etc.

Now with #3 on the way #2 (at almost 2 years) is slightly more aware, kissing belly and repeating baby, mostly in mimickry of papa or big sis, who @ 3.5 years does understand. We waited to tell her until I started showing, and at first she balked at the idea, but we didn't make it an issue. We dropped the subject and a few months later, with more belly, mentioned it again, and she was fine with the idea. We didn't have jealousy issues between 1 & 2, mostly because #1 is very independent. You can't enforce a good relationship, but you can rules about behavior and respect for personal space. Kids 1 & 2 are great friends, who also fight over toys or games, but have more fun together than alone. Follow you son's lead when talking about the future sibling, and don't worry if he barely shows interest, that's normal too.


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