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Raising fit Kids

separated parents, no communication, tantrums.
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Jessicafrench posted:
Hello there,
I have a 3 year old girl and with out getting to much in to the mess, i have a problem. My daughter splits her time between my self and my ex. the issue is that he will not communicate with me except by email and then its only to say if she needs a bath ect. When I drop her off at daycare some times she has a very hard time when I leave her. The daycare is saying she does not do that when her father drops her off. I am not sure what is going on here. please let me know what you guys think. i have tried to ask her father about these types of things and it just turns to a fight (both of us are guilty of this). are there any tricks or ways i can help her? she is also going through the power struggle phase.
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kay_kay75 responded:
Counseling, family counseling, you and your ex have to be able to communicate about your daughter for your sake and hers. I know that this is not easy especially depending on the reason for the split but you must put your daughter first. I know that in my State you are required to take parenting classes if you have children and are divorcing.
 
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Jessicafrench replied to kay_kay75's response:
Thank you Kay Kay, that does make total sense. I appreciate your reply!
We have both taken the classes and I have no problem with him. Just cant seem to get him to come around (after over 2 years) I have given up on him ever being able to put her first in this. I have continued to give him detailed emails of how she is behaving and what we did over the week hoping he would come around. Nothing. Courts cant do anything in less there is a safety concern. I thought this was a safety issue but apparently I was wrong. I just want to make her comfortable in her self and to know we will always be there for her. I think it doesn't help that she has so many sets of different rules. home, her fathers, and day care. arg!!! at least with daycare I can get some information on how she is doing when she isn't with me. sorry I am venting now.
 
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff replied to Jessicafrench's response:
Hi Jessica and Welcome -

You are welcome to vent, stomp, yell and scream here, you are fine. Sounds like you are doing everything right, I am sorry your family is going through this.

We also have a Single Parents Community. You also may be able to brainstorm with others over there.

Maybe the daycare can help by talking with both you and her dad about how important it would be for some common routines and rules.

Elizabeth
 
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Jessicafrench replied to Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff's response:
Morning Elizabeth and thank you!
I know I have been been not been perfect during this, rising to the bait an all. i had a chat this morning at daycare this am. she is being picked up by her father this afternoon so i passed some information on her behavior and spoke with her and her friend about treating each other nicely. hopefully the day care can pass this stuff to my ex and he will take it better than if i tell him.

thanks again for help and support! I am going to try the single parents forum now!
feeling not so alone in this with your help. while i do have a partner now, its still a matter for myself and my ex to get through. In my partner my daughter has a friend and listener for when she doesn't want to or feel comfortable speaking to her father or myself. hopefully that will help her now and for the rest of her life. thinking happy thoughts!


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