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Issues with 21 month old
An_246126 posted:
I have two of my own children but also take care of a friend's child during the week. My children are newly 3 and 8 months. The child I care for is 21 months. She talks at the level my 3 year old did at 13 months. ( I understand different children have different verbal progressions so that is not my first concern, she walked early and is physically developed ahead of most kids her age). My concern are the issues with her behaviors. She screams, and bits her fingers so hard to the point that they bleed sometimes. She gets so frustrated with things that she will often shake in frustration. She is now acclimated to my children (although REALLY struggles with playing with other children, but does fine independently) but if we go to the park with lots of other kids she will not go near them and will stand with me the whole time. She sometimes freaks out when meeting new kids. She blinks her eyes when we clap on every clap she will blink. She is deathly afraid of the vacuum. She has never slept much, I've cared for her since she was 9 months old, and at 9 months she was only taking one nap at a max of 50 min. I have tried to work out these issues and have done a little research... some of her things match up with Asberger's syndrome, but she physically has developed above average, and seems to be meeting the minimums of the verbal communication suggested by the sheets you receive from doctors. Because her mother is a friend, I am nervous to bring up my concerns especially if this is normal for some children. Her parents did seperate for I think it was about 7 months starting when she was about 7 months. They are living back together now and sounds like things are going well. I am just trying to figure out if these are things she may grow out of or not. I have made little suggestions of things to talk to the doctor about, and she says she'll ask, but with most things never does.Are these things worthy of concern? May I note, I have cared for many children, been a nanny and have child shared with other moms and have interacted with many children of the toddler age.
Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Anon -

This does sound concerning and I can understand how talking to a friend about their child can be touchy.

Has your friend followed up with the pediatrician about biting and shaking? Could you suggest you both sit down and put together a list of concerns that you both notice to talk with the doctor about?

Maybe print out developmental milestones for all the kids in your house. See this resource for some ideas and suggestions -

Health & Parenting - Toddler Development
Health & Parenting Center

Our members in the other Parenting Communities may have thoughts and suggestions. Check them out to see the different age groups and members.

Hoping your friend listens and explores what's going on. You are a great friend for being concerned.


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