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My Son Won't Behave! Please Help!
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An_247604 posted:
Hello all, I am new here and have found this website while searching for a solution to my 6 year old son's problem. At home he will not behave, ever. He argues EVERYTHING (and I am not exagerating), screams and growls and runs away if he doesn't get what he wants. He will tantrum for hours. He has to have his own way. He will ask the same thing a thousand times. He is lazy and will not even try to keep his room tidy or help me clean it. He constantly breaks the rules - big ones, little ones, all of them. And then he says he "forgot" it was a rule. In school he is even worse. He hits his teachers, screams and cries over everything and is generally disruptive. In SK he was put on a modified dismissal program because the teacher couldn't handle the 2 hours a day she had to have him in her class. We had a decent summer (not great but an improvement over last school year) but today, the second day of grade 1, I'm being called in to have a meeting with his teacher. My son told me he had a great first day with no problems. The teacher told me that he screamed and disrupted the class and wouldn't participate and was behaving poorly in music class.

Now, before I continue, I would like to say that he's also a really sweet kid, too. He climbs into bed with us every morning for "snuggle time," he loves our cats and dog and treats them very well. He's good to his friends and is very social. He loves hot wheels cars and cake and is still scared of the dark. He's a regular little boy.

I also would like to say that my son has no medical/behavioral disorders or issues, He has been through four behavioural assessments in the last two years and all four doctors say that he will definitely test for gifted (he reads and does math at a 4th grade level) and he's emotionally immature and requires a lot of discipline but there are no other issues. So if this is the case (and after four different doctors have given me the same opinion, I'm inclined to believe it's the correct diagnosis) what am I supposed to do with him? I've tried everything over the last two years - positive reinfrcement, time outs, loss of privledges, diet change, spankings, loss of everything in his room but his books) and nothing works. As I couldn't find child care to cover his modified dismissal program, I lost my job and I know he felt the loss of income, even at 6. We have a stable home in a nice neighbourhood, he has an older brother and sister who he adores and have no behavioral issues. He's never been abused or really had a want for anything. So I don't get it. If there's nothing "wrong" (I hate to use that term) with him, why is he behaving like this?

I also worry about what to do about school. I can discipline him, take all of his things or even lock myself in the bathroom till dad gets home if he's being too crazy for me. But I need to work, we are dying here with one income. I can't deal with him behaving like this at school. I know they are going to try to get me to dope him up again this year (I'm sure that's what this afternoon's meeting will be about) but the doctors don't feel it's necessary. I know his school has no discipline policies whatsoever, and went as far as calling me abusive for telling them to take his train table privledges away for poor behavior. So no matter what it's going to continue at school until they kick him out and I lose my job again and we end up on the street.
Has anyone dealt with anything like this before? What did you do? How did you help your child. I know it seems like I'm complaining, but really I know this can't be fun for my little guy, I don't want him to feel so angry or upset he has to act out like that. So what do I do? Please help me.
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crisdavis responded:
I'm no doctor, but your story moved me... and, it sounds like a carbon copy of my youngest child, who is now 25, and finally diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder. I wish with all my heart I had kept knocking on doors when she was little, but I beleived the 4 doctors WE saw who said it was just a matter of my being 'consistant', and that she was , 'immature'. Keep knocking on doors- fiind the help he needs NOW.


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