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    Husband keeping child up late
    jenasci posted:
    My husband loves to indulge his oldest son when it comes to his bed time. Staying up til 10pm? No problem. Midnight? Sure. The boy is an early riser and will be up at the latest 9am every morning. Usually though he is awake at between 8-830am. When he doesn't go to bed until 11, 12, 1, or later sometimes, I know he isn't getting anough sleep and rest. I've noticed that when he stays up really late, we have more trouble with him during the day. Disobedient, always back talking, more argumentitive, just his entire attitude is worse. My husband doesn't seem to notice how his 4 year old acts different when he's up late.

    If I"m the one who puts him to bed earlier, say between 8 and 9pm, the boy wakes up about the same time he normally does and seems to have a much better day. I've tried telling my husband that his son needs more sleep than he's getting, but apparently he can't see what I see.

    I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm afraid that all this staying up late will eventually affect his son's development or something. He's only 4 years old and rarely gets more than 8 hours of sleep a night.
    baby1at35 responded:
    I am really strict about bedtimes. The counselor at our school in her kindergarten presentation stressed bedtime and how lack of sleep leads to behavior issues.
    My boys are 6 & 7 yrs so bedtime during school year is 7:30. Yes I know early but they really need around 11 hrs a night to feel good. So they get up around 6:30ish 7 ish. And I found no matter how late they go to bed they always wake at the same time.
    This summer I have moved bedtime to closer to 8:30 and they are doing well with it. As they get older they can get 10 hrs a night and do well.
    All I can say is I feel behavior/sleep is very much so related.
    Good Luck ! Maybe you can look up some articles on the importance of proper sleep for children.
    Good Luck !
    Roy Benaroch, MD responded:
    We don't have any great, long-term information on what happens to kids who don't get enough sleep-- those experiments just haven't been done. But there is some basic science information that gives us clues, and it's likely that sleep deprivation in the long run is not a good idea.

    For instance, we know that during sleep many areas of the brain involved w/ learning and memory are very active. It seems that sleep is the time when the brain encodes these memories, or seems to "set" the memories into long-term storage.

    Also, during sleep there are changes in the architecture of the brain, with brain cells attaching and de-attaching to each other to make more (or fewer) connections.

    So sleep does seem to be a very important time for normal brain development and learning.

    Of course, in the short run it's even more obvious: kids without sleep are cranky and miserable! To me, that's reason enough to try to make sure your little one is getting enough sleep!
    lavamom responded:
    I think the first thing to do is have a serious discussion of the importance of being a united front as parents. Our schedules vary every week which includes one of us being gone for a few days. My husband and I discuss our schedules once a week and agree with each other what the appropriate times will be for bedtime each day. Then we discuss it with our 4 year old to give him the heads up. We have set up a "fun wind down routine" that now seems Pavlovian for son and he loves going to bed. We have taught the routine to our childcare givers (grandma, aunts & uncles and babysitters) so we are all on the same page. They are happy to do it! I have learned that not being a united front as parents is more damaging to a child's welfare than lack of sleep.

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