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Extreme Parenting - Do you know someone that fits into an extreme categories?
Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff posted:
Would you consider yourself a "Tiger Mom", "Helicopter", "Free-range " "Kiss-Feeder/Regurgitation " or a "Way Too Tan & I'll Take My Kid to the Tanning Salon With Me" mom"?

From Amy Chua's very strict parenting style to Alicia Silverstein's regurgitation style of feeding, there are many examples of extreme parenting.

What do you think? Do you think these parents have really thought about the consequences of their style? How tough is too tough? How lax is too lax? Do you think any of this is crazy?

nursingbug responded:
I think parenting can be overthought. Back when our grandparents were kids, how much did their parents think about all of this stuff? Not so say that we shouldn't make educated decisions on how we raise our kids, but it gets ridiculous at times. Everyone has different needs depending on their kids temperment and the famliy.
The other day my dh and I took my 4 yr old dd to a restaraunt; there was a large wait so we waited outside in some chairs, there were some other people waiting as well. DD hadn't been able to play outside much because of the weather so I let her run around in my sight to get some of the energy run off. Another little girl started following her around and her mother called after her saying 'it wasnt' a good choice.' So I was wondering if she didn't agree with how I was monitoring my child or if she just wasn't comfortable with her child doing that...
Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff replied to nursingbug's response:
I agree nursingbug, it can be overthought. Way back when was it easier, simpler? Or now do we have information overload?

I remember my parents letting us roam free and telling us to stay away from the "creepy" guy in the neighborhood. Today how would that be handled?

Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
Attachment Parenting - Now this IS extreme...
What are your thoughts?
nursingbug replied to Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff's response:
I remember reading something years ago about allowing young children to go up to strangers while in your sight to ask for directions, etc. Then you were supposed to talk to your child about how that person made you feel, scared, safe, etc. the whole idea being that the child would learn to trust their gut. (I have not tried this, at least not yet). I think kids used to be left to their own devices more and this made them more resilient. Mommy wasn't there to oversee every encounter, so they learned to entertain themselves, facilitate arguments with peers, etc. My father talked about leaving to play in the neighborhood right after breakfast and not coming back until dark. There really isn't that kind of environment anymore, back then all the moms were home, so an adult wasnt' to far away, now everyone works, so it is harder to have unconstructed play time.
One of the things that I want my child to have is wisdom- in my opinion this is not valued in modern society, but wisdom will help you survive better than an ivy-league education or any thing else money can buy. (I have known many, many well-educated people who are a stupid as a box of rocks) My challenge then is to give her experiences where she can develop wisdom, while still keeping her safe.
I do think there is information overload, but generally people control when they have their kids, so it is more of a project- raising children is more competitive. Modern life is so scary as well, I think we want to find a 'sure-fire' method that helps us feel better about our child's future, and ourselves free of blame if something goes wrong. In reality though we can only control so much, life will happen to our children no matter what we do.
oboingo76 replied to nursingbug's response:
nursingbug - that right there is one of my pet peeves. It wasn't a good choice? Who talks to their kids that way? Sorry, I know people will say I should not pick on other parents but I feel like so many people are way too soft on their kids. My instinct is to either allow my child to run around outside the restaurant (MUCH better than allowing them to run around inside the restaurant - which I see PLENTY of people do) or tell her not to because that's the rule. I make the rules and it's one way or the other. Telling her something is not a good choice when it comes to a simple "you can or you can't" is just so passive agressive to me. I have no desire to play mind games with my child. Perhaps this is a weakness?

I agree that people make it so much more complicated than it needs to be and in the long run I think they make it much harder on themselves. I see so many parents send mixed signals to their kids and over the years I see these kids who have no idea how to behave. I see parents and children trying to one up each other with sneaky, manipulative behavior because parents are never direct with their children. It's hard to watch.
nursingbug replied to oboingo76's response:
lol I agree...
I sometimes wonder if I am too soft- there is defiately a line that cannnot be crossed, but in my book, if what the kid is doing isn't dangerous, dirty (as in germy, not just messy), destructive or d**m annoying I really don't care!

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